how my day ended with me feeling like a star

they (whoever they are) say that change is as good as a holiday.

today, i think “they” might be right.

i’ve had a great start to my year. i feel very focused and although i am away from my blog a lot lately, i am getting some very important tasks completed.

i hope to be able to share some of my accomplishments with you, but at the moment my time is stringently ordered for me.

in fact, i haven’t even had the opportunity to take my yearly vacation (it is summer in NZ and many of my friends are getting away from the daily grind to rest and relax on their annual holiday. BTW, here, it is mandatory that everyone who works gets 4 weeks paid holiday from their job after 12 months!!! i think that is fabulous!)

it’s quite busy for us at work…which is a great problem to have when you own your own business.

however, i have had one nagging little “something” going on in my little woman world that was leaving my heart feeling like there’s something more to do.

now, in the scope of things important, it wouldn’t rank extremely high. yet, in the scope of a “heart” matter, it needed attention.

what was it?

bad hair days!

…too many to count over the recent past.

and girls, if we don’t feel good about our hair, no diet, new outfit or perfect make up application can set that right.


well, it is true for me.

so, it was nagging at me.

last night, i sat down to watch the SAGA Awards that i had recorded on my new cable technology (yes, i do realize it’s not new technology…i just recently caught up). during the red carpet portion of the program, i saw it. “it” being the hairstyle i wanted to try.

Jennifer Lawrence appeared with her new pixie hairstyle…

she looked stunning…

and i loved it.

so, i woke up today to one day-too- many bad hair days…

i jumped in my car, headed to the salon and presto-chango…

i had, something termed -“as good as a holiday”…change.
while, i’m no Jennifer Lawrence,

my husband looked at me as if i were the star in his love story. how great is that?

from time to time, we all need that little something that brings brightness to our life.

i can’t emphasize the importance enough of taking time out of your busy schedule to do that one thing that will lift your spirit, cheer your heart and put a little spark in your day.

it shows your heart that you understand just how important “you” are and that “you” are valuable.


2 keys to dealing with confronting communications
a gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles tempers. -Proverbs

good communication is an important foundation for strong relationships.

communication breakdowns occur when strong, negative emotions overshadow the message. as women, we can be very passionate when we feel strongly about an issue.

there is a temptation to release the tension caused by angry emotions by yelling, slamming doors or other outbursts. however, an angry approach adds fuel to the fire. the emotion then becomes the focus. the message you are trying to communicate can become diminished or misunderstood. as a result nothing positive is achieved.

expressing emotion is an important part of communication as well. the key is to communicate them so that you can move past them, not fuel them.

when we find ourselves in a confrontation, it’s important to remember these 2 things:

    • an answer should be given – the injured person should not wrap himself in sullen silence
    • and that answer should be gentle

gentleness can be firm without being harsh.

i was visiting my daughter the other day and my grandchildren wanted to tell me about a conflict they had with each other.

each was passionate about their position. the end result of the conflict was not very good, even from their young perspectives.

it caused me to realise how important it is to teach children to communicate what they are feeling, communicate their feelings, value each person’s feelings, respect another person’s boundaries, forgive and move on.

so, we practiced.

at first, neither wanted to participate. i had to respect that.

within a few minutes, my granddaughter agreed and decided she did want to practice what she should do.

as she and i began to practice how to communicate, my grandson decided that he would practice as well…because it meant that he would be heard.

by the end of the exercise, they had practiced communicating to the their sibling what they wanted to say, asking for forgiveness, and giving forgiveness.

life skills are not caught…they are taught.

when we are given the appropriate tools, we have a better chance at being successful.

and we all want to be successful at whatever we attempt to do.

conflicts are difficult. they can be painful but they are not impossible to resolve.

good communication skills can help us to focus on the issue and not become side tracked.

you don’t have to remain silent if the issue is important to your heart.

your response can either help or prevent a successful outcome.

the choice is fully yours to make.

anger will ignite an unsuccessful outcome and gentleness will defuse the situation.


Winnie the Pooh’s Silver Lining

One of the advantages of being disorganized is that one is always having surprising discoveries. -A.A. Milne (Winnie The Pooh)

maybe there is always a silver lining.

my hubby is surprised a lot, i suppose. Lol

Tyler Perry’s Thoughts For The Day

(Photo credit: Wishbox)

I am a big Tyler Perry fan. Today on Tyler’s Facebook page he posted the following. I found it very inspiring and thought that my readers would to. I hope you enjoy and are encouraged to not “stay too long”!


I haven’t written in a while so this is a little long, but it’s so worth your time to read.

I was in Wyoming recently and I was taking in the beauty of the place. I mean, I love it. As I was looking up at the mountains I saw an eagle flying above me. I had to stop and take in its majestic beauty. I had never seen a real life eagle. All I had heard about an eagle was in church when the pastor said that the eagle pushes its young out of the nest to teach it to fly. It really did move me watching this bird that had no doubt been pushed out of the nest and had learned to do what I was watching it do.

