Kind Words Echo Endlessly

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Have you ever had to bite your tongue in order to prevent yourself saying something that just didn’t need to be said?

Or do you believe that it’s important to say everything you think?

Kind words?

Or harsh?

Which do you want echoing endlessly in the hearts of the people you meet?

If you choose kind words (and might I add actions because I believe actions ripple), the choice is not about the other person, the circumstance or situation.

I understand that sometimes we must confront difficult situations. I’m not saying remain silent. However, the outcome is effected by how you go about the confrontation. You can be firm without being destructive.

Mother Teresa’s words often echo in my heart. Her words help me see how she kept her focus on her purpose, her life’s work and what she valued. They are speaking to me (and millions of others) long after the years she spent on earth.

Sadly, I am aware that I have echoes that I wish I had not sent out.

We can’t change the past but we can be more mindful of our future.

Words do matter…to others

But more importantly…to you and your journey.

Happy journeying,
D

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the value of being kind when others aren’t

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My cousin spent today helping an infuriating, older neighbour tear down a fence. It was something her neighbour probably would not have reciprocated. She also had to wade through plants that were not good for her allergies. When completed, her young daughter noticed and commented about her labour of love.

My cousin stated: “My hives are calming down, Ill be fine and Sarah’s response makes it worth it. She said, “Mommy, why we’re you helping her when she doesn’t even like us?” I explained it’s the neighborly thing to do. She replied, “But Mom I heard her talking to you in a nice voice. Is she going to be nice now? Will she be a friend?” Good life lesson to learn when I told her that wasn’t why I did it and she probably will not be a friend. Some people are just the way they are.”

Is it really worth being nice to someone who isn’t easy to be nice to?

I think the answer is definitely, “yes.”

People are all different, have differing value systems and differing historical stories that cause them to be who they are.

Reacting like someone acts causes me to be disloyal to myself and who I really am. I most enjoy being kind, generous, loving and giving. That’s when I’m happiest within.

I find myself frustrated having to live on “their” playing field. So, I came to the realisation that revenge is not sweet for me. Being “me” is…therefore, I live fully out of my heart and appreciate that they are different than me.

I don’t expect them to be me (even when it’s hard) or give more than they are capable of giving.

It’s taken many years to reach this place…

I really despise my “mean Dee” more than I despise actions coming my way.

I also believe love never fails (even if I can’t see the good effects).

The question is, “who do I want to be and what type of journey do I want to travel?”

Answering that question for myself helps me set my standard of behaviour. It is not an easy journey and it takes maturity.

Which do you prefer?

One perpetuates drama and the other brings inner satisfaction.

If you haven’t reached the goal of not allowing circumstances to turn your world upside down, keep going. Keep applying purposeful actions to bring you to the place in your journey that you most desire.

Have a great day!
D

Who we are with each other…how we show up…matters!

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I was standing in the check out line the other day. I was in my little “Dee” world. You know the one, I was in a hurry; places to be, things to do. I was doing the mental checklist of what I had been able to accomplish and what I had to rush off to get completed before the time I had allotted got away from me. The check-out girl was chatting away and I was smiling and nodding but really, I wasn’t there. I was away with my thoughts.

An elderly lady walk up behind me in the line. Suddenly, I heard, “Put her groceries on your bill.”

It snapped me back to the moment and I said, “what?” The two women gave me dumb-founded looks. They had not spoken. The elderly lady walked away to grab another item and I looked at the check-out girl and said, “ok, let’s do it, put her groceries on my bill. I will pay for them.”

Needless to say, both women were overwhelmed. The elderly lady teared up and when she got over the shock of what happened, she was elated. She couldn’t believe her good fortune and began to say, “No one has ever done anything like this for me in all my life. This made my day.”

I walked out feeling like I was on top of the world. The cost for me was so minimal -much less than I would like to do.

I have a dream. I want to make a difference in the world. I have this idea of how that will come to be. The idea is so big that sometimes getting to that idea seems too far away from what my heart would like to do today.

