I received the following comment from A Momma’s View on my blog Multiplied Love from yesterday.
“So well said and such a beautiful way to look at it! Actually interesting that we always talk about dividing and not multiplying!”
As I was writing my response to her kind comment, I decided that I wanted to share both with you.
My response: “I’m not sure why we talk about dividing. I think the idea of multiplying can be overwhelming, as if we think we can’t handle more. But I truly believe that we were fashioned for abundance. To me, that means our capacity is so much greater than we can imagine. Nature is all about multiplying. One grain of corn will multiply into many meals. A single apple seed will one day produce enough fruit to feed a family, possibly a neighborhood. On and on. I think we can learn to live higher. Multiplying the resources within us will lead us toward a flourishing life.”
A flourishing life.
Wouldn’t that be a fabulous goal to aspire to?
Isn’t it really what we all are secretly hoping for?
Isn’t it the very reason we drop to our knees in tears when disappointment strikes?
I was thinking about that apple tree or any fruit tree, really.
When a fruit tree produces loads of beautifully sweet fruit, we remark, “My fruit tree is flourishing”. Right? The seed has multiplied what it was into a flourishing bountiful tree.
But that fruit tree didn’t just start flourishing.
There was a process that occurred over time.
First, someone took a seed, prepared it properly for planting. Found just the right soil and nutrients in which to bury it.
That seed was placed in rich, dark dirt, where it dies. Yip, what it is now has to die. The potential of the fruit lies sleeping in the current form. Unless a change takes place no fruit will ever appear.
We fight the process. We fight the necessary changes. We weep over the loss of what we are at this moment. Shoot, I have even had a quite a few melt-downs along my journey. It can be painful. It can be uncomfortable. Fear of letting go of what is familiar (what I am now and the way I cope) to grasp the unfamiliar (our potential) is paralysing.
But it’s ok. You are alright. You are going to be fine. In fact, you are going to be better than fine. You are going to flourish. You are going to be everything you were designed to be. And, honestly, it is going to be better than you imagine.
You can hold onto your little seed. But a wise man once said, “I assure you: Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains by itself. But if it dies, it produces a large crop.”
It remains “by itself”. Dear one, do you know what that phrase means? It means alone. Alone.
That same wise man said that “If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.”
I sat with a friend one time. Tears streaming down her face because the father of her child did not want her or the most beautiful child in the world. They were not married and she was desperate to be a family. I explained that letting go of something that constantly brought pain and tears was hard. But as long as she was clinging to this dysfunctional relationship, she could not be ready to grab hold of a really good one. If she allowed this dream of a family to be planted, the old way of being, to die, one day she would not recognise her new life compared to it’s current state.
Well, she stopped clinging to her life as it was. She let what wasn’t working die. And when I saw her last year, she was flourishing. She was.
I get that it was all she had at the time. I get that. But it wasn’t what she really wanted her life to look like. She didn’t want someone who didn’t give love. She didn’t want someone who tolerated her at his convenience. She wanted more.
By letting go, she multiplied. And she is not alone.
Now, does that mean her life is perfect? Is your? Mine’s not. Because the process does not stop once abundance shows up.
There is now pruning to do. There will be things that begin to grow that suck the life out of you. The fruit producing parts of life can not compete with the stuff that eats up all your nutrients and reserves. For the multiplying to continue, you have to keep letting go of the things that are holding back your growth.
So, I ask you, do you feel alone? If the answer is no. Awesome! You might be right in your sweet spot. If you are not feeling alone, then are you frustrated? Again, if no, you are probably flourishing.
However, if you feel alone – try getting by yourself for a little heart to heart with YOU. Not many people enjoy the stillness but you need to ask yourself some questions. Do you need to change something? Do you need to fix something? Maybe you are angry more than happy. Maybe things just never seem to work out like you planned. These are indicators. Look for the deeper causes. What do you need to let go of?
If you do not feel alone but are feeling frustrated, maybe it’s time for a little pruning to take place. What is zapping you of your energy? Are you over committed? Have you allowed old attitudes or behaviours to re-establish themselves. Is it time to cut some things off?
I have experienced a lot a grief in my life. I have grieved loss in many forms. Grieving never really goes away completely when we are talking about the loss of a loved one. Fear of experiencing that loss again became the way I approached my life.
When I first came to NZ, I was overwhelmed by prices. Food that I could buy at home for very little cost, was expensive. I like to use lemons in a lot of my recipes. I also love freshly squeezed lemonade. The price of lemons was about $15 per kg the first time I went to buy them. I made a decision to buy them anyway. I brought them home and placed them in a beautiful bowl and set them on the table. Then I stood guard over them. I did not want to waste them and I didn’t want anyone else to either. I was fearful that I would not be able to buy more at that price and I didn’t want to lose even one of them. I admired them. I never used them. One day I walked past the table and my beautiful lemons weren’t beautiful any longer. They had rotted. Every last one of them. Gone. I tried to hold onto them and lost them anyway.
Life is like that. What we desperately try to hold onto stagnates. Molds. Gets really stinky and rotten.
And we aren’t truly living. We aren’t multiplying, increasing or growing.
Life is a process of taking who we are, refining our behaviours, and letting go of the unfulfilling aspects so that we can have the abundance that our heart is truly desiring.
When we do…we flourish and our potential is realised.
What do you think? Do you want to multiply or divide? Do you want to let go in order to gain?
Why not start today?