the value of being kind when others aren’t


My cousin spent today helping an infuriating, older neighbour tear down a fence. It was something her neighbour probably would not have reciprocated. She also had to wade through plants that were not good for her allergies. When completed, her young daughter noticed and commented about her labour of love.

My cousin stated: “My hives are calming down, Ill be fine and Sarah’s response makes it worth it. She said, “Mommy, why we’re you helping her when she doesn’t even like us?” I explained it’s the neighborly thing to do. She replied, “But Mom I heard her talking to you in a nice voice. Is she going to be nice now? Will she be a friend?” Good life lesson to learn when I told her that wasn’t why I did it and she probably will not be a friend. Some people are just the way they are.”

Is it really worth being nice to someone who isn’t easy to be nice to?

I think the answer is definitely, “yes.”

People are all different, have differing value systems and differing historical stories that cause them to be who they are.

Reacting like someone acts causes me to be disloyal to myself and who I really am. I most enjoy being kind, generous, loving and giving. That’s when I’m happiest within.

I find myself frustrated having to live on “their” playing field. So, I came to the realisation that revenge is not sweet for me. Being “me” is…therefore, I live fully out of my heart and appreciate that they are different than me.

I don’t expect them to be me (even when it’s hard) or give more than they are capable of giving.

It’s taken many years to reach this place…

I really despise my “mean Dee” more than I despise actions coming my way.

I also believe love never fails (even if I can’t see the good effects).

The question is, “who do I want to be and what type of journey do I want to travel?”

Answering that question for myself helps me set my standard of behaviour. It is not an easy journey and it takes maturity.

Which do you prefer?

One perpetuates drama and the other brings inner satisfaction.

If you haven’t reached the goal of not allowing circumstances to turn your world upside down, keep going. Keep applying purposeful actions to bring you to the place in your journey that you most desire.

Have a great day!

4 thoughts on “the value of being kind when others aren’t

  1. I just stumbled across this post through a Google search and want to thank you for sharing your lovely thoughts with all of us around the world! Your words reached me on a day when I really needed that extra push to be “me” and be kind, regardless of how others around me might behave.

    Have a wonderful day!


    • Kath, thank you for taking time out of your day to share your heart with me. It can be very difficult to remain kind when others around you are not. Retaliation is a common human reaction. However, personally, there came a time when I found myself living with a deeper sadness because by nature I am not a mean spirited person. I felt that in those times I was not being my truest self (and I don’t like “mean Dee” at all). I felt conflicted because I feared being taken advantage of or that poor behaviour would continue. What a lie that is. A wonderful lesson I have learned is that hurting people hurt people and most of the time others who aren’t so nice NEED a safe, kind, loving place in their day. Love never fails. Kind words really do turn away wrath (take the sting out of a situation). Then, if I am not able to help the person make lasting changes, healthy boundaries really are the key to keeping me in a safe environment. I am freer being “me” as I’m sure you have found to be true for yourself. The “others” in our lives, really need for us to be us as well…even if they test us not to be…because life is too full of harshness, woundings and pain…they need the refreshing that kindness offers to their lives.

      Well done, you! You are in charge of your day, your smile, your attitude and happiness…it’s important not to hand that control to anyone else.

      I hope you have many wonderful days ahead that inspire kindness in others!


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