That day, I realized that although I do make attempts when I can to emulate that dream…Most of the time, I am waiting for the “one day” when I can fully put that dream into motion.

I think I look longing to the future and forget that this moment is the one I have been given to live.

20140512-231621.jpgIn this day, this moment, before me, are differing opportunities in the form of relationships. Some, I do not know personally- like the lady in the grocery store.

Others have included reconnecting to friends from years past. Catching up. Sharing. Lending a listening ear. Sometimes sharing an experience that may benefit their situation.

I have work relationships.

I have family.

There is a full world of opportunity right in my own back yard.

Those relationships are important; who we are with each other, what we say…how we show up! It matters.

The other day in the grocery store, I did not “show up” in a way that would lend true value to the people right in front of me…at least not until I heard within my heart to reach out and help.

20140512-231313.jpgIt would seem easy to get on a plane and go to the other side of the world to a need-filled country and lend a hand. This feels like an important way to make a difference. Easier, in fact, than working in my own back yard.

My own backyard (my world) is full of hearts that are broken where difficult conversations need to be had and prickly issues need to be addressed.

Having those difficult conversations may not be as easy as acts of kindness to a stranger or feel as grandiose as feeding the hungry in a foreign country.

But by having those difficult conversations, dealing with those prickly issues, and clearing the air- miracles happen.

We all have difficulties in relationships from time to time. We offend someone because we wake up on the wrong side of the bed. We punish a work colleague because they were recognized for a job well done and we weren’t. The neighbour drives us crazy. Family relationships become strained. Someone needs an apology or an explanation to help their wounded heart move on. Or a stranger is longing to know that their existence means something to someone but no one speaks up with confirmation.

20140512-231951.jpgThose relationships are the very ones that have been placed in our world and if we recognize the opportunity -we can make a difference.

Why wait for a future time to do something more important?

Why not look at what is right in front of us today and make miracles happen.

Maybe those miracles will seem insignificant to you and me but for the person for whom the miracle occurs…it could be life changing.

Don’t wait!

Show up to the relationships in your life in a meaningful way.

Clear the air, if it is necessary, so that you and the that significant person can journey together with joy in your hearts instead of pain.

It matters!

Dee

the best way to share riches with someone

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take the time to help someone understand their value.

there are riches within all of us!

kids say the funniest things: my day at school

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i have two grand children: Jake almost 7 yrs old and Ella who just turned 6 yrs old.

i started volunteering today at my grand children’s school. apparently, it’s not common in NZ schools to have parent volunteers. the children were amazed to have a new face in their classrooms. it seemed even more intriguing to them since i was a grand parent.

20140401-211648.jpgi thought i would share some of the funny things the children said to me today.

20140401-211830.jpgi truly enjoyed myself and look forward to going back.

20140401-214120.jpgthe cute things children said to me today:
1. Who are you and why are you here?

2. Teacher: Jake, would you like to tell the class who this is and why she is here? Jake: This is my great grandma. She’s here to help us do fun stuff. If she says to us to us to read a book, should we say yes or no?

3. Boy: That girl likes me! (Me:she does? How do you know?) boy: cause I’m hot.

4. (Girl swinging from the monkey bars): I’m having a break from school for a while…I’m too tired for school.

5. Are you sure you are jake’s great grandma? My great grandma is real old. I think she’s like 50 or something. How old are you? (Jake: in 1 more year she will be as old as my mom!) (I’m 53 and my daughter is 25!)

6. girl: I have a really big house. We need lots of room because my grandma lives with us and she takes up a lot of room. If she would move out we wouldn’t have to live in a big house anymore.

7. Me to a little boy with hair the color of Ella’s: it looks like you and Ella have been coloring out of the same crayon box. Little boy: yip! We have the best color. (They both have red hair).

8. I asked if someone could show me where the restroom was. My grandson volunteered to show me where to find it. A little girl said to me: it’s probably better if you use the girl one. (I assured her i would make sure he showed me to the right one).

9. Standing at the restroom door one little girl says to me: look, if there are wees on the seat, just wipe it off with your hand. No worries.

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