The Sunshine Blogger Award

Posted on July 28, 2013 by Dee Clark

It’s a bright, bright sun-shiny day! What a special honor to be nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award by fellow inspiring blogger, Rock Your Inner Hippie.

What a pleasant surprise for the start my day. Thank you, Mary.

There are some small details that go hand-in-hand with excepting this fun award, so here they are:

‘The rules…’

Include the award logo in a post or on the blog
Include a link to the person who nominated you (Mary, thank you again!)
Write 10 random things about yourself
Nominate ten other bloggers who “positively and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere”, and let them know you nominated them…

Now, 10 Random Things about Me…

1. I love experimenting with my hair. My mantra is “it’s only hair…it’ll grow back”. Therefore, I change hairstyles often.

2. I believe red licorice should definitely be included in the food groups. I prefer mine at breakfast.

3. My happy place is sitting on a huge rock, in the sunshine, watching the waves roll in: “rock-time”.

4. The VW Beetle is my favourite ride. I’ve owned 2. I would trade my BMW Roadster in for one today. It’s like blowing bubbles-cuteness & happiness waiting to happen.

5. My favourite sense is smell. My idea of sensational bliss is walking into specialty shops with yummy aromas. On the other side of that point, I’ve never had a beer because I would never drink something that I could not get past my nose.

6. One of my favourite inspirations is a random act of kindness – the surprise on someone’s face following Random Acts of kindness is the best!

7. I believe a good cry is good for the soul and I know all the movies that will help the process.

8. My heart enjoys tricking my body into believing its younger than it is.

9. My favourite advice for stressful situations is ” Don’t panic!”

10. I think everyone has something special to share that helps make the world intriguing.

I’m happy to share my SUNSHINE BLOGGER AWARD nominations…

1. Twin Sane Asylum

2. Girl on the Contrary

3. KBT

4. Morning Story and Dilbert

5. The Happsters

6. Carmen

7. Daughter By Design

8. Meanwhile Melody Muses

9. Pages of Grace

10. Project Light of Life

THANK YOU to each of these bloggers for spreading the SUNSHINE. Mary, thank you again for nomination for this sunny award 🙂

Keep Shining everyone!

Acceptance is seeing with your heart not your eyes

Posted on July 24, 2013 by Dee Clark

An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo.

Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. “You’ve got so many freckles, there’s no place to paint!” a girl in the line said to the little fella.

Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. “I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles,” she said, while tracing her finger across the child’s cheek. “Freckles are beautiful.”

The boy looked up, “Really?”

“Of course,” said the grandmother. “Why just name me one thing that’s prettier than freckles.”

The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma’s face and softly whispered, “Wrinkles.”

-writer unknown

acceptance is one of three core motivations for many of our behaviours. join me this week as we look at accepting ourselves, dealing with rejection and understanding how acceptance/rejection issues motivate our behaviours.

see you soon,
D

recognizing the depth of emotional wounds

Posted on July 19, 2013 by Dee Clark

pain is nature’s wisdom. you know how i love wisdom. pain is intended to help protect us from damage to our bodies. it’s a survival tool. pain helps us recognize what to avoid. if we didn’t feel pain, we would become so damaged that our lives would soon come to an end. pain helps us stay safe, alive and growing.

emotional pain is designed to keep us alert. learning what we are dealing with, gives us insight on how to deal with the pain. much like learning CPR and first aid, understanding the types of wounds we will experience, we can gain wisdom and tips on coping with emotional pain when it is required.

physical pain comes in varying degrees. simple wounds (1=minimal) like bruising, bumps, scraps, cramps, spasms, headaches and burns can usually be treated easily with rest and simple treatments. more severe wounds (10=severe) like broken bones, 2nd and 3rd degree burns, cancer, and other more serious illnesses require the help of a doctor or hospital.

emotional wounds come in varying degrees as well. the lower the degree of pain inflicted (1=minimal), the level of treatment and time required for healing to take place can be minimal. the higher the degree of pain (10=severe), typically, more effort, patience and time is required for healing to occur.

emotional wounds need the same type of attention and treatment as physical wounds, in order for the most effective healing to occur and to prevent infection and/or scarring. just as untreated physical wounds can lead to infection, untreated emotional wounds can lead to infected feelings of anger, rage, moodiness, hopelessness, irritability, frustration, anxiety, sadness, insecurity, fear, and unhappiness. if the infection is allowed to persist it can contaminate your entire life and possibly leave scarring.

