Do you realize that many of our reactions to situations are caused by our fear? Fear of being vulnerable in our imperfections. Fear of losing. Fear of being alone. And many other fears. The sources of those fears are … Continue reading
Tag Archives: fear
4 Tips To Help You Express Yourself
What is expression? It’s the art of making one’s self known. Continue reading
you mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger
dream…dream, dream, dream…dream
dreaming is the starting point of achieving your goal.
if it never occurs to you that they can do it, you won’t try.
when you begin to dream big dreams, you begin to change the way you see yourself and your life.
you begin to do different things.
until the whole direction of your life changes for the better.
dreaming bigger dreams is the starting point.
allowing yourself to dream bigger raises your self-esteem, your self-respect and increases your self-confidence. thus increasing your happiness.
dreams and visions stimulate you to do better than you ever have before.
this is important because the gifts and skills that you were created with are more than enough to make your dreams come true.
think about how we describe a genius.
a math genius seems to effortlessly work with math figures and formulas.
a music genius plays or sings music as naturally as they breath.
what are you a genius at doing?
“who me? i’m no genius?”
what do you do that seems almost second nature to you?
do you have an eye for detail, a great sense of humor, a nurturing side, the ability to focus intently, or being playful.
this is your genius. those things that come easily and profoundly, without needing to expend a lot of energy.
recognize the genius in yourself…are you a genius mother, teacher, listener, confidant, manager, organizer, or factory worker?
there are many, many who have never been called “genius” who serve in genius ways.
those “gifts” are the resources you need to make your dreams come true!
they were given to you by design.
you mustn’t be afraid to dream…
dream a little bigger.
it’s a great place to start.
do it today…get started!
the path fear follows
and the unpredictable…the what “if”s…maybe “i can’t”s…the different…
all strike a chord of fear deep in the heart.
this chord sings out that we are helplessness…that our dreams, our future and even our very survival is under threat.
illusive threats pierce through our hopes and frustration sets in.
frustration is enraging; igniting the fiery emotion…anger.
anger is powerful, swift and blinds the heart to reason. anger causes us to want to fight leading us to aggressive behaviours.
but anger must have fuel…it will fizzle with time…and hatred is the fuel that keeps anger burning.
i have found that hate is like cancer. if unattended, it grows deep roots within the heart crowding out love.
hatred alienates us from each other. the heart, dark with hatred, closes in on itself and is no longer capable of fully opening up to embrace love of any kind.
withdrawal from love causes suffering which takes many forms; unforgiveness, regret, discontent, resentment and apathy.
suffering places us back to the unknown, thus reverting to fear…the cycle continues.
we fear a broken heart…
when we fear having our heart broken, it’s not so much about the pain as it is the thought that if broken we can never be whole again.
the anger begins with someone who has broken our heart in the past but swiftly moves toward hatred of potential heart breakers. a closed, isolated heart suffers in loneliness…fearing it will never find it’s deepest desire again.
we fear each other…
we fear that as we observe another person’s creativity (sometimes their very “being”) that there will be no room left for who we are or what we have to give.
fear is birthed in our thoughts and we must be courageous enough to look at it head on…sometimes shaking in our boots…and render it powerless. we must strip fear of it’s power before it takes root.
fear is a lie.
truth, love and hope know no fear…
they blossom in the heart making no room for fear to reside.
how to overcome the fear of failure
Be the light in the darkness
do you remember, as a kid, lying in bed and shaking in your boots because the room was pitch black?
if mom or dad would come in and turn in the light…all was well!
even a small night light would dispel the darkness to settle the fright.
well, sometimes, the world looks dark and frightening.
but there is Light!
if that Light shines brightly from your heart…
darkness, fear and panic can not remain.
let the Light shine!
the #1 way to drive out the fear rejection
does that feel like i’ve suggested that you cut your arm off?
to be honest, sometimes it does. fear is such a paralysing force. our head says, “yes, i agree. that is an amazing principle to live by. i’m inspired. yes, i will give acceptance. I will then reap what i sow.”
