tried and purified words could save you some grief


1. Words are important.
2. Just because you think it…you don’t have to say it.
3. Test your words.
4. Purify your words.
5. If your words don’t pass the test…maybe you should swallow them instead of spilling them.
6. If your words are not pure in intent, motive and loving…STOP…re-THINK what you’re about to say.

foolish lips bring strife and a foolish mouth invites a beating.

every word of God is tried and purified…maybe we should follow His example.

we could save ourselves some grief.

A little food for thought.
D 🌺

what’s a girl to do? busy-ness

my week has taken a major turn. not at all what i had planned in my idealistic world of dreams. what’s a girl to do?

don’t panic. (see i really do say this a lot)


prioritise (I can spell…in New Zealand words with “-ize” are spelled “-ise”; and for those who have warned me about my spelling, i’ll add, words ending in “-or” are spelled “-our”. i’m not in Kansas anymore, ToTo).

normally, i would head for a few quiet moments on the beach and blog…but no time this week.

there are some big changes happening, plus my mad scientist husband has sprung a big project for work on me (oyster farm style). needless to say, there will be no pretty dresses or high heels in the plan for this week. more like head to toe seaweed, mud and ocean muck. i wonder if ocean muck has any surprisingly miraculous benefits for preventing ageing or wrinkles? a girl can hope.

while i will be up to my elbows in mud, i will have to postpone my planned post schedule…but i will attempt to post some encouraging or inspiring morsels as i can.

i believe everything happens for a reason so this is no different…there will be days…weeks…months…years…like this. you know what i mean, days like this seem to be forever long and feel like they go on and on. that’s alright…the best way to deal with it is head down, big girl undies on and go THROUGH it.

will that work for a plan? 😉

i do have a silver lining. yes, i do. my daughter found Fritos in a local store. why is that my silver lining? because New Zealand does not have many of the everyday ordinary American foods we are used to. just the other day i was daydreaming about Frito Pie (i must have needed some childhood comfort food). i thought, “well, that won’t be happening til i’m home for a visit”.

to my delight (and my daughter’s as well) we will be doing an American Frito Pie feast as soon as my week settles down. yes, a silver lining! simple pleasures can make all the difference in the world (& yes, i realise it’s a guilty pleasure and i will use it! 😎)

i certainly hope you have a fabulous week.

hope to see you soon.


look inside your heart to help regulate behaviour

absolutely, as i always say….look inside your heart!

the miraculous offering of acceptance

Feb2013 (266)-001

since we know the pain that rejection can cause, shouldn’t we offer others a miracle…acceptance for the unique gift they can be to us?

The Sunshine Blogger Award

sunshine-blog-awardIt’s a bright, bright sun-shiny day! What a special honor to be nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award by fellow inspiring blogger, Rock Your Inner Hippie.

What a pleasant surprise for the start my day. Thank you, Mary.

There are some small details that go hand-in-hand with excepting this fun award, so here they are:

‘The rules…’

  • Include the award logo in a post or on the blog
  • Include a link to the person who nominated you (Mary, thank you again!)
  • Write 10 random things about yourself
  • Nominate ten other bloggers who “positively and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere”, and let them know you nominated them…

Now, 10 Random Things about Me…

1. I love experimenting with my hair. My mantra is “it’s only hair…it’ll grow back”. Therefore, I change hairstyles often.

2. I believe red licorice should definitely be included in the food groups. I prefer mine at breakfast.

3. My happy place is sitting on a huge rock, in the sunshine, watching the waves roll in: “rock-time”.

4. The VW Beetle is my favourite ride. I’ve owned 2. I would trade my BMW Roadster in for one today. It’s like blowing bubbles-cuteness & happiness waiting to happen.

5. My favourite sense is smell. My idea of sensational bliss is walking into specialty shops with yummy aromas. On the other side of that point, I’ve never had a beer because I would never drink something that I could not get past my nose.

6. One of my favourite inspirations is a random act of kindness – the surprise on someone’s face following Random Acts of kindness is the best!

7. I believe a good cry is good for the soul and I know all the movies that will help the process.

8. My heart enjoys tricking my body into believing its younger than it is.

9. My favourite advice for stressful situations is ” Don’t panic!”

10. I think everyone has something special to share that helps make the world intriguing.

I’m happy to share my SUNSHINE BLOGGER AWARD nominations…

1. Twin Sane Asylum

2. Girl on the Contrary

3. KBT

4. Morning Story and Dilbert

5. The Happsters

6. Carmen

7. Daughter By Design

8. Meanwhile Melody Muses

9. Pages of Grace

10. Project Light of Life

THANK YOU to each of these bloggers for spreading the SUNSHINE. Mary, thank you again for nomination for this sunny award 🙂

Keep Shining everyone!


