We Are Learning As We Go 


Yeah, the good old days for me are what they are. But at this stage in my life, I am happy to leave them in the past. All the good, the bad and the ugly. All the triumphs and mistakes alike.


I’ve made my share. Haven’t you?

I think it’s understandable because none of us have done this before. It’s all new. 

All brand new. 

Each day, each step.

And because we are experiencing a lifetime of firsts, we are in a constant state of learning.

Like students, life students.

And students are not masters. They make mistakes. 

But we’re all doing our best because that’s what good students do.

We might have to do a few re-do’s or retake a test or two.

Give yourself a break. Relax. Be kind to YOU. 

You’re doing your best.

Keep learning.

It’s all useful on your life journey.

This Is Your Journey To Walk Your Way

My son is in college and beginning the process of making huge life decisions. He has dreams in his heart for how he wants to travel his journey. His journey looks completely different than mine. And I’m fine with that. He worried that his family would be ashamed of him or disappointed in him. I want him to know that there is wisdom to follow along the way but he must be free to walk this journey in a way that will bring him happiness and fulfilment.

No one can walk our journey for us.

We must walk the path of our purpose without fear that it won’t meet the desire others have for us.

My hope for my children is that they walk in a safe and healthy way.

My hope is that they reach for wise counsel and guidance.

My hope is that they find what makes them happy.

My hope is that their journey is traveled in a meaningful way.

And my hope is that they walk confidently, unafraid and boldly.

A friend of mine recently preformed his daughter’s wedding. He told her that as her parents, he and her mother wanted to give her two things in life: roots and wings; a place to belong and wings to fly.

Allowing my children to spread their wings and fly is not always easy but it is one of the most rewarding parts of my journey.

And for you, it’s the same: This is your journey to walk your way.

Journey on, dear readers.

I would like to welcome a new contributing photographer. My cousin’s son, Jarek Bagley, took the photo featured in this blog today. I just l love the brilliant colors. Well done. Welcome, Jarek! Thank you for sharing your beautiful photo with me and my readers! You rock!

Tyler Perry’s Thoughts For The Day

(Photo credit: Wishbox)

I am a big Tyler Perry fan. Today on Tyler’s Facebook page he posted the following. I found it very inspiring and thought that my readers would to. I hope you enjoy and are encouraged to not “stay too long”!


I haven’t written in a while so this is a little long, but it’s so worth your time to read.

I was in Wyoming recently and I was taking in the beauty of the place. I mean, I love it. As I was looking up at the mountains I saw an eagle flying above me. I had to stop and take in its majestic beauty. I had never seen a real life eagle. All I had heard about an eagle was in church when the pastor said that the eagle pushes its young out of the nest to teach it to fly. It really did move me watching this bird that had no doubt been pushed out of the nest and had learned to do what I was watching it do.

I got back to the cabin that evening and I started doing some research on eagles. I was so excited to read the story of how it learned to fly. Well, to my surprise, eagles pushing their young out of the nest is a myth. I was shocked. I know that I heard a preacher say that in church… now I ain’t gonna say that that pastor lied but I will say he didn’t do the research… LOL. So I did it on my own. I did find some interesting facts that got me thinking about life… mine and yours. It’s funny how God can speak through everything. Here’s what I found.

Eagles build the biggest nest of all birds. It’s huge, comfortable and deep. One of the most interesting things that I found was the way that the eagle gets its young chicks to fly out of the nest. For many weeks it brings food to the nest. The little eagles have no worries, they have all they need to survive. But when the adult eagle deems that it’s time for the young eagles to fly, things get uncomfortable.

Now the young eagle doesn’t know that it’s time to fly, but the wisdom and the bird’s eye view of the mother knows that it’s time for the chicks to leave the nest. So you know what she does? She doesn’t bring food to the babies anymore, and this is what I found fascinating. Many times she will fly around the nest with the food in her beak so that the young eagles will be tempted or so hungry that they are forced to fly out of the nest and take it out of her beak. Stay with me I’m going somewhere here.

As I thought about this, I thought about my life and how many times I was in a very comfortable space. I had all I needed. There was no need for me to go any further because I was comortable. I wanted to stay there forever. You have to be careful when you get comfortable and stay too long. It’s easy to stop dreaming when your belly is full. You won’t feel the need to fly at all.

The truth is, as long as I was there in that really comfortable space, I wasn’t fulfilling my own destiny or my purpose. I wasn’t flying, I was content. Remember this, your greatest prayers are not usually answered in comfort. Think about it. I can really get deep into this with stories from my past but you’re probably tired of reading already… LOL… so I’ll try and wrap it up.

