Anything could happen…and it might be suddenly

Posted on July 8, 2013 by Dee Clark

i like suddenly…

i agree, there are times when it’s not a great thing.

oh, but when it is…

i am running along and suddenly, i get my second wind.

i am attempting to correct a mistake in my accounts and suddenly, it dawns on me where the mistake has been.

i am pleading my case on an issue and suddenly, the other person gets the point.

i have tried to forgive and suddenly, i realize the event doesn’t have the hold on me like it did.

i am believing and standing in faith and suddenly, i have an answer.

the funny thing about suddenly is the unexpected realization that what you have hoped for is here…now.

you never know how close you are to your answer.

so be prepared…

anything could happen

and it might just come suddenly!

arm yourself with preparation.

Posted on July 7, 2013 by Dee Clark

sometimes you get yourself into unwise situations. if that is the case, all is not lost. harder but not lost. proverbs 6 begins by siting the example of co-signing a loan or becoming a guarantor.

realise that you have trapped yourself with your own mouth (ouch!)
realise you have given some of the power of your life over to the person you helped (ouch!)
humble yourself (no need to get mean…you did this to yourself- i have done this a few times. what i thought was a heart of compassion turned out to bite hard).
beg…(not demand) the person to pay off the bill so you can be released.

most decisions can be reversed. the key is preparation prior to making decisions that will impact your life. sounds like my “trauma plan” philosophy. be prepared.

proverbs 6 goes on to talk about preparation. have a look at the ant. the way of an ant is a wise way to live.

there is no one over the ant giving it step by step directions of what to do to live well. instinct is a fabulous tool.
the ant prepares…gathers it’s supplies well before they are needed.

the key is not to waste your time when things are good. that is the crucial time for preparing and gathering knowledge, insight and wisdom…not sleeping and playing in the sun. we all know that all work and no play is not wise; however, all play and no preparation is worse. the result of the latter is you could end up with your life being stolen from you..slowly but surely leaving you helpless. calamity is a crushing weight that leaves the heart broken. i don’t know about you but i can name a few situations in my life that fit this description perfectly.

being clever, side stepping the issues, and attempting to get around doing things the right way my seem cunning at the time but those tactics deceive the heart into thinking success can be achieved when only destruction is ahead. the end result is a crushed heart.

7 of those practices look like this

a proud approach-overestimate yourself and underestimate others. this is such a vital key for bulllies and control freaks. do not fall into this trap. ummm…it doesn’t work. it might for a while but once the person you are attempting to control gains their right state of mind…you loose out.
lying. we all know the web that gets created when you decide to present half truths, lies or leave out critical facts as a protective measure. it gets messy real fast.
thinking and planning ways to get around the situation instead of hitting the issue head on. we can think up some rubbish, can’t we? does it ever work…i can’t think of any examples.
trying to pin the mess on someone else…blaming…shucking responsiblity. trying to deflect the spotlight from your responsiblity is an age old tactic. the fact of the matter is that truth seems to have a way of surfacing. truth rarely stays in the dark.
pitting one against the other. playing the middleman and getting two parties at each other’s throat shifts the focus but is a dispicable tactic. don’t…just don’t do it.

the heart is the key storage unit for wisdom. the heart must be capable of using wisdom or maybe it’s a God-given instinct that it possesses (like the ant). grab hold of wisdom, insight and the knowledge (of how to do things the right way) and refuse…reFUSE…REFUSE to be tricked into thinking any other way is acceptable.

Foolishness seduces you. fools you. tricks you.

i think we’ll look at that in my next post…this one has gone long.

to summerize, making wise decisions that keep your heart and life safe are easy to make if you are prepared with the right tools.

here’s my practical example. i’ve suffered many abuses along my journey (& maybe-probably-you have, too). one of the things i attributed it to was that i didn’t protect myself by speaking up- having a voice. therefore, i conceived a plan in my heart that i would speak up for myself no matter what. fair enough, right? what I didn’t expect was that in doing so i often spoke out of disrespect (especially when men were involved). did you know that the number one need of women is love? i knew it because i am a woman. did you know the number one need of a man is respect? i obviously didn’t. ☺ so, i had my voice spouting its venom to my husband coated in disrespect and man, did it back fire! when i adjusted my approach (not my goal of having a voice) to a respectful way of dealing with issues…i have been amazed at how many of the issues, i deemed vital to resolve, have been. I might add, they have been resolved without confrontation. dah! what do the Pinterest pinners say? “why didn’t I think of that?” because foolishness is seductive…and preparing for life with understanding is wise!

well, i lost this post yesterday because of a dumb mistake but rethinking it..i’m glad…😍

i hope you find this helpful! let me know if it was. i do enjoy hearing your kind feedback!

hugs are so comforting!