I got back to the cabin that evening and I started doing some research on eagles. I was so excited to read the story of how it learned to fly. Well, to my surprise, eagles pushing their young out of the nest is a myth. I was shocked. I know that I heard a preacher say that in church… now I ain’t gonna say that that pastor lied but I will say he didn’t do the research… LOL. So I did it on my own. I did find some interesting facts that got me thinking about life… mine and yours. It’s funny how God can speak through everything. Here’s what I found.

Eagles build the biggest nest of all birds. It’s huge, comfortable and deep. One of the most interesting things that I found was the way that the eagle gets its young chicks to fly out of the nest. For many weeks it brings food to the nest. The little eagles have no worries, they have all they need to survive. But when the adult eagle deems that it’s time for the young eagles to fly, things get uncomfortable.

Now the young eagle doesn’t know that it’s time to fly, but the wisdom and the bird’s eye view of the mother knows that it’s time for the chicks to leave the nest. So you know what she does? She doesn’t bring food to the babies anymore, and this is what I found fascinating. Many times she will fly around the nest with the food in her beak so that the young eagles will be tempted or so hungry that they are forced to fly out of the nest and take it out of her beak. Stay with me I’m going somewhere here.

As I thought about this, I thought about my life and how many times I was in a very comfortable space. I had all I needed. There was no need for me to go any further because I was comortable. I wanted to stay there forever. You have to be careful when you get comfortable and stay too long. It’s easy to stop dreaming when your belly is full. You won’t feel the need to fly at all.

The truth is, as long as I was there in that really comfortable space, I wasn’t fulfilling my own destiny or my purpose. I wasn’t flying, I was content. Remember this, your greatest prayers are not usually answered in comfort. Think about it. I can really get deep into this with stories from my past but you’re probably tired of reading already… LOL… so I’ll try and wrap it up.

It took an uncomfortable situation or being hungry to make me get out and fly. Many times in life things are going well, but then everything that was so great changes and we wonder why. We wonder what happened. We are caught off guard. I am of the opinion that in those times God, who knows when it’s time for us to leave the nest, is allowing it to become uncomfortable so that we can move on to our next mission in life. Our next hope, our next dream, our next level.

After not realizing this for many years and resisting changes and going through hell, I’m glad to say that I have become so sensitive to when it’s time to move that I will move without having to have the turmoil. I’m telling you I was so stubborn that the house had to burn down for me to move. Now I know better. I’m aware of when it starts to happen, like things happen that don’t make any sense. People you have been friends with or in business with or otherwise for years just seem to go crazy and you don’t know why. What I’ve learned in those moments is that it is a time to fly. Business changes, jobs go away, friends break your heart, marriages end, relationships end, and most times all these things are signs that it’s time to take flight to your next level.

Nobody likes change, I get it, but don’t be angry or bitter when things change. Don’t be mad with people, especially when you know you did right by them and you did all you could do for the friendship or relationship. I’m sorry to tell you this my friend, but this moment was not about them it was all about you. I’m telling you if God has allowed you to become so uncomfortable in your situation, whatever it is, then its time for you to move! Don’t be afraid, just fly!

Last thing and then I’m done . there is one part of the eagle story that I haven’t told you yet, and this is my favorite part. If those baby eagles get out of the nest and they are trying to fly and it’s not going well, then that same mother bird that provided for them while they were in the nest, that same eagle will fly under the baby eagle to keep it from falling, to keep it on course, and give it a sense of security. God’s got you, don’t be afraid! He won’t let you fall!

Now here’s the question: what situation in your life has become so uncomfortable that you feel like you’re being starved for what you need? Maybe its God’s way of telling you it’s time to fly! It’s time to fly for your own dreams and your own hopes and goals. Fly for true love and real hope. This is your moment to fly, in 2014. Make this the year that you leave the nest without fear.

Give and Give Again

deeclarknz.comit is far too easy to live as though we are invincible…as though there will always be numerous opportunities before us.

why do we wait for the last opportunities to emphasize value on what we might be faced with loosing?

being in only this moment-not regretting, grieving or obsessing over the past; not worrying, being anxious or fearful of the future-but fully living, appreciating and dwelling in this moment and all its splendor would change so much about our lives.

we would forgive and give more.

we would love more deeply.

so, why not?

we should!

i should!

it would require focus.

probably a lot of focus.

yet, it’s doable….

Love, forgive and give as if you only have this one chance…

As Life Goes By

what seems to grow fairer to me

as life goes by is the love and grace and tenderness of it;

not it’s wit and cleverness and grandeur of knowledge

-grand as knowledge is-

but just the laughter of children

and the friendship of friends,

and the cozy talk by the fire,

and the sight of flowers,

and the sound of music.

-author unknown

10 facts about your primary gift

the holidays are finished and we are already full steam ahead into the new year. mine has already been busy and productive.

all of my Christmas decorations are down and packed away until next Christmas -which i am sure will arrive before i blink twice.

i have de-cluttered every room in my house so that everything has a place and everything is in it’s place or at least can easily be returned there.

at work, we are busy little bees as our juvenile stock grow like little weeds. i truly enjoy watching living things develop and grow.

on a personal note, i am attending to the few extra pounds by doing a refresher course on the Dukan Diet.

little by little, i am making progress and keeping up my momentum on my journey.

the next step for me is to get back to sharing my heart with my readers.

since we have not long ago had a season of giving and receiving gifts and many people are looking at what they would like to accomplish in the new year, i decided today that we should look at recognising your primary gift.

