An Important Key For Braving Trust

“Trust is the fundamental base line of any relationship which is always under threat. When we get trust right then we get durable fruit in relationships.” -Daniel Kent

My friend, Daniel, sent me this text yesterday following a teaching session I did on trust.

Have you ever told someone, “I can’t trust you?”

Have you ever said, “I’ll never trust anyone again?”

Contrary to what many of us think, trust is not as difficult as we think, if we have the right tools.

I think an important tool in any relationship is to understand who to trust with what when dealing with issues of trust.

Everyone one can be trusted with something. But no one can be trusted with everything.

Braving connection by sharing what is important to us requires that we not give a friend more than they are able to handle safely.

Trust is like a heavy weight. I would have a difficult time lifting a 40 pound dumb bell (I should probably stick to 2-10 pound weights). Now, my body building brother might lift that weight effortlessly.

I am not built to lift that much weight at the moment but I might be able to work up to it. If not, it’s unsafe for me to expect myself to handle that amount of weight. It’s too heavy for me.

In the same way, not everyone is equipped to handle the weight of what I might want to trust them with.

Does that mean he/she is untrustworthy? I don’t think so. 

For instance, even though someone may not be able to share that their marriage is failing with one of their friends does not mean that that friend can not be trusted at all. 

There will be something that can be entrusted to them. It might be as simple as details of the day or joys experienced.

Connecting in this way -with non-judgement about what a friend can bear- keeps both of the friends safe in the relationship. Both are less likely to betray or feel betrayed and walk away from a relationship that is important to them.
Sharing the weightier issues must be done with someone capable of sustaining the weight like a Counselor, confident, BFF or husband.
Each relationship has a trust weight bearing limit. 

Do you know yours?

Trust That Life Is As It Should Be

Every part of today is a lesson that has the potential to improve your life.




4 ways to improve dependability as a friendship

20130824-214038.jpgit is important to understand that when we give our word to a friend, they depend on us to be reliable. they trust us to follow through with what we commit to do. most often, they will not truly know if they can depend upon our offer until they really need it…

how refreshing to the heart to realize there is a friend they can count on.

to improve dependability as a friend:

1. do not offer help out of emotion. although your heart may be sympathetic, emotion alone is not the best motivation for making an offer you may be unable to follow through with.
2. count the cost before giving your word. your friend will respect honesty.
3. listen. often, your friend needs a safe, caring place to share -they may not need you to do anything more than “listen” to their heart.
4. follow through to the best of your ability.

it truly is refreshing to have a friend you can rely on when you need them…it is also refreshing to be that friend when necessary.

do you have a friend that you have been able to depend on? might be a great time to let them know they are appreciated…

thank you, friends, for being faithful readers!

trust is a precious gift

when someone shares their heart with you, that trust is a precious gift. show gratitude and be trustworthy. they are telling you they feel safe with your heart…that is marvellous.

there is always a way when problems feel too big


i had never known such terror as i felt that day standing in front of the Red Sea. my body physically trembled and i could not prevent it.

i loved this man of mine but at that moment i wondered if he had lost his mind. everything in me wanted to scream ,”what are we going to do? they’re coming. there’s no place to go!” the words wouldn’t come because every part of my being felt paralysed. the army was closing in. so many horses and chariots. slaughter was certain. no weapons and no way of escape. only the expanse of the sea before me and the longing of my heart for home.

it wasn’t home exactly but it was where my husband’s heart longed to be. there he was sure he could make his dream come true -freedom. even the cruelty of the masters seemed more comforting than standing here waiting for my family and our people to be destroyed. my heart had not even fully finished celebrating the freedom we had longed for…begged for…prayed for. now this.

he just stood there calmly, as if he couldn’t hear the screams of terror from the crowd. he had been so sure in his heart that “this” was his reason for existence. he had never been so sure of anything in all of his life. i simply followed because my heart so completely trusted that magnificent man. it may cost me my life, this burning love of mine, it may now cost me my life.

he stood for so long. silent. his face turned to heaven. peaceful. i just did not understand. the closer the enemy got…the thicker the cloud of dust, the less I could breath as if the fear where choking me.

i whispered, “what are we going to do?”

he simply replied, “deliverance is promised. He will make a way.”

how? how would there be way. there was no way out…only the sea ahead, certain death behind…how would he make a way?

he stepped behind me and stood upon the slippery rocks. I couldn’t hear his words but i’m certain he was praying.
then he lifted his staff. strange things happened when he took that stick in his hand. he raised it high and as the waves crashed against the rock, he lowered it.

i heard the pace of the army slow…astonishment filled the air. i closed my eyes and slowly opened them just in case i was dreaming. I wasn’t.

the way to safety was before us. i wouldn’t have believed it had i not been standing right there. where there was no way just moments before…though fear had almost consumed me…when my future was all but ended…

he climbed down from that rock, came- took my hand, and smiled as he said, “I told you, deliverance was promised. there had to be a way.” together we stepped out onto to the pathway…we were free.

…when your heart is sure there is no way out…believe me,help is always near!