It took an uncomfortable situation or being hungry to make me get out and fly. Many times in life things are going well, but then everything that was so great changes and we wonder why. We wonder what happened. We are caught off guard. I am of the opinion that in those times God, who knows when it’s time for us to leave the nest, is allowing it to become uncomfortable so that we can move on to our next mission in life. Our next hope, our next dream, our next level.

After not realizing this for many years and resisting changes and going through hell, I’m glad to say that I have become so sensitive to when it’s time to move that I will move without having to have the turmoil. I’m telling you I was so stubborn that the house had to burn down for me to move. Now I know better. I’m aware of when it starts to happen, like things happen that don’t make any sense. People you have been friends with or in business with or otherwise for years just seem to go crazy and you don’t know why. What I’ve learned in those moments is that it is a time to fly. Business changes, jobs go away, friends break your heart, marriages end, relationships end, and most times all these things are signs that it’s time to take flight to your next level.

Nobody likes change, I get it, but don’t be angry or bitter when things change. Don’t be mad with people, especially when you know you did right by them and you did all you could do for the friendship or relationship. I’m sorry to tell you this my friend, but this moment was not about them it was all about you. I’m telling you if God has allowed you to become so uncomfortable in your situation, whatever it is, then its time for you to move! Don’t be afraid, just fly!

Last thing and then I’m done . there is one part of the eagle story that I haven’t told you yet, and this is my favorite part. If those baby eagles get out of the nest and they are trying to fly and it’s not going well, then that same mother bird that provided for them while they were in the nest, that same eagle will fly under the baby eagle to keep it from falling, to keep it on course, and give it a sense of security. God’s got you, don’t be afraid! He won’t let you fall!

Now here’s the question: what situation in your life has become so uncomfortable that you feel like you’re being starved for what you need? Maybe its God’s way of telling you it’s time to fly! It’s time to fly for your own dreams and your own hopes and goals. Fly for true love and real hope. This is your moment to fly, in 2014. Make this the year that you leave the nest without fear.

10 facts about your primary gift


the holidays are finished and we are already full steam ahead into the new year. mine has already been busy and productive.

all of my Christmas decorations are down and packed away until next Christmas -which i am sure will arrive before i blink twice.

i have de-cluttered every room in my house so that everything has a place and everything is in it’s place or at least can easily be returned there.

at work, we are busy little bees as our juvenile stock grow like little weeds. i truly enjoy watching living things develop and grow.

on a personal note, i am attending to the few extra pounds by doing a refresher course on the Dukan Diet.

little by little, i am making progress and keeping up my momentum on my journey.

the next step for me is to get back to sharing my heart with my readers.

since we have not long ago had a season of giving and receiving gifts and many people are looking at what they would like to accomplish in the new year, i decided today that we should look at recognising your primary gift.

Mike Murdock shares how we can discover the gifts, opportunities and relationships that are already in our life in his Laws of Life series.

i would like to share these 10 facts to help you better recognise what your primary gift is.

  1. everyone has gifts and there will be one that is dominant in your life.
  2.  not everyone recognises their primary gift; therefore, the opportunity to feel unrewarded or dissatisfied with life can present itself.
  3. although you  may see similarities to another person’s gift, your primary gift will be unique to you. there is no one like you in all the world and your gift is significant and important.
  4. your gift will help solve problems for those closest to you. The proverbs tell us, “Don’t withhold good when it is needed, when it is in the power of your hand to do it.”
  5. obsessing about your weakness will prevent you from seeing and appreciating your gift. China has the greatest ping-pong players in the world. once when the master mentors were asked how they handled the weaknesses of their proteges, they explained that they ignored them. they explained that if the dominate strength of the player received total focus, it would compensate for any weakness elsewhere in their form. it is not wise to rehearse and focus on the qualities in life that discourage us most.
  6. your gift will operate greater in challenging circumstances. fighters and boxers will often find more energy arise in them the greater the challenge they face.
  7. you must guard against letting what other people focus on concerning you deter you. sadly, relatives can sometimes focus on your weakness and we can adapt to it. we can begin to put too much focus on what others despise.
  8. admiring other people can create a desire to emulate their primary gift. you are unique…no one can be you and you are not meant to be someone else.
  9. what you would love to do everyday of your life is a good clue to recognising your primary gift. try this: if everyone in the world was only allowed to earn $10 per hour, what would you choose to do?
  10. your point of difference is what is significant about you and your gift. it is important to learn from those around us (remember, your gift will help solve problems for those closest to you…well, so will theirs help you). however, it is important to remember that your gift, your significance and difference are for a different purpose than anyone else’s. celebrate your difference!

David recognised that he was more than a psalmist or a shepherd. he was a warrior and he knew it! Israel once sang out that Saul had slain his thousand but David, his ten thousands.

Joseph was more than an interpreter of dreams. he had uncommon compassion. recognising the unhappiness of his cell mates was the catalyst to his ascent to ruling in Eygpt.