Mike Murdock shares how we can discover the gifts, opportunities and relationships that are already in our life in his Laws of Life series.

i would like to share these 10 facts to help you better recognise what your primary gift is.

  1. everyone has gifts and there will be one that is dominant in your life.
  2.  not everyone recognises their primary gift; therefore, the opportunity to feel unrewarded or dissatisfied with life can present itself.
  3. although you  may see similarities to another person’s gift, your primary gift will be unique to you. there is no one like you in all the world and your gift is significant and important.
  4. your gift will help solve problems for those closest to you. The proverbs tell us, “Don’t withhold good when it is needed, when it is in the power of your hand to do it.”
  5. obsessing about your weakness will prevent you from seeing and appreciating your gift. China has the greatest ping-pong players in the world. once when the master mentors were asked how they handled the weaknesses of their proteges, they explained that they ignored them. they explained that if the dominate strength of the player received total focus, it would compensate for any weakness elsewhere in their form. it is not wise to rehearse and focus on the qualities in life that discourage us most.
  6. your gift will operate greater in challenging circumstances. fighters and boxers will often find more energy arise in them the greater the challenge they face.
  7. you must guard against letting what other people focus on concerning you deter you. sadly, relatives can sometimes focus on your weakness and we can adapt to it. we can begin to put too much focus on what others despise.
  8. admiring other people can create a desire to emulate their primary gift. you are unique…no one can be you and you are not meant to be someone else.
  9. what you would love to do everyday of your life is a good clue to recognising your primary gift. try this: if everyone in the world was only allowed to earn $10 per hour, what would you choose to do?
  10. your point of difference is what is significant about you and your gift. it is important to learn from those around us (remember, your gift will help solve problems for those closest to you…well, so will theirs help you). however, it is important to remember that your gift, your significance and difference are for a different purpose than anyone else’s. celebrate your difference!

David recognised that he was more than a psalmist or a shepherd. he was a warrior and he knew it! Israel once sang out that Saul had slain his thousand but David, his ten thousands.

Joseph was more than an interpreter of dreams. he had uncommon compassion. recognising the unhappiness of his cell mates was the catalyst to his ascent to ruling in Eygpt.

Paul was more than a thinker or talker…he was a revelator.

finding your most dominate gift will give greater significance, satisfaction and focus to your journey. focus all of your energy on it, not your weakness. if you give your full focus to developing your gift, it will compensate for your weakness.

i certainly hope that you have had a great start to the new year and i look forward to seeing you back here soon…for more insight from a woman’s heart.


how to overcome the fear of failure

deeclarknz.comwe all feel fear when we try something new or difficult.

face your fears and try!

all you can do is give it your best effort.

trust your gifts and talents…

You have them for a very good reason.


how i won’t be suffocating my confidence this year

have you got a great pair of sunglasses in hand?

you know, so that you are ready for your bright future in 2014?

the new year’s celebrations and hype are complete.

they inspire us to look forward, renew our hope for the future and say goodbye to all the gut wrenching pain experienced in the previous year.

we set goals, make ourselves promises and aspire to greatness.

after a few days, we wrestle with the continuum that is all too familiar and assume…nothing is going to change expect the date.

i decided that this year i was not going to set myself up for failure by creating a noose that would sit around my neck suffocating my confidence.

i do not like to fail!

do you?

i didn’t think so!

i’m not alone, then.

therefore, i am not going to promise to abstain from chocolate.

nor am i going to promise to get up at 4:30am every morning and run 10 miles.

it’s blowing up a storm outside as i’m getting ready for bed…so an early morning run in the pouring rain and hollowing wind during the darkest part of the morning does not appeal to me much less motivate me.

20140104-001952.jpgi have decided that i will continue my journey, a step at a time, following my plan of action(s), using my developed skill sets, and applying gathered Wisdom.

each day will be different.

if i am unequipped in an area…i will train, learn and up skill.

if change is required, i will use my courage (great or small) and work toward change.

i do not know what is on the horizon. sometimes, that makes taking a step frightening.

for those times i will lean on faith.

there will be imperfect days.

i may shed tears. i don’t relish that thought…but i may.

i will laugh.

and celebrate…YAY!

20140104-011237.jpgi will waste some time.

or sleep later than my husband who wakes at the crack of dawn.

i will have productive days like today when i reorganized my entire house.

20140104-011925.jpgalong the way,

i’ll meet you here for a heart to heart about issues important to me and common to women…

i’ll bring encouragement with me…

and leave encouraged that you came.

365 days to work with and grow in.

C’est la Vie = It is the life…the life journey i have been blessed with…

a life designed with plans for peace, …a future filled with hope. (Jer. 29:11)

if you are making resolutions, make them attainable and realistic…expect the unexpected…and always remember…

You ARE more than capable of making this year everything it should be and more!