4 ways to make the most of desire and ensure the benefits outweigh the dangers

DSCF9441 the garden stroll last night was beautiful. the sky blazed with color. the air was crisp and cool. the mist began to kiss the ground.

as they strolled, Adam explained his decisions of the day. the Creator was amused by the names and laughed.

she shared the contents of her heart. He hugged her thanking her for the honesty and warmth. she didn’t want Him to go. where did He go anyway? how did He fill his day? her curiosity was stronger today.

in the tree groves yesterday, she noticed that many of the trees had produced well and she decided to gather some delights for a special feast. as she gathered, she tasted. sweet, sour, tangy, soft, crunchy, hard, creamy…she was having a fabulous time. she couldn’t wait to share this experience with her husband. she imagined the delight on his face as he partook of the delights she would present.

“what about these?” she knew that voice.

where was he? she glanced around but went on gathering because she hadn’t noticed him perched high among the branches.

“why aren’t you collecting these? aren’t they beautiful? i think these would be perfect.” 024 then she saw him. long and lean bathing in the warm sunshine. galiently posed.

(it is here that i wonder how a conversation could have taken place. perhaps there was communication between all living creatures because she does not appear to be surprised at his approach.)

“they are magnificent, true. not those. those belong to the creator. they are His alone.”

“why is that? why would He withhold them from you? i’ve seen how happy He is with the two of you. He wouldn’t mind. surely not.”

“it’s a special tree. He has said that if we ever eat from it we will die.”

“die? what does “die” mean?”

“i’m not sure but the answer is no. we don’t eat the fruit of that tree.”

“really? look at how beautiful it is. what could be the harm? how would He even know?”

“apparently, it provides knowledge between good and evil.”

“and He doesn’t want you to have that? why? would it make you like Him? I thought He created you like Him? why would He not want you to have this “knowledge” He has? doesn’t make sense to me.”

” i don’t know. Adam is certain and has told me not to even touch it.”

“don’t touch it? well, i’ve touched it. i’m sitting in it and nothing has happened to me. in fact, the blossoms smell devine. the scent is much sweeter than the other trees. come here, smell.” DSCF0911 he was right.

the aroma filled her nostrils and the sensations was not like any other plant in the garden. in fact, the fruit was beautiful, brilliant and colourful. she had been so concerned about not going near the tree that she had not considered how truly desirable it was.

she was considering it now.

it was pleasing in every way.

she wondered…

the snake is actually sitting in the tree…would she be fine as well? surely, if she touched it but didn’t eat it…what could be the harm?

she reached.

it was amazing. not only was it beautiful but the texture was smooth and soft.

she smelled it again. that smell ignited something inside her. her mouth watered with desire.

“it must be sweet and succulent. but no.” she released the fruit and turned away.

“i can’t.”

“of course, you can. look, i touched the tree and i’m fine. you touched it. nothing happened. maybe you misunderstood.”

something had happened. she had never given much thought to this tree, its fruit or the instruction. yet, now something inside her desired to taste it. the smell of the blossoms and the brilliant colors were inviting. this feeling was strong. she had never felt like this before.

terrified…she dropped her bounty and ran. something felt very different.

she ran to sit among the flowers. they were beautiful and aromatic. she needed to think.

why? why would He not want us to have this fruit? she felt confused. she had never felt like this before. DSCF0926 she sat thinking of the moments at the tree.

she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

her mind felt clearer when she awoke.

it was getting late and she needed to gather the bounty she had dropped. her husband would be returning soon.

when she saw Adam coming, she waved him over to the feast she had prepared. she was right, he seemed pleased by the spread of beautiful fruits, berries and delights she had collected from the garden.

“the garden is producing bountifully. i think the Creator will be pleased. everything is multiplying so well. do you think He will be pleased?”

“of course, He will.”

“the blossoms on the tree in the centre of the garden smell so different than the other trees. the fruit is so full. shouldn’t we gather some for the Creator?”

“no! do not go near that tree! it is very important to Him that we leave it alone.”

“why? i don’t see the harm.”

