the value of being kind when others aren’t


My cousin spent today helping an infuriating, older neighbour tear down a fence. It was something her neighbour probably would not have reciprocated. She also had to wade through plants that were not good for her allergies. When completed, her young daughter noticed and commented about her labour of love.

My cousin stated: “My hives are calming down, Ill be fine and Sarah’s response makes it worth it. She said, “Mommy, why we’re you helping her when she doesn’t even like us?” I explained it’s the neighborly thing to do. She replied, “But Mom I heard her talking to you in a nice voice. Is she going to be nice now? Will she be a friend?” Good life lesson to learn when I told her that wasn’t why I did it and she probably will not be a friend. Some people are just the way they are.”

Is it really worth being nice to someone who isn’t easy to be nice to?

I think the answer is definitely, “yes.”

People are all different, have differing value systems and differing historical stories that cause them to be who they are.

Reacting like someone acts causes me to be disloyal to myself and who I really am. I most enjoy being kind, generous, loving and giving. That’s when I’m happiest within.

I find myself frustrated having to live on “their” playing field. So, I came to the realisation that revenge is not sweet for me. Being “me” is…therefore, I live fully out of my heart and appreciate that they are different than me.

I don’t expect them to be me (even when it’s hard) or give more than they are capable of giving.

It’s taken many years to reach this place…

I really despise my “mean Dee” more than I despise actions coming my way.

I also believe love never fails (even if I can’t see the good effects).

The question is, “who do I want to be and what type of journey do I want to travel?”

Answering that question for myself helps me set my standard of behaviour. It is not an easy journey and it takes maturity.

Which do you prefer?

One perpetuates drama and the other brings inner satisfaction.

If you haven’t reached the goal of not allowing circumstances to turn your world upside down, keep going. Keep applying purposeful actions to bring you to the place in your journey that you most desire.

Have a great day!

acts of kindness opportunity: one person can’t do everything but everyone can do something.

BooneI’d like to introduce you to my friend from college Boone Bureenok.

I met Boone when I was in Bible College.

He returned home after school and is now pastoring a church in his homeland which runs an orphanage.

They provide a home for children whose families are unable to care for them for a variety of reasons.


Boone’s heart is heavy.

He needs help to save their church, property & orphanage.

There is much going on Thailand at the moment as we can see from a distance via the news.

Firstly, he has asked for prayer. The dream he has to provide a home to orphan children is under threat.

The weight of responsibility in itself will be great.

Secondly, the bank has required that he meet a $3800 payment by 21 March 2014.

To many this does not seem like an overwhelming amount but for a small orphanage in Thailand in might as well be millions.

To date they have raised $2000 and they still need $1200.

Another college friend, Dora Walker, has put together a plea for help from fellow Tomlinson College Alumni.

Dora and I talked the other day and we concluded that maybe we as individuals can’t do everything but everyone can do something.

It is this simple. To raise the remaining $1200 by the deadline it would take:

100 people who could give $12 each.

In NZ, that is less than the cost of a meal out.

Boone has a pay pal account set up and everyone can use his email address if they are able to give. 


Many of us around the world are blessed to be able to hold our children close and feed them their favourite meal today.

I think we could honour that blessing by taking advantage of this act of kindness opportunity and sharing with children who do not have what we have today.

I have been blogging now for almost a year. My heart’s desire was to be able to reach out to the hurting hearts of this world.

Although, I am not known to ask for money, I am asking today that you once again…

look inside your heart…

does this situation speak to your heart and can you help?

if you can please give generously.

you can contact Boone via email to donate directly at

Remember, no act of kindness, no matter the size, goes unnoticeable or unrewarded.

God Bless!


how i managed to fill my day with joy

20130817-231754.jpgi have enjoyed reading the suspended coffee stories. i imagine myself in the person’s shoes who is on the receiving end of this kindness. i think how little a cup of coffee costs but how gigantic the warm coffee itself is for someone cold and living in the elements. whoever inspired this idea…my hat is off to you!

there aren’t any homeless that I know of in the area of NZ where I live. yet, I’ve been looking for a way to share this concept in my community.

i found a way today.

i was having my hair done when a lady walked in. she requested a hair cut. she was asked to have a seat as she would be attended to next.

when the hairdresser called the lady to her station, i heard the woman quietly say, “i can’t pay today. could i bring the money to you next week. i’m having such a hard time getting from one week to the next”.

i was so excited because there right in front of me was a precious opportunity.

i motioned to the hairdresser and told her that i would cover the cost.

we didn’t tell her who had done the random act of kindness. she was such a happy lady. when she left, the hairdressers and i had so much fun discussing all the ways this type of blessing would benefit our city.

i was shocked that my own bill was much less than expected that i decided we would start a suspended haircut plan for that salon. So, they have a gift certificate to use at their discretion for someone else in need.

later today, my husband asked me, “what happened to you today? you are so happy & bright…did something happen to put you in such a good mood?”

i smiled and told him that helping that lady today filled the entire rest of my day with joy, delight and happiness…and it was physically noticeable.

do you want to have an absolutely joyful day…do something for someone that they can’t do for themselves! the feeling can not be described!

I love this idea of suspended “….” (Fill in your own blank custom designed for your community)….share a little kindness, love and compassion.

i can’t stop smiling and i like it!


it’s alive…the washcloth that lived on

Rag dog/insight from a woman's heart

“it’s alive…it’s alive”

actually, the washcloth isn’t alive but a simple gesture of kindness that involved that washcloth is…after 22 years.

you have heard it said that a smile can change someone’s day. it can.

i woke this morning and waiting for me was an email from a friend i have not seen in years. she has just gone through what she described as a stressful move. in the midst of the move she came across a little washcloth.

this friend and my sister came to my house to bring my daughter back home after a visit. i don’t even remember if she was visiting my sister or my parents. funny ,at 52, my memory is not what i would like for it to be. the girls had stayed overnight and as they prepared to leave, they did the usual girlie stuff…showered, put on their make-up and did their hair. as they were packing their belongings, we realized that my friend had a hot curling iron. my usual remedy is to wrap my curling iron in a washcloth to prevent damage to the other articles in the bag. so, i offered her a washcloth. no big deal. it was just a washcloth. this is a 22 year old act of simple kindness. one long gone from my memory.

as my friend stood at her sink to do dishes, the only thing she could find to use for the task, was this little washcloth that once served as a heat shield given to her by her friend’s sister.

the entire event flooded her memory, the trip, the little girl they were taking home, meeting me and the gesture. she stated, “as…. stressful as that move has been…seeing your cloth gave me a moment to breath and remember a nice memory.”

i smiled, wrote her back and thanked her for sharing this experience with me.

i took out my calculator (no, i do not do math in my head) and calculated how many years had gone by since the morning i handed her that little washcloth…22 years.

a simple gesture of kindness, long forgotten in my mind, had life and continued to speak long after it’s “use by date” was up.

you will have them, too. simple gestures that have just flowed from the abundance of your heart that have lived years beyond what you coud imagine. they might even live on in the heart of the person long after your journey on earth is complete.

just imagine the living acts of kindness wondering around in the world…just because of you and your kind heart.

it’s not always the major accomplishments in life (although they are fabulous as well) but don’t underestimate or overlook the simplest of gestures…they take on a life of their own.

now, get out there and inspire someone…you have exactly what you need in your bag of resources today to make a difference!

i’m having a great day…hope you do as well!


BTW, the photo is used with permission…my sweet sister, Evie, loves photography and she graciously shared the photo with me today! Thanks, Sis! I love you!