Paul was more than a thinker or talker…he was a revelator.

finding your most dominate gift will give greater significance, satisfaction and focus to your journey. focus all of your energy on it, not your weakness. if you give your full focus to developing your gift, it will compensate for your weakness.

i certainly hope that you have had a great start to the new year and i look forward to seeing you back here soon…for more insight from a woman’s heart.


The Journey of Friendship

there are many routes into a person’s heart

which makes you a treasured friend.

each act of kindness.

each moment shared.

each word of praise or comfort.

these are the ways-

the paths, which through time become highways, along which lie

the journey of friendship.
-Stuart and Linda McFarlane

Beginning Anew in 2014

deeclarknz.comisn’t it amazing how fresh a new start feels?

there can be a feeling of trepidation as well…but closing a chapter and beginning a new one offers new hope, new creativity and new opportunities.

i enjoyed 2013 and the journey i made through it. one thing i truly learned this year is accepting each step of the journey as being exactly what i have needed at the time, has helped me know that my life is right on track…even when it’s not a celebration.

i’m looking forward to this new journey.

we live in an amazing time in history.

we are blessed beyond many if our ancestors wildest dreams.

it’s great to be alive!

it’s great to be well and able to face any challenge!

it’s great to have opportunities sitting before me!

i am planning to live my journey to the full…

and my hope is that you will join me!

Happy New Year, readers!

make the most if every minute!


inquisitive minds…have to know

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as i venture along this journey of mine, i find it helpful to learn what other women have done that relate to what i might be going through at any given moment.

this is not unusual, really. many of us reach out to others during trying times for advice, grab someone to share what we have accomplished and learn from the successes and failures of others.

today, i was taking a look at Eve. you know, the first woman mentioned in the Bible. some of you may not believe she existed. you may think of her as a mythical character. even with that train of thought, many people look at fairy tales, myths, novels, etc. to find expressions and similarities of their own personalities, hopes dreams and creativity.

i tend to believe she was real. i believe in creation.

therefore, i like to think that i can discover important truths about myself and the way i was created by looking at her life.

she was first named ishah meaning woman. Adam named her. it was the job he was given…name the creatures within the garden. he chose this name because she was formed from a part of his being.

as i looked at her activity within the garden, these words stood out in my mind: explores, interrogates, decisive, independent, curious, tricked, victimized, felt victimized, trusting, tests boundaries, willingness to try something new, willingness to disobey, minimize consequences, desires the forbidden, and ability to effect major/impacting change.

i had to chuckle.

although, along my journey, my goal has been to discipline some of these attributes…i could relate!

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let me just say… to any gentleman who might be cheering at this moment and pointing even a jesting finger to say that he can relate because some female in his life shows many of these attributes and that Eve was the beginning of all of mankind’s problems…”settle down”! lol. i am well aware that we women can be troublesome at times but i’m not debating, confirming or addressing the “it’s all the woman’s fault” mind set here.

i am encouraging women to take an objective look at themselves…and you’re not helping. lol

Eden means to be fruitful or plentiful. A delightful place; a paradise. A state of innocence, bliss, or ultimate happiness.

i don’t know about you but i don’t live in Eden. however, there i something deep down in my heart that searches for Eden in my life.

therefore, i find myself on an exploration. do you?

i want to know the “keys” to plenty. i look for delight for my senses, my environment and experiences. i love the idea of paradise even  if it’s on a holiday or vacation. i want to be happy. i want to disconnect from the things that prevent happiness and pursue the ones that will provide it. i want bliss in my relationships.

so, i explore all of the possibilities. will more education help me attain plenty? will better work ethic help? how can i manage stress, conflict, difficulties and barriers? i read, i search the internet, i have deep and meaningfuls with my girlfriends.  i am exploring.

when i come across something that seems reasonable, i am not afraid to try something new. when i say reasonable, do you know how many things sound reasonable? i am pretty trusting (ok, if you insist on naïve, fine) and i really do not expect to be taken for a fool, tricked or victimized. so, when i get information that sounds reasonable…why not give it a try?

in fact, i can get an idea in my head and the process starts. i am curious. i wonder, i think it over, i dream about it. i look at it (from a few angles-don’t want to get too quirky about it because after all…i’m planning to give this idea a go and i don’t really want to be talked out of it).

i find that at that point desire tends to take over. kind of weird when i think about it. but it does. i’m not really talking about passionate desire here. just desire… the “i want” place in my mind. once i’m at this place…it may not happen right away, but seriously, i’m going to give it my best effort to make it happen.

that is when i interrogate. shhh! don’t tell my husband i am saying this because he tells me all the time that i ask so many question about things that it can begin to feel like an interrogation. lol…funny but maybe NOT.