“it’s the only thing He has asked us not to do. it doesn’t matter why.”

that answer only made her more curious. she didn’t like it. 20131101-214031.jpg as the days went by, her questions increased.

her feelings were changing as well.

she felt a strong tug for what she could not have.

her heart was somehow not as content.

she compared the fruit she could have to what she could not.

it caused her to want it more.

desire was building.

and what was this knowledge that the Creator was keeping to Himself?

maybe she needed it as well.

why was it good for Him but not her?

was there a reason?


desire gets us all fired up.

there are some benefits to desire…of course, there are!

for the sake of desire:

we will complete challenging goals,

chase our dreams,

and work hard for what we want.

there are also some dangers:

desire can trick us into believing that what we want will bring full happiness. happiness comes from within and not everything that we think will bring happiness, will.

desire can cause us to throw caution to the wind. we can tend to disregard our own values and life standards, make irresponsible choices, forget common sense and wisdom.

desire can drive us without resulting in satisfaction. many addictions work this way. the desire becomes so overwhelming that we succumb  but are left disappointed.

so, how do we make the most of desire to ensure the benefits outweigh the dangers?

1. allow desire to motive you but be realistic about the end goal and the amount of satisfaction that will result. is it more about the pursuit than obtaining it?

2. step back and make a realistic assessment of your desire and what you hope to achieve. assess if obtaining the object of your desire truly fits into your goals overall.

3. remind yourself that some of the most satisfying feelings do not come from getting but from giving.

4. remember where true joy and satisfaction comes from…it is rarely from what you can obtain…it’s a matter of the heart.

most of us love the “thrill of the chase”…

we need to make sure that what we “catch” is really worthwhile.

i hope you have a great start to your week.







the imagery of acceptance and inner peace

2013-07-25 14.54.07she woke from the most peaceful sleep. she lay in such a calm euphoric state. she could feel the warmth of the sun on her face which reminded her of how warm and secure her heart felt.

she had questions about this place and how she had come to live here. for the moment she would not focus on them. she was seizing the moment. she was in paradise and every part of her being soared with happiness.

Eden was magnificent and majestic. everywhere her eyes gazed there was beauty. being surrounded by such beauty satisfied something deep in her heart. at times, she felt as though she could breathe in the deep satisfaction as if it were life to her soul. it was soothing, gratifying.

her tummy rumbled drawing her attention to the reality that there were things to do. first, food. her body signalled the need for nourishment.

2013-07-25 14.54.54she opened her eyes and realized her husband was already away. his day had already begun. she wondered where he might be. the most probable answer would be that he was exploring. he was in charge of finding new creatures among the garden and deciding what they would be called. she and her husband were different somehow than everything else that lived in this place. the creatures that shared her home fascinated her.

as she strolled through the garden, a butterfly lit on her shoulder. “good morning, butterfly. it’s a glorious morning!”2013-07-25 15.27.11

it fluttered its wings in delight. she instinctively knew it was as delighted as she.

suddenly a bumble bee whizzed past her head. “that’s exactly what i’ll eat…honey,” she thought. her steps hastened toward the grove of trees where she could collect the sweet nectar.

she dipped her finger into the honeycomb and drew the liquid to her lips. the sensation thrilled her tongue. the bees parted as if to make way for her to enjoy their produce, all the while continuing their busy production. “nice job, guys! the honey is beautiful and sweet.” they gathered in formation and swarmed into the air. they swirled and twirled in appreciation of her praise. she giggled at the performance and chided, “i’ll get out of your way so you can get back to work”. they dropped back onto the honeycomb and resumed their task.2013-07-25 15.12.45

everything was in harmony. one thing assisting the next. her questions resurfaced. “what was this place and how did i get here?” she was curious.

she would ask her husband and the Creator to tell her the story again as they strolled the garden when sun began to sink in the sky.

she turned with a plan to find Adam. she smiled.

her heart was full of gratitude and appreciation. she would explain this to the Creator…He might enjoy hearing what her heart was feeling.


i can only imagine what filled her heart. i do know that my heart is filled with gratitude on the calm, peace filled days when my heart attains the same joy. the place of harmony within my being. i cherish those days when they come and my heart is filled with gratitude.

although in my story i took a creative privilege to imagine her life, i know that it is not an unattainable fairy tale. i know that when i have been diligent to face the negative situations with courage and Wisdom, my heart can attain this state of peace and well-being. it is not “never-land”. i am accepted and loved by my Creator. i can accept the person i am meant to be – flaws and all – and live enriched in my journey. i understand the places that help me grow are sometimes difficult to face. life is not a paradise (as we all know) but it is worth living fully and joyfully, come what may.

acceptance is important to me. it feels like i have described it above. the foundation for my acceptance exists in a harmony of hearts – mine joined with my Creator and then outstretched.

