a gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles tempers. -Proverbs
good communication is an important foundation for strong relationships.
communication breakdowns occur when strong, negative emotions overshadow the message. as women, we can be very passionate when we feel strongly about an issue.
there is a temptation to release the tension caused by angry emotions by yelling, slamming doors or other outbursts. however, an angry approach adds fuel to the fire. the emotion then becomes the focus. the message you are trying to communicate can become diminished or misunderstood. as a result nothing positive is achieved.
expressing emotion is an important part of communication as well. the key is to communicate them so that you can move past them, not fuel them.
when we find ourselves in a confrontation, it’s important to remember these 2 things:
- an answer should be given – the injured person should not wrap himself in sullen silence
- and that answer should be gentle
gentleness can be firm without being harsh.
i was visiting my daughter the other day and my grandchildren wanted to tell me about a conflict they had with each other.
each was passionate about their position. the end result of the conflict was not very good, even from their young perspectives.
it caused me to realise how important it is to teach children to communicate what they are feeling, communicate their feelings, value each person’s feelings, respect another person’s boundaries, forgive and move on.
so, we practiced.
at first, neither wanted to participate. i had to respect that.
within a few minutes, my granddaughter agreed and decided she did want to practice what she should do.
as she and i began to practice how to communicate, my grandson decided that he would practice as well…because it meant that he would be heard.
by the end of the exercise, they had practiced communicating to the their sibling what they wanted to say, asking for forgiveness, and giving forgiveness.
life skills are not caught…they are taught.
when we are given the appropriate tools, we have a better chance at being successful.
and we all want to be successful at whatever we attempt to do.
conflicts are difficult. they can be painful but they are not impossible to resolve.
good communication skills can help us to focus on the issue and not become side tracked.
you don’t have to remain silent if the issue is important to your heart.
your response can either help or prevent a successful outcome.
the choice is fully yours to make.
anger will ignite an unsuccessful outcome and gentleness will defuse the situation.