Then, maybe even before you finish reading this post, “bam” someone is all rude, annoying and another inspiration comes to mind…something about letting someone have it, right in the face.
we have good intentions. we do.
it’s not about trying to be good. it’s not about ignoring poor behaviours. it’s not about trusting the other person not to ever hurt you.
why do we fear rejection and withhold acceptance?
I can hear someone saying, “because i keep getting rejected! And…(no) AND…i accept others and they just do not respond.”
i’m not talking about sowing acceptance until the next difficult person comes along…i’m talking about commitment to a value with a determined heart not to back down or compromise.
making a commitment that leaves no wiggle room for backing out.
i can feel the squirms. how? because i’m looking in my heart and i feel them there, too, sometimes. “yes, but what if…?” that’s the fear of rejection. “And if it doesn’t work…?” fear.
the law of sowing and reaping (an equivalent result for your action; what goes around comes around) works. period. it’s a law the produces every time. whether we believe it or not.
again, i can hear, “yeah, well, it hasn’t worked for me!”
look at how i’ve worded it concerning actions…an equivalent result for what you do.
if you or i decide to put acceptance and love into action:
1. it takes courage
2. it takes faith (to even attempt what
doesn’t feel natural or logical).
3. it takes action…consistent
action…not one time or only when it’s
convenient…(this is how sowing is
4. it takes a lifetime commitment (not a
season, or once in a while…the
“time” component is all the time,
every time, always, forever, never
5. it takes harvesting/reaping…even this
is an action word. when the subject
is love and acceptance…i think the
first harvest has to come from our
own heart. otherwise, we give up at
the first sign of rejection, difficulty or
the squirms, wiggles and non-commitment come because we like to have a back up plan…in case, plan A doesn’t work or doesn’t work quickly enough.
therefore, acceptance with wiggle room looks like this:
“i sow acceptance…
as long as…
you are mostly just like me. i’m most comfortable with my thoughts, belief, opinions, way of doing things, & choices. are we clear?
good then i can accept you…
…if not, we have a problem.”
most of the population will reach for the easiest options.
people who are determined not to live mediocre lives and want success, are not afraid of tough choices, risks and the hard work required to achieve their goals…in this case, “getting rid of the fear of rejection by giving acceptance”…and making the law of sowing and reaping acceptance a non-negotiable part of their emotional well-being life plan.
so, what exactly are we accepting so unconditionally? certainly not every action.
we are accepting each other’s undeniable value and their right to respect for the person -they, we, you, I-were designed to be. allowing them to walk their own path, make their own changes and grow at their own pace.
truly, the quickest way to no longer fear rejection is to give acceptance.
it’s worth pondering.
be the thing fear is afraid of
the heart’s faith battles the minds fear
i’m lying here with sleep evading me. visions of my life with my daddy passing through the halls of my mind.
my heart and my mind battling between faith and fear.
i wrote not many days back that life brings sudden changes and that a wise life plan includes a trauma plan. i have many yet from time to time I come face to face with the reminder that i’m not as prepared as i imagined.
today is one of those days.
i called to wish my daddy well as he prepared for heart surgery. the prep work was complete. great! except, my heart had not really conceived an idea close to the prep my daddy had put into place. my contemplations had included well prepared surgeons, physical checks, accommodations, travel and the like. simple little details to check from a well prepared list. everything in order & well organised is a normal expectation from this meticulously detailed man.
i am 10,000 miles away. i expected to feel a tinge of home sickness as this day approached. i was right about that.
the further preparations, that stunned my heart today, were the “good byes”. the “i’m proud to have been your daddy”. what? wait! no, hang on a minute…
i am a strong believer in faith, staying positive, believing it all goes well…and i’m accustomed to encouraging others to cling to the hopeful side of situations.