Posted on July 6, 2013 by Dee Clark

well, i’m giving myself a hug from my sisters. they are a safe place for my heart.

and after i blundered a while ago by messing my blog up on my mobile phone…I needed one. 😉

it made me realize that we are gonna put our best foot forward and fall flat on our faces sometimes.

when we do:
1. Grab a hug from someone you love.
2. Assure yourself that the action failed- you are not a failure.
3. Get back on the horse, so to speak- and try again.
4. Learn so you don’t hit the wrong button next time!
5. Relax…most mistakes can be corrected!

Now, I’m going to go play with my grand kids and forget that I just made a fool of myself in front of thousands of readers!

Blushing,
D

you possess your greatest opportunity…quick grab it!

Posted on July 5, 2013 by Dee Clark

you and i have something very special in common. something uniquely equalising.

opportunity!

for what?

our individual gift.

the gift of who we are. the purpose we were built so perfectly to fulfil. no one can compare to who i am. no one can handle what i am meant to do. no one can fill my shoes…or yours!

if my gift looks different than yours- it’s supposed to. if your gift is packaged more appealingly than mine-that’s ok. your gift is packaged for optimum effectiveness…so is mine.

i might not fully understand the design but every single detail is specifically designed for maximum impact.

the key to the potential of the opportunity is to bury any fear and let the gift shine as it is.

cultivate

appreciation
&
gratitude

for the gift.

then grab that beautiful opportunity with both hands and follow the instinct deep within the soul…

to do something magnificently special…
making the world a better place…

because you and i were not afraid to freely give our gift.

what do you do instinctively well…
bloggers write,
teachers teach,
mothers nurture,
wives support,
artists create,
encouragers lift spirits,
designers show flare,
mediators/facilitators blend,
organisers structure,
actors entertain,
humorists cheer,
police protect…
the gifts are varied…the value equal…the potential great…the significance irreplaceable.

don’t be afraid!

Opportunity

Gift

Instinct

grab them and go for it!!!

make the world sit up and take notice!

have fun!
D

The winner…the heart of faith

Posted on July 4, 2013 by Dee Clark

“Words of wisdom” is what i am titling this photo…because when we see this expression from across the room…we know the wisdom is flowing.

the heart of faith won the battle (from yesterday’s post). thankfully, i was able to get the mind’s fear quiet enough for faith to do its work.

my dad proved once again that he is a fighter…and the surgeons did a great job…the surgery went well and he is recovering quite nicely.

i guess, he has a bit more wisdom that we need to hear.

i am happy about that.

good’ay!

the heart’s faith battles the minds fear

Posted on July 4, 2013 by Dee Clark

i’m lying here with sleep evading me. visions of my life with my daddy passing through the halls of my mind.

my heart and my mind battling between faith and fear.

i wrote not many days back that life brings sudden changes and that a wise life plan includes a trauma plan. i have many yet from time to time I come face to face with the reminder that i’m not as prepared as i imagined.

today is one of those days.

i called to wish my daddy well as he prepared for heart surgery. the prep work was complete. great! except, my heart had not really conceived an idea close to the prep my daddy had put into place. my contemplations had included well prepared surgeons, physical checks, accommodations, travel and the like. simple little details to check from a well prepared list. everything in order & well organised is a normal expectation from this meticulously detailed man.

i am 10,000 miles away. i expected to feel a tinge of home sickness as this day approached. i was right about that.

the further preparations, that stunned my heart today, were the “good byes”. the “i’m proud to have been your daddy”. what? wait! no, hang on a minute…

i am a strong believer in faith, staying positive, believing it all goes well…and i’m accustomed to encouraging others to cling to the hopeful side of situations.

although my dad is ageing, i really have not prepared myself for “good-byes”. after all, remember my heart still thinks it’s 18 years old; therefore, it’s not entertaining the reality of my daddy’s age and the need for good-byes.

the stark truth – that his preparations included coming to grips with a risky procedure that might go wrong – placed my heart face to face with a possibility of loss.

