does that feel like i’ve suggested that you cut your arm off?
to be honest, sometimes it does. fear is such a paralysing force. our head says, “yes, i agree. that is an amazing principle to live by. i’m inspired. yes, i will give acceptance. I will then reap what i sow.”
Then, maybe even before you finish reading this post, “bam” someone is all rude, annoying and another inspiration comes to mind…something about letting someone have it, right in the face.
we have good intentions. we do.
it’s not about trying to be good. it’s not about ignoring poor behaviours. it’s not about trusting the other person not to ever hurt you.
why do we fear rejection and withhold acceptance?
I can hear someone saying, “because i keep getting rejected! And…(no) AND…i accept others and they just do not respond.”
i’m not talking about sowing acceptance until the next difficult person comes along…i’m talking about commitment to a value with a determined heart not to back down or compromise.
making a commitment that leaves no wiggle room for backing out.
i can feel the squirms. how? because i’m looking in my heart and i feel them there, too, sometimes. “yes, but what if…?” that’s the fear of rejection. “And if it doesn’t work…?” fear.
the law of sowing and reaping (an equivalent result for your action; what goes around comes around) works. period. it’s a law the produces every time. whether we believe it or not.
again, i can hear, “yeah, well, it hasn’t worked for me!”
look at how i’ve worded it concerning actions…an equivalent result for what you do.
if you or i decide to put acceptance and love into action:
1. it takes courage
2. it takes faith (to even attempt what
doesn’t feel natural or logical).
3. it takes action…consistent
action…not one time or only when it’s
convenient…(this is how sowing is
4. it takes a lifetime commitment (not a
season, or once in a while…the
“time” component is all the time,
every time, always, forever, never
5. it takes harvesting/reaping…even this
is an action word. when the subject
is love and acceptance…i think the
first harvest has to come from our
own heart. otherwise, we give up at
the first sign of rejection, difficulty or
the squirms, wiggles and non-commitment come because we like to have a back up plan…in case, plan A doesn’t work or doesn’t work quickly enough.
therefore, acceptance with wiggle room looks like this:
“i sow acceptance…
as long as…
you are mostly just like me. i’m most comfortable with my thoughts, belief, opinions, way of doing things, & choices. are we clear?
good then i can accept you…
…if not, we have a problem.”
most of the population will reach for the easiest options.
people who are determined not to live mediocre lives and want success, are not afraid of tough choices, risks and the hard work required to achieve their goals…in this case, “getting rid of the fear of rejection by giving acceptance”…and making the law of sowing and reaping acceptance a non-negotiable part of their emotional well-being life plan.
so, what exactly are we accepting so unconditionally? certainly not every action.
we are accepting each other’s undeniable value and their right to respect for the person -they, we, you, I-were designed to be. allowing them to walk their own path, make their own changes and grow at their own pace.
truly, the quickest way to no longer fear rejection is to give acceptance.
it’s worth pondering.