although my dad is ageing, i really have not prepared myself for “good-byes”. after all, remember my heart still thinks it’s 18 years old; therefore, it’s not entertaining the reality of my daddy’s age and the need for good-byes.
the stark truth – that his preparations included coming to grips with a risky procedure that might go wrong – placed my heart face to face with a possibility of loss.
i have been scrambling through my mental trauma plan file. i have thought through many types of losses; job loss, relationship loss, business loss, loss of aunts, uncles, grandparents, and fiancé…but nothing that involved my parents.
i learned, after my fiancé’s death, the importance of not shutting someone down when they speak of death-Craig actually had a dream about the car accident two weeks prior to its occurrence with accurate details.
so, while i was unwilling to accept that i was having a final conversation today, we exchanged tender moments, words and tears.
i choose to hold tightly tonight to my faith and believe – for wisdom and a steady hand for the surgeon. i fully expect to hear that my dad came through with flying colours.
i know that loss is one of the deepest wounds we experience. the process of grief is painful. loss of a career, health, relationship, reputation and of loved ones can all trigger changes to life that are painful adjustments.
maybe, we’ll look at walking toward emotional healing after loss in the near future. after i’ve had some sleep and my daddy is recovering well.
for tonight, i’m urging my heart’s faith to win the battle over my mind’s fear by remaining positive…whispering a prayer…remembering that my daddy (& momma) taught me by example to have courage, never give up & trust that there is always a Divine plan. things will work out just as they should.
life is a journey. today, i felt a little shaky in my steps but i’m still walking. there are days like these…but there is also a promise that…
Joy comes in the morning!
stay strong. be encouraged. never give up!!
thanks for sharing a few moments of your day!
there is always a way when problems feel too big
i had never known such terror as i felt that day standing in front of the Red Sea. my body physically trembled and i could not prevent it.
i loved this man of mine but at that moment i wondered if he had lost his mind. everything in me wanted to scream ,”what are we going to do? they’re coming. there’s no place to go!” the words wouldn’t come because every part of my being felt paralysed. the army was closing in. so many horses and chariots. slaughter was certain. no weapons and no way of escape. only the expanse of the sea before me and the longing of my heart for home.
it wasn’t home exactly but it was where my husband’s heart longed to be. there he was sure he could make his dream come true -freedom. even the cruelty of the masters seemed more comforting than standing here waiting for my family and our people to be destroyed. my heart had not even fully finished celebrating the freedom we had longed for…begged for…prayed for. now this.
he just stood there calmly, as if he couldn’t hear the screams of terror from the crowd. he had been so sure in his heart that “this” was his reason for existence. he had never been so sure of anything in all of his life. i simply followed because my heart so completely trusted that magnificent man. it may cost me my life, this burning love of mine, it may now cost me my life.
he stood for so long. silent. his face turned to heaven. peaceful. i just did not understand. the closer the enemy got…the thicker the cloud of dust, the less I could breath as if the fear where choking me.
i whispered, “what are we going to do?”
he simply replied, “deliverance is promised. He will make a way.”
how? how would there be way. there was no way out…only the sea ahead, certain death behind…how would he make a way?
he stepped behind me and stood upon the slippery rocks. I couldn’t hear his words but i’m certain he was praying.
then he lifted his staff. strange things happened when he took that stick in his hand. he raised it high and as the waves crashed against the rock, he lowered it.
i heard the pace of the army slow…astonishment filled the air. i closed my eyes and slowly opened them just in case i was dreaming. I wasn’t.
the way to safety was before us. i wouldn’t have believed it had i not been standing right there. where there was no way just moments before…though fear had almost consumed me…when my future was all but ended…
he climbed down from that rock, came- took my hand, and smiled as he said, “I told you, deliverance was promised. there had to be a way.” together we stepped out onto to the pathway…we were free.
…when your heart is sure there is no way out…believe me,help is always near!