physically and emotionally, the treatment process is similar:

Clean the Wound
Destroy the Contaminants
Treat the Wound
Protect the Wound

you need to realize that time does not heal all wounds. ignoring the wound will not make it go away. rehearsing the wound alone does not bring closure – often it keeps the wound bleeding. revenge does not cure the wound.

before healing treatment can be applied, you need to understand the degree and depth of the wound and how old the wound is. only then can you determine what must be done.

example: someone insults or embarrasses you. assuming you are dealing with this issue alone, you might feel the wound is small or minor, like a physical bruise, scrape or bump. the pain you might feel might include anger, hurt, fear or indifference. you might feel the depth of the wound to be surface. if the wound is fairly recent and you are dealing with the impact, the solution may be minor. you will probably have no physical symptoms as a result of the emotional pain. most people have the skills for treating this kind of wound. you will be able to realize the comments made are not a realistic description of who you are and how you conduct your life. you can confront the person who made them and set healthy boundaries for going forward. you can treat the wound with forgiveness and find the ability to move on to be quite simple.

so, what if it’s a deeper wound?

i gave you a generic list of some of my emotional wounds. one of my deeper wounds was the death of my fiancé. this is a good example of having a deep wound.

i was a shy, timid young woman in my twenties. like most young women, i dreamed of finding mister right. why, i am not sure. seriously, at the time, i was far too immature in my thinking. i sometimes wonder if we don’t train little girls to dream of a magical wedding and a happily ever after without the life skills to prepare for reality. nonetheless, i met an amazing young man during my college years. we fell in love, planned a future together and began making preparations for getting married.

graduation from college occurred on Friday night. my family, some friends, Craig and i attended graduation and then stayed over the weekend to make some wedding plans. once they were complete, we headed toward my home in Illinois approximately 8 hours away. the plan was for Craig to stay with us for a while so that he and my family could get to know one another better. he would then travel home and detour to Colorado where we planned to live and work with youth following the wedding.

we had a blast traveling toward my home. my dad is quite the jokester and Craig had a great sense of humor so he played along…i remember lots of laughing and joy.

thirteen miles from home, one of the cars needed gas. my parents decided to go on home and leave us “kids” to get the gas and then head home. however, before we made it home, the car that Craig, my baby sister and i were in, was struck by a drunken driver. my 8-year-old sister received minor injuries but witnessed the entire event. i was unconscious most of the time but came-to for brief amounts of time. Craig was fatally wounded.

the car that was following ours

i had never really experienced loss like this before. i was in hospital with fairly serious injuries as well; broken jaw, lacerations, concussion, and others. as well, because i had a concussion, i remember very little of the week following the accident. during that week, this precious man that i loved was laid to rest and i was not able to attend.

in one event, i suffered:

major injuries to my body
loss of a loved one and no closure for the loss
and the end of an important relationship
loss of my a dream
change of direction in my life
lost memory of the event

the loss in itself was traumatizing. the loss of my memory concerning the accident details added distress. not being able to attend the funeral and my memory loss brought great torment. needless to say, my family, Craig’s family and i were not equipped for this event. the wound was deep and severe. we all attempted recover the best we knew how. yet, this wound remained unhealed in my heart for many years. the result was deep impact to many areas of my life.

in addition, because this wound was not healing properly, minor emotional wounds – like being stopped by a policeman for a broken tail light – became bigger problems than they needed to be.

i required help with this wound. i am very grateful for the help i received. that was 30 years ago now. i have a scar. the wound is no longer painful. the scar, however, reminds me that i had been blessed to have loved but i also lost. i can now be grateful for the time i was given and i hold precious memories. i have been able to come to terms with the loss and move forward and live.

whether minor or severe, the treatment process can be applied. we will look at that in future posts.

today, hopefully, you can use the information to assess the wound. ask yourself these questions:

did the emotional pain cause a small, surface or large, deep wound?
when did the emotional pain occur?
what am i feeling as a result?
am i having any physical symptoms as a result of the emotional pain?

once the wound is assessed, let’s look at how to apply the treatment. as always as with physical wounds, if symptoms persist…see a professional.

feel free to download my Emotional Wounds PDF. it describes some common emotional wounds to help you identify what you might be dealing with.

