How To Prevent Failed Relationships

How can two walk together unless they agree?

Relationship is the hardest work you will ever do. Don’t you think? Two or more people with differing cultural, family, traditional, spiritual and economical values, opinions and aspirations attempt to walk together. We join others in relationship for sports, business, hobbies, community, life and a variety of other reasons. Once we make the decision we want to work together…the fun begins as long as we keep a clear focus on why we wanted to be together in the first place.

Otherwise, we loose our minds in craziness. Have you ever noticed how purely ridiculous things can become when we attempt to walk together and don’t agree? That’s the point we are in danger of no longer walking together.

Agreement is the key. Do we always agree? NO!!!! When we don’t agree, what then?

IMG_1860.JPGWhen I ask that question, if your mind only goes to the differences people have in the areas I mentioned above, you most likely will never reach agreement.

Agreement is harmony. The sound of a beautiful melody or symphony. The dictionary used the word accordance. A chord is made up of differing notes put together to make music. Accordance happens when we take our individual differences in opinion and feeling and make them work together for the relationship. I like the thought of that. But then, again, that is the work of relationship…and remember I have already said that its the hardest work you will ever do. However, the reward of walking together is much easier on the heart then a break-up and heartache.

Did you know that another meaning for agreement is consistency? Everyone who has taken to hard work understands consistency and its benefits. My home town, Chattanooga, just hosted an Ironman Competition. The preparation for entering the race commands hours, days, weeks and even months of hard, consistent training.

We know this concept.

We’ve got this down pat in many areas of our lives.

We consistently get up day in and day out and head to work. There are days we want to cover our heads with the blankets but we like eating more, so we get up.

Speaking of eating, I consistently feed my face. To be honest, I’m not always thinking about the health of my body. Somedays it’s all about the chocolate. Nonetheless, I am consistent to fuel my body because I want to stay alive. I’m not crazy about the alternative.

Here’s the thing, we understand the importance of consistency in most everything we do. We have practiced it over and over again. Really, we are agreeing to do what it takes in those areas of our lives to make things work. I think, as hard as it is, it’s also that simple. Looking at the signals, coming to terms together on the best course of action and then doing it together to ensure the best or desired result.

The individuals in a relationship may be the greatest stars in the world, but if they don’t work together, they won’t succeed.

Relationship is an ever growing process. It develops in the ups and downs, when you’ve suffered together, cried together, and laughed together.

Succeeding in relationship requires that the people involved recognize that they have responsibilities as well as rights. Asking only what’s in it for me means we forget our destinies are bound together. Without commitment to others, without love, charity, duty, and consistency (agreement) we destine ourselves to failure.

Together we can face any challenges as deep as the sea and as high as the sky.

Do you know the saying, “Birds of a feather flock together?” Let me just say this, if you are constantly entering bad relationships check your feathers. If you possess a hurting heart full of pain, rejection, anger, bitterness, and hatred, you will notice those types of birds flocking toward you. Get well. Search for wholeness…fix those things. Believe me, I know you may not have the energy, feel brave enough or know where to begin. I have been in exactly the place you are sitting. It’s excruciatingly painful. It’s exhausting. It’s frustrating. And it’s numbing. However, wholeness is better. You will need time. You will need support. You will need help. You will need courage.

But YOU can do this.

You must do this to break the continuum of bad relationships.

Anytime we come together with collective intention, it’s a powerful thing.

When we work smarter not harder, we can argue real life issues together and solve problems. Both sides who are willing to work together will make great progress.

And isn’t the the real reason we gather together anyway? To make life better, stronger, happier?

Let’s keep our focus. Let’s accomplish long lives of love, hope, and joy.

Start by walking together in agreement. I know you can!

One Word Photo Challenge: Fushsia

The One You Will Never Lose

She is always there.

Will you accept her?

Will you love her?

Will you value her?

Will you esteem her?

If you will, there will always be someone in the room who accepts her.

She, my dear, is YOU.

(A Word A Week Challange: Chilled)

let me brighten your day


i have described myself as “romantic” about having a garden. not “a romantic” but “romantic” which to me means that i love the idea but not the work, bugs or weeds. sigh. i’m not known for a green thumb.

the little cottage that we’ve moved into came with a couple of small gardens containing lilies, roses, red-hot fire pokers and something i haven’t identified as yet. although i’ve never had much success growing things, i find my heart responds to the beauty of the flowers in my little gardens.

flowers have appositive effect on our well being and can even alleviate feelings of anxiety and depression.

how does alleviating a little anxiety or negative emotions and bringing a lift to your day sound?

flowers are a great way to express and enjoy a diverse range of emotions.

i can’t send all of you flowers but i thought i’d share a little virtual bouquet with you today…

20140223-004713.jpgred:bright…intensity…passion ignited…excitement…love…warmth…redemption…comfort…faithfulness

20140223-004858.jpgyellow:cheerfulness…sunshine…adoration…friendship…i’ll try harder…joy…pleasantness

20140223-005113.jpgwhite:reverence…light…goodness…purity…safety…simplicity…successful beginnings…faith


20140223-005436.jpgpink:calmness…taste of sweetness…appreciation…coolness…tranquility…grace…hope

20140223-005539.jpgorange:flames of desire…enthusiasm…fascination…energy… happiness…creativity… determination…attraction…success…encouragement…stimulation

20140223-005649.jpgpurple:love at first sight…enchantment…nostalgia…power…nobility…luxury…ambition…extravagance…wisdom…dignity…independence…creativity…mystery

one of the simplest ways to improve emotional health and wellbeing – flower. besides exercise and other personal lifestyle changes as stress relief, one can use flowers as a way to feel better and more relaxed.

flowers trigger uplifting emotions and enhance good feelings such as life satisfaction.

most people position their floral arrangements in highly visible places such as the living and dining rooms, and in hallways and entrance halls. meaning, flowers are placed in areas that say, “visitors are welcome.”

there’s no two ways about it, there’s no reason why we should let stress get the better of us. surround yourself and your loved ones with flowers, and see the difference for yourself.


What Passion Does For You


“passion empowers me to do that thing i was created to do?”, you might ask.

“great…give me an order of passion and super-size it then”.

unlike courage, wisdom or skills, you can’t just gather passion.

passion is what compels your heart.

passion is what moves you out of your comfort zone and makes you willing to plunge into ambitious, creative endeavors.

passion inspires you to put more energy into something than is required.

passion encourages you to persevere even when it’s reasonable to quit; when there’s lots of evidence that it will never work, there’s no proof that it will, and from the outside, no one could blame you for giving up.

passion empowers you, compels you, inspires you and encourages you- giving you no other option but to keep nurturing “that thing” you were created to do with no promise of tangible success.

feel like you’ve lost your passion?

ask yourself the proverbial question,

“if i knew there was no way I would fail, what would I do?”


“if money were not an issue, what would i do even if i couldn’t earn money doing it?”

what is my passion?

i’m passionate about the heart of women and people in general.

i am passionate about the person that others have written off, the person nobody believes in, that no one thinks anything good could come out of them.

i am passionate about seeing the amazing possibilities within the heart of a person who is hurting and feeling hopeless.

i am passionate about encouraging the broken heart to work through the pain it has experienced and move forward on the journey of life and reach it’s fullest potential for wholeness and well-being.

it consumes me…inspires me…thrills me…

it feels like my purpose and makes the journey i’ve been on make sense.

now, it’s your turn…

what is your passion? what is it that empowers you to do your “thang”?

please leave me a comment below and share your passion with me. help me spread a little inspiration.


Our Past Can Be A Light For Others


maybe you are not ready to let your pain help heal the community. the gift of healing shared inspires. it is difficult to find courage following pain, especially with deep wounds.

consider this. if overcoming your wounds to inspire others in your community (or as I call it your circle of influence) is too much to consider, how about doing it for your children?

effects of emotional wounds are evident in people world wide, true? you may witness this truth in people in your community, city, region and even closer than that…your family.

maintaining well-being through difficult times and healing emotional pain provides light/life skills for your children. you provide them a better future. what a wonderful gift. our children need to learn wisdom, courage and decision making skills in order to prevent emotional wounds. if pain is not averted, they need to know how to heal properly.

the Hebrew story of Joshua and Caleb who were sent with 10 other men as spies, tells us that they came back a bit ambivalent. it was a beautiful place with amazing produce. they found giant fruit- grapes that required two men to carry. amazing. exciting. they had never seen anything or any place like it.

a little problem existed. along with those giant grapes were giant people. it scared ten of the men but Caleb & Joshua had nothing but courage and faith. they had seen far too many proofs in their journey that they were not alone. they also had seen seemingly hopeless situations turn around in ways that would blow the human mind. they were like, “we can do this…let’s take ’em”.

as a result, they received this promise:

The land on which your feet have walked will be your inheritance and that of your children forever

when all was said and done, the time came for the rewards to be passed out. Caleb went to get what was promised to him. problem was, he had walked over all the land. so, he chose the part he wanted. he said, “give me that mountain over there.” why? there was probably easier land to claim.

he wanted the mountain where the giants lived! he was going to do what he knew he could have done from the start…defeat the giants! he did, too.

when his daughter married, he gave her husband a piece of dry land. she was fine with that; however, because her daddy had been bold and courageous, there was boldness and courage inside her as well. knowing that her family would need water, she requested springs to go with the dry land. i wonder if he chuckled before he granted her request knowing that he had taught her well?

the courage and strength you use to walk your journey, even when painful, is a gift to your children. you teach them to be fearless, strong and willing to get through their difficult places to the place where there is blessing, life and well-being.

you may think they are not even getting “it” but believe me, they are and as they become adults…it will be like looking in a mirror.

be willing to move beyond your darkest hour…bring it to a place where healing can become a reality. lighten your heart’s load. you are not alone. Light, Truth & Love will meet you on the journey in miraculous ways that add strength to your courage and actions.

the places you walk through and overcome will be beneficial to your children in ways you could not imagine.

do you have a mountains where giants live?

“take ’em!!”

a centered heart will allow the springs of life to flow

guard your heart/insight from a woman's heart

long life

health and wellness

a clear and open path

shining like the dawn

reaching full strength

reaching my full potential

are mine


i diligently


keep and guard

my heart

for day by day

i’m presented with


all within my control

i choose my role

as guard today

and protect

this precious gift

for wisdom centered

in my heart

will give my life

a springing flow

“keep and guard your heart with all vigilance…for out of it flows the springs of life.” Proverbs 4:23