i want to know, “well, what if we…” and the reply comes. no, not good enough…”how about…” the reply…ummm, “you are not getting it, i think that if….” and when i have really got something stuck in my brain, if i don’t get co-operation, i have been known to decide to just go ahead and do it myself! (remember the words that i said came to mind earlier? decisive, independent, willingness to test the boundaries?)

whew! sometimes i get lucky and it works out. other times, well, let’s just say i have learned that i don’t exactly like the taste of crow.

some of those decisions have brought a myriad of change to my life. again, some good…some not so much.

while these attributes can at times get us women into trouble, they are strengths as well.

it is because we are creative, curious and desire that we can produce lovely homes, nurturing atmospheres and organized, well functioning lives.

we just have to be able to apply the appropriate wisdom.

there are things that my family have to trust me on. when they are staring at food they have never eaten before or that is more healthy than other choices. i have researched and put in the time to prepare a lovely meal. when i insist that they put things away in their proper place (which i have prepared) so that when they need them next they are where they can be found. when i am cautioning them about safety/wisdom/common sense because i do not want them to experience pain.

the attributes that can get me into trouble, when used properly can make life easier, more balanced or effect a change that is vital.

that’s a good thing.

the results are then a more harmonious life. i think that was Eve’s purpose. to bring a harmony that didn’t exist.

for me, in my quest for Eden, that would be my greatest desire…to use the gifts that i have been created for to bring harmony to my life.

i have to tell you though, even when i am doing my best to apply wisdom…it sneaks up on me…

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this week, i got into my head that i needed a place for my dryer. in my new house, the washer attachments are in the bathroom and there is no place in there for my dryer. the garage has no electricity set up in it so that was out. there is a small room off the kitchen but i have it designated for an office where i can blog, do my admin duties for our business and well,…it’s my space. there was no other suitable place in the house for my dryer…but i eyed this little cupboard that housed the hot water heater. it was deep enough (well, i measured it in a woman-kind of way and it seemed to be a reasonable size and solution). i was just going to put it in there myself because it looked like a reasonable solution to my dilemma. excect, i had one problem. i’m short. the hot water heater sits in the bottom of that cupboard and where i needed the dryer to go was up high. ugh! i had to present this to my beloved. and well, let’s just say, he is not always easy to convince. i had explored my possibilities. i had made a decision. i had developed a strong (and i mean strong) desire for the dryer to be in that cupboard (i did not want it in the middle of the floor or in any of my well-put-together rooms…because it did not fit the décor). so, i started the interrogation, “dear, i have had an idea…”, “do you think, that possibly we could…”. to my amazement…he didn’t disagree. in fact, he said he would look at it. i have learned that that is a good thing…so, i dropped it until he got around to looking at it…after all, i could do that because not everything was finished with my unpacking, etc and i had a little time up my sleeve that i could slot patience into. lol when he did get around to it. he measured it first. like, really measured it…the way a man measures. you know what’s coming, right? in his estimation, it was not going to fit. excuse me? that did not work for me. not at all. nothing would do except that i see it up there! he had questions like: “how are you going to vent it? the door won’t close on the cupboard and do you really want that? if i get it up there, are you going to bug me to take it back down? couldn’t you put it on the front porch?” none of it mattered. i politely reminded him that it was just a simple, little, heart’s desire to see my dryer up in the cupboard. and much to my surprise, he did it…he lifted the dryer up into the cupboard.

and it didn’t fit!


and of course, nothing then would do until he took the hideous thing down!

i’m typing this and i’m laughing at myself.

i’m also thinking that i am really glad that it wasn’t like taking an apple off of a forbidden tree or anything that would change the course of life!

it helps me to see my “woman-ness”…that there is a part of me that needs to be tamed, disciplined and guarded. that there is wisdom, real wisdom for other areas of my life and i can’t allow these attributes to cloud my decision making ability, my purpose, or ability to stand on truth.

what? the dryer? oh yeah, well, it is sitting in the kitchen…but, i came to terms with the fact that, hey, at least i am in a proper house and not the old smoko room anymore…that one little inconvenience was not going to turn my world upside down and….

i would explore with my readers…got any reasonable ideas i could use? any creative storage ideas for a large appliance that i want to make disappear but still keep handy enough to use it when i need it? can you help a girl out here? 😉

have a great weekend!



my pathway always leads home

20131003-131928.jpgthis is my morning project.

the sun is shining so it’s a great day to be outdoors.

there was a big mud hole we had to walk through every time we can through so I used some pallets to make a walk way.

i lined the path with my river stones…remember, the ones I collected while on holiday last December? i used them to remind me (as a memorial) of all i’ve been through since i came to NZ and how everytime, God made a way through.

now, they line my pathway…reminding me my journey is not complete and there is always a pathway home!

have an awesome day, everyone!

i hope the sun is shining in your heart!