change occurs all the time. change could be right around the corner. change is inevitable. i look in the mirror and i see change (at my age now) that seems to occur every day. from birth until death, my body is going through change. i have looked forward to some of those changes. i remember as a young girl anxiously awaiting certain bodily changes to occur and later discovering that those changes were not all i hoped they would be. i remember hoping that i would grow several more inches because i was so short. for some reason the inches kept growing around my waist and not to my height. ugh! change is inevitable and growing is not optional for my body.
changes in life are inevitable. growing through those changes emotionally is optional and completely in my control.
the seasons change four times a year every year. we can learns ways to cope with life’s changes from our experience with nature’s seasonal changes.
- Don’t be caught off guard. we are aware that each seasonal change is coming. each season is different and unique. we can’t stop the change but we can prepare for it. life changes are similar. some changes are expected. a child will loose their baby teeth at around the age of 5-6 years old. menopause occurs approximately between the age of 40-61 years of age. we get an understanding of what we are in for and can prepare for it. however, unexpected change is going to happen. life is full of surprises. the first step in coping with change is to accept that change is a reality and is inevitable.
- Don’t ignore the signals. when summer is finishing and fall is on it’s way, the first signals are apparent. the temperatures begin to drop, for one. i usually begin telling myself, “it’s may, fall is almost here”. did that shock you? it would because for my readers in America, you would be looking forward to summer following may, right? well, it’s the end of fall in New Zealand. my point is that i begin to prepare so that i am not caught off guard for seasonal changes. in life, once we come to terms with the reality of change, it is important to be on the outlook for the signals that are telling us that change is coming. when i went through my divorce, the signs were all there and i hid my head in the sand. this was partly due to my emotional state of mind. nonetheless, the signs were there and i was unprepared. however, when i needed to leave my last job, my comfort zone was becoming less comfortable. my husband and i had decided three months earlier that the time had come to leave and that i would work in the business we owned. the day i resigned was a bit of a shock to both myself and my boss but i had actually been preparing myself long before that day. i actually had my resignation letter written and ready to hand over. we, then, worked through the logistics to make it happen.
- practice a trauma plan. this is probably one of my favourite steps. civil defence, in every city i have ever lived in, practices a trauma plan. seasonal changes sometimes bring traumatic weather. being prepared helps preserve life. hospitals practice steps they will take in the event of an emergency. i have a trauma plan for my life. this plan includes how to have difficult conversations; which reactions are appropriate and which are not; when to hold it together and when to fall apart; actions to take, and other skills i can apply when i feel taken off guard. i am trained in cpr. when i see the signs that indicate someone is in trouble, i have practiced the techniques often enough that i can step in and help. i decided that this practice is a smart skill for my life and i practice. i won’t have all the answers for every surprise that comes my way; however, i am better prepared for the most common issues and can think my way through the problem, change, or critical issues when they arise….because i am not freaked out. firstly, I’ve practiced remaining calm. remember how i’ve said before that i say to my daughter, “don’t panic”? it’s because it is part of my trauma plan (like in a medical emergency) to remain calm. secondly, i can work with myself to get to the worst case scenario, “how bad can it be?” once i have coped with that…everything better than the worst case scenario is a big celebration-for me…well, actually, it’s just easier to cope with. 😉
- now, what to control. while i can not change many of my circumstances, i can change me, my reactions, and how i adjust and grow. the seasons are going to change no matter how much i protest that i only prefer to live in summer. throwing a fit does nothing to effect the fact that fall is on it’s way and then winter. therefore, i have to work with it…make the adjustments…get my warmer clothes ready to wear. change may turn my world upside down but i can choose to make the most of the situation and grow. blaming is natural but not really effective and can have many adverse effects. choosing growth and empowerment gives me the strength to handle the change in a dignified way.
- regroup and go forward. every season requires that i regroup. i go through my closet, de-clutter, throw out things i never wear, wash and put away that season’s clothing and bring out what i need for the new season. change is a great time to re-evaluate life. am i being true to my most “authentic self” as Oprah would say or my purpose? have i made quality decisions or do i need to make further, controlled changes to prevent future catastrophes? are my life choices bringing me closer to my life goals, values and happiness? if not, now is a great time to regroup and tweak the plan. once the adjustments to the change are made, allow time to get into the groove of the new habits, patterns or way of life then move forward. life is a journey…keep moving forward…growing as you go…making decisions with as much wisdom as you can acquire… and live.
change is inevitable but it doesn’t have to feel like it came from left field leaving us stunned and unable to cope. preparing for change is an important life skill that will help growth continue and transitions occur as easily as possible. practicing these tips will help you begin to handle change like a pro…at least the pro of your life!
here we are facing another weekend…hope it’s great!
thank you for spending a few moments with me.
D
deeclarknz.com 