not all days are like this. i know all to well. you will, too. Eve experienced. join me as i explore the steps she may have taken and decisions she made that brought pain to her heart. i suspect, they are not much different than ours. curiosity, jealousy, desire, comparison and doubt are a common theme for heading down a painful road. it feels like we walk alone, at times, but the road is not all that different to the one before us. the pain is familiar, too – rejection, loss, disappointment, shame and regret.

the pain is not the end. there is healing and acceptance waiting…

Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden

Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

have a great weekend,


i would like to give special thanks to my sister, Evie Hartness, for the permission to use her photos.

the search for acceptance

Acceptance is a core need that we all share. we can go to extreme lengths to be accepted by those around us.

what’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done in an attempt to be accepted by a person or group?

orientation or pledge week at most university campuses provides many entertaining examples.
politicians campaign for the public’s acceptance of their leadership.

we apply for jobs in pursuit of acceptance of our gifts and skills.

and we woman, my goodness the numerous tactics we have applied to be accepted can be mind blowing.

why do we do it? i believe it’s a search for significance.

to gain an understanding of why this search is so important to you and i, we should consider:

why are you here? on earth, I mean?

were you born to be a mother, a successful business person, a musician, a minister? all are noble jobs. were you born to do jobs?

do you have children? did you have them so they could take on the jobs you don’t like to do? was that your motivation for bringing them into your life? no, it wasn’t, was it? would you be satisfied if that was the only purpose for having your children in your life?

are you satisfied in thinking that the reason you exist is for the work or job you do? what happens if that job ends; the kids grow up, you are fired from the business you love, an accident prevents you sharing your skill/talent or your ministry/career is not all you envisioned it to be? often in such cases, we struggle with our purpose and self worth?

intuitively our being cries out for more than that.

how could we ever find peace in the thought that this was it, bang we’re here, do a bit of work while you are here and smack – when’s it’s over, it’s over? nothing else?

the verses in Genesis 1 say we were created out of a deep desire for relationship. the Creator did not have jobs in mind for us when He created us. He made us in His image; therefore, we feel, think, understand, create, have wisdom, process facts and knowledge, show emotion, plan, reason, experience and set and attain goals. being who He is, He then is the source of these things in our lives.

we learn our significance in the context of relationship. all of creation is created with relationship in mind including nature. everything has an interrelation. i hate insects yet insects play an important role in the balance and growth in a garden.

another example is music. a single note is nice but put three notes together as a chord and there is a beautiful harmony.

nothing was designed for isolation. i think that is why isolation and rejection are such destructive wounds.

faith is important in the pursuit of acceptance. the relationship with the Creator was intended to keep us full (fulfilled). our needs can only be met in the context of relationship; firstly with God as the source then others as a resource.

others, although you love and adore them, are broken just as you are. therefore, if you turn your eyes from looking at the source (God, The Father) toward others to fulfil your needs, what is reflected back is not true intimacy, acceptance, value and belonging. you actually get a reflection of their brokenness, their lack of wholeness.

this is how we get hurt and wounded. If you look into the eyes of a depressed or drunken friend, spouse or family member and hope that they can reflect to you the value you are looking for, you will only find pain. They don’t have it to reflect back to you. they may give it their best shot but you may find some disappointments.

remember, i talked previously about the three parts of our being: body, soul and spirit. your body’s needs must be met with the appropriate elements (food, water, oxygen) – you can’t just use your thoughts to think of food and stay healthy. your spirit requires faith, hope, reverence, worship and truth for well-being. with the proper nourishing & relationship with your Creator, your spirit receives the acceptance, value and sense of belonging it longs for. this provides a proper foundation for self-acceptance so that in turn you can build stronger relationships with others.

step one in attaining acceptance is to recognise what true acceptance looks like (head for wisdom & Truth) and where to find it. secondly, when we get a true reflection, we can then accept ourselves. when we truly accept ourselves, we can learn to graciously accept others.

when we are broken hearted, we tend to reflect that brokenness to those around us. sad but true. we can learn how to gain acceptance…then give it…

everyone has a redeeming quality that we can accept and love…


Acceptance is seeing with your heart not your eyes


An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo.

Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. “You’ve got so many freckles, there’s no place to paint!” a girl in the line said to the little fella.

Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. “I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles,” she said, while tracing her finger across the child’s cheek. “Freckles are beautiful.”

The boy looked up, “Really?”

“Of course,” said the grandmother. “Why just name me one thing that’s prettier than freckles.”

The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma’s face and softly whispered, “Wrinkles.”

-writer unknown

acceptance is one of three core motivations for many of our behaviours. join me this week as we look at accepting ourselves, dealing with rejection and understanding how acceptance/rejection issues motivate our behaviours.

see you soon,