i have been scrambling through my mental trauma plan file. i have thought through many types of losses; job loss, relationship loss, business loss, loss of aunts, uncles, grandparents, and fiancé…but nothing that involved my parents.

i learned, after my fiancé’s death, the importance of not shutting someone down when they speak of death-Craig actually had a dream about the car accident two weeks prior to its occurrence with accurate details.

so, while i was unwilling to accept that i was having a final conversation today, we exchanged tender moments, words and tears.

i choose to hold tightly tonight to my faith and believe – for wisdom and a steady hand for the surgeon. i fully expect to hear that my dad came through with flying colours.

i know that loss is one of the deepest wounds we experience. the process of grief is painful. loss of a career, health, relationship, reputation and of loved ones can all trigger changes to life that are painful adjustments.

maybe, we’ll look at walking toward emotional healing after loss in the near future. after i’ve had some sleep and my daddy is recovering well.

for tonight, i’m urging my heart’s faith to win the battle over my mind’s fear by remaining positive…whispering a prayer…remembering that my daddy (& momma) taught me by example to have courage, never give up & trust that there is always a Divine plan. things will work out just as they should.

life is a journey. today, i felt a little shaky in my steps but i’m still walking. there are days like these…but there is also a promise that…

Joy comes in the morning!

stay strong. be encouraged. never give up!!

thanks for sharing a few moments of your day!

the blessing of bridges

Posted on July 3, 2013 by Dee Clark

brightening my way
regarding my heart
impacting with joy
dispersing my fears
gentle support
encouraging with hope

it’s breathtaking to feel a supportive lift when strength feels like it’s slipping away-realizing that help is near to ensure you make a successful crossing. friends, family, faith, a kind stranger are such blessings.

i love having the opportunity to help bridge a gap.

i am grateful for those who have lent a hand to help bridge mine.

supporting one another is a good thing. makes life better. makes the journey easier.

two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. but pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!- Paul

she has a beautiful heart

Posted on July 2, 2013 by Dee Clark

i sit and watch her from my chair

the morning sun upon her hair

wisps of blonde and brilliant red

like fire, rest upon her head

the kitchen counter full of spills

cereal, noodles, sugar, peels …

the mess is mine when she is done

but for the moment it’s all big fun

and as she stirs this mix with love

she beams a grin of pride~

for as she plays she opens wide

a heart of golden hues

she makes a gift to give away

and me…the mess…excused

this little one is mine to guide

toward beauty from the soul

i take the gift and know it’s true

there’s love within her bowl.

my daughter and grand-daughter both have beautiful hearts.

they are truely my treasures.

i am feeling very grateful for the beauty in my life today!

i hope you have a beauty-full day as well!

thanks for stopping by…

forgiveness test…this one will nail it!

Posted on July 1, 2013 by Dee Clark

i’ve been talking alot about forgiveness over the past couple of days. i had a reader write to me and say that forgiveness is important but is very difficult to do.

so, true!

even when you think it’s all done and dusted…whamo…you can feel like you’ve been hit in the gut by the whole thing over again. i totally understand! keep working on it. believe me…you will get there. you will surprise yourself with how much strength you have to do this!

i love quotes…and the proverbs…as i’m sure you have noticed. i found a great one today.

guess what?

it nailed my heart! i am calling it my forgiveness test.

want to see it? (i will warn you that if your wound is still fresh…you may not want to yet.)

but…here goes….

i have to admit…as soon as i read it…one of my offenses flashed into my mind and i thought,

“i will NEVER say “thank you” for that experience!”

so, i reminded myself – “dee, you have forgiven that offense and you wouldn’t be the woman you are today without it. what you have to share flows directly out of your heart’s experience.”

i can’t say that i am totally there…but it was great that i came face to face with this heart test…because my goal is complete wholeness. i don’t feel any pain from the offense any more. i am way past it in many ways. however, i like a challenge…and this challenged me today.

like i said above, newly wounded hearts will not be able to accept the challenge…today and that is perfectly ok!

i had someone tell me recently, that a dirty pair of underwear on the floor can be as damaging to a relationship as betrayal – if forgiveness is not applied.

that is far too much power. i don’t want to give the power over my happiness away…so again today…

i choose forgiveness.

and i hope you will as well.