we’ll keep walking through the steps. i would love for you to join me,

what sea glass taught me about emotional healing

Posted on July 17, 2013 by Dee Clark

i grabbed my camera this morning and headed out for the beach. just for a quiet walk. the weather has been a bit nasty lately and the sun was peeking through the clouds. i decided the sun and i had a long overdue meeting that needed to take place.

the harbour was beautiful with the sun beaming off the water. as i walked, i noticed a pair of paradise ducks. actually, i couldn’t help but notice them as they were screaming at each other. my husband was telling me that they mate for life and if one of them dies, the other lives on without a mate. i wondered if they would miss the screaming? my guess is that they would. no matter how crazy things get, you really do miss the noise someone makes when they are not there. i supposed that ducks are the same.

they settled after a while and i assumed they had sorted their differences.

before i knew it, they took flight and were flying off into the horizon.

i headed around to the back beach to watch the waves roll into shore. they are beautiful from the beach but they are fierce. i sat and snapped away – i was trying to get some great shots of the water as it hit the rocks. as i sat on one of the big boulders, i noticed a glistening near my feet in the gravel. the beach here is not just sand. it is filled with pebbles, rocks and glistening things. when i reached down to pick up this object that had grabbed my attention, i realized it was glass. it was sea glass…and it was beautiful. well, my focus was no longer on the waves…i was away treasure hunting.

as i began to gather the little beauties, i noticed that some of them were perfectly smooth, some were not; some still bore the sharp edges or chips and some were larger, some were tiny. my favorite pieces were the smoothest ones. i had recently read about how sea glass was made and wanted to find some. so, today was a good day. i looked out at the waves again. i realized that my heart during my journey had been shattered into many pieces at times like the shards i found on the beach. i realized that the tumultuous waves i had experienced along the way served an important purpose. they caused the broken, cutting pieces to round out into something beautiful and useful.

my plan for my blog today was to explore the question, “what is emotional healing and who needs it?”

i think we all need a degree of healing at many times in our lives. unless you are a robot, of course. humans who live everyday interacting with other humans will come across times when they experience painful situations.

brokenness or wounds occur when an event:

occurs unexpectedly
you weren’t prepared for it
you felt powerless to prevent it
it happened repeatedly
someone was intentionally cruel
childhood traumas

i thought of the list events that caused brokenness and wounding in my heart:

childhood trauma
moving a lot as a young child
near drowning as a child
a fatal car accident
death of my fiance
abusive relationships
miscarriages
divorce
breast cancer
separation from one of my children
loss of a close friend
offenses

i wondered how i was still standing. the reality is that i am still standing because i eventually looked for wholeness and healing.

what is emotional healing?

to heal is to make whole, to restore what was diseased or wounded to a place of soundness, to restore normal function. the state of a person in which parts are sound, well organized, well related and in which they all perform freely their natural function. A state of no pain.

the state of a person in which parts are sound. some of those parts have a differing shape than before but when healing occurs, like the sea glass, the brokenness is rounded and smoothed so that they can perform their natural function without pain or causing pain.

it is when you or i are not able to find healing that one event piles on top of the previous and dysfunction occurs. we are not built to endure long term pain therefore, something has to give relief.

often times, the relief is evident in impaired abilities:

having trouble functioning at home or work
suffering from severe fear, anxiety, or depression
unable to form close, satisfying relationships
experiencing terrifying memories, nightmares, or flashbacks
avoiding more and more things that remind you of the trauma
emotionally numb and disconnected from others
addictions such as using food, sex, alcohol or drugs to feel better

at this point, even simple negative events can feel very traumatic.

for example, i have a very sensitive heart. i am sympathetic and empathetic. i can easily relate to sad stories, commercials, movies, and books. i am easily in the emotion of the story. i actually quite like that about myself. crying, itself has a lot of healing benefits. however, before i began my journey toward emotional healing…i cried about everything – at the drop of a hat. i felt really sorry for policemen who pulled me over. i would be a crying mess by the time they got out of their cars to let me know why they stopped me. i remember on time, this policeman walked up to my window and i was bawling. he said to me, “i just wanted to let you know that your tail light was out!”

my ability to function normally was being prevented and the sadness in my heart was spilling out EVERYWHERE. not good. lol…it was a good indication that i was not functioning normally.

each of the events i have listed above no longer stir pain within my heart. i am able to deal with negatives and sort them out fairly quickly. the key is to be able to meet what comes at you and me on a day to day basis so that there is not a pile up.

if you find yourself in situations that throw you for a loop, you may need to work toward healing past events to resume normal function. if the events were traumatic and cause you severe pain, again asking for help is important. you do not have to flounder around not knowing how the wound should be healed.

if i can be of help, please feel free to contact me. i have had many women contact about the wounds they have experienced and are still facing. i will continue to share some helpful information via my blogs. i will present encouraging quotes, wisdom from proverbs and other truths that i have found helpful. together, we will walk this journey toward greater wholeness. it can be obtained.

we will never be able to prevent pain from occurring but it does not have to control our lives in a negative way.

keep walking…keep hoping…keep dreaming…for life should be lived largely and fully.

have a great day,

9 warnings that your emotional well-being might be at risk

Posted on July 16, 2013 by Dee Clark

i understand the warning signs that my body is not functioning properly. i can see and feel most of the symptoms as they present themselves. when i recognize what symptoms i am dealing with, i can make a decision concerning the seriousness and appropriate treatment.

normally, if the symptom are not serious and within my realm of ability to treat, i address the symptom. if i have a minor cut and bleeding, i wash the cut, apply antibacterial cream and grab a bandage. if i am running a fever, have a cough and runny nose, i treat a cold or flu.

when i had breast cancer, i knew that something was not right but couldn’t put my finger on the problem. i had to see a doctor for a diagnosis.

when i have no symptoms but want to ensure that i continue enjoying a healthy lifestyle, i have annual check-ups with my health professionals.

i think it is equally as important to recognize when our emotional well-being is healthy or recognize the warnings that there might be something wrong.

our emotional well-being becomes wounded when we experience damage to intimacy, acceptance, value and sense of belonging. most emotional wounds will fall under one of these categories including abuse. abuses attack our sense of value, tramples our boundaries for intimacy, threatens our perception of acceptance and crushes our sense of belonging in a safe environment.

the wounds appear as symptoms in four areas; our thinking, our emotions, our behaviours and our spirit.

healthy emotions are easy to identify. they are identified by:

love
joy
peace
forbearance
kindness
goodness
faithfulness
gentleness
self-control

wouldn’t you agree that when you are feeling at your emotional best…these are evident and flowing freely?

in the same way that it easy to detect a fever when it is coming on (your temperature goes up…and up…and up), there are warning signs when your emotional well-being is at risk. these warning signs will indicate that there a wound, a potential problem or a threat that requires attention. like physical symptoms, if the symptoms are temporary and pass quickly, there is usually not a problem. however, if these emotional symptoms persist, healing action should be taken. Allowed to continue, they will prevent you from being free to do what you desire to do to build an overall healthy lifestyle.

the symptoms are identified as:

hatred
deep sorrow or sadness
constant agitation, anger, and snappiness
persistent desire to give up or quit
harshness, being deliberately hurtful and cutting
feeling or acting revengeful, deliberately choosing wrong actions over right
being deceitful, untrustworthy, disloyal, or cheating
being overly forceful, heavy-handed, or extreme intensity
being unsettled, unable to control negative impulses

people everywhere are struggling with wounded emotions. their hearts have endured many negative experiences resulting in untold damage. the damage needs to be dealt with in order for healthy well-being to be restored. when it comes to emotional issues, people have become very skilled at building defence mechanisms, sweeping the issues under the carpet or pretending they don’t exist. these mechanisms inhibit their pursuit of happy, healthy living.

even though the damage occurs against your will, you do not have to allow them to persist, grow or control your life. you can begin to treat the symptoms before they become too serious – if you recognize the warnings. if the symptoms have reached a serious state, you can reach out for help – with prayer, talk to a trusted friend, or seek a professional for help.

we all are going to get a few bumps and bruises along the way. offenses will come. early detection is vital to the prevention of more serious problems.

last week, i recognized myself becoming less and less tolerant and a bit snappy.

i took my emotional temperature. i observed my reactions, my thoughts, emotions and behaviours.
i got quiet. i know that when my reactions and behaviours are a bit out of line – i need to adjust something. for the well-being of my relationships, i get quiet to prevent causing damage. it actually took me a couple of days to pinpoint the problem which is ok. i just guard my behaviours and emotions to keep them in better alignment.
once i knew what was causing the symptoms to manifest, i took action. i discovered that i had an agreement with someone that i felt had been broken. i could take control of the problem and address the issue.
i determined my role and took responsibility. i needed to accept my role in the break down. was it communication? or expectations? had i carried out my part in the agreement? was there anything on my part that needed to be taken care of?