10 practical steps that will move you toward emotional healing

Posted on June 30, 2013 by Dee Clark

stock your life skill tool box. have a conversation with your heart long before it becomes wounded. the two of you decide to make forgiveness a tool you will use when it is needed. this way when forgiveness is required, the decision is already made and the issue is settled. your best life decisions are made when you are not in the midst of trouble. decide beforehand, what your approach to life will be.
give yourself time. a raw wound is not ready for healing. it may be necessary to allow time and distance. however, deciding to make forgiveness part of the life skill tool box will guide the heart toward forgiveness when the time is right.
forgive yourself. a great place to start when forgiving is to forgive yourself. often, we can feel upset with ourselves. “why did i not see?”, if i had only…”, “i swore i would never let…”. we put our hearts through torture trying to figure out “why”, “what if”, or “if only”. we add insult to injury by blaming ourselves. we can be wounded without any effort on our part. release yourself from responsibility that does not belong to you. forgive yourself for any real part that you played and refuse to punish yourself.
learn the valuable lessons. if you need to apply more wisdom going forward. learn what that wisdom should be…apply it where possible…move forward. evaluating if healthy boundaries are necessary and setting them in place can assist the heart in returning to a feeling of safety.
remember when you needed forgiveness and mercy. try as we might, we are going to blow it…maybe by the end of the day. remembering you have needed mercy in the past helps to soften the heart. realizing that when you desperately needed and wanted forgiveness because your intentions were not to wound, will help your heart walk toward forgiveness.
refuse to inflict pain because you were hurt. maya angelo says that just because you have pain does not mean you have to be one. revenge feels like a natural weapon to raise in defence of your heart yet it is very destructive. your heart needs to understand that you do not have to extract punishment. however, forgiveness does not remove consequences especially if legal action is required.
practice being kind and tender-hearted. keeping your heart tender will prepare it for forgiveness. practice kindness in some way toward someone outside of your situation. practice speaking kind words. be gentle with an infant. find ways to open your heart in non-threatening situations so that is not tempted to become hard, harsh and cold.
have your say. i’m sure the heart would love the opportunity to provide an “earful” to the offender. most often, we don’t get the opportunity for confrontation. if the opportunity is provided and is safe, think carefully about what you need the offender to know about what happened, how it impacted you and that you plan to move forward with life. if you are not provided the opportunity or it is not safe to do so in person, writing a letter (whether sent or not) can provide the ability to “get off your chest” what your heart feels is important to be said. once you have given voice to your heart…let it end there. don’t keep rehearing the situation. rehearsing the offense just keeps the wound bleeding.
put forgiveness to work. when you are ready…apply forgiveness. if you will replace the temptation- to tell yourself or a friend how badly you were hurt- with the statement, “i am forgiving this offense”- the wound will begin to heal from the inside out.
practice forgiveness. practice bringing your emotions, behaviour and thoughts back to a functional place. when i was working with my heart to forgive my ex-husband, i began to practice speaking to him in a respectful way…even before i wanted to offer a respectful response. with each conversation, it became easier to speak kindly. even when it was necessary to be firm, i found that i could say what needed to be said in a kind way- for my heart’s sake. understanding that forgiveness is a life-style is important. it is not an immediate fix or a one time occurrence. it’s an act of faith. a decision. a hard decision. a valuable, life changing decision.

i have had many opportunities in my life that required forgiveness for me to live my best life. these are not just words. i have lived in an attempt to extract revenge…my heart growing harder…my life unsettled…and feeling trapped.

there have been simple offenses- hurtful words spoken to or at me.
a drunken driver caused an automobile accident that put me in the hospital, injured my baby sister and claimed the life of my fiancé.
i have been through a very volatile divorce.
i have had business partners betray my trust and steal assets that they had no rights to steal.
i have been tricked.
i have lied to.
i have been cheated on.

yet, in each and every circumstance, i have found the most healing, freeing approach for my life was to walk through the steps of forgiveness.

in fact, the last situation i found myself involved in was a complete shock to my heart and system. i was amazed at my heart because after years of practicing forgiveness – i heard myself say, “i forgive you”…immediately. i had to pinch myself to make sure i was really aware of what i had just said…it was me…i had quickly chosen forgiveness…and it was so much easier than it used to be.

hopefully your heart will be able to find this life skill useful on your journey.

forgiveness is a sweet fragrance…your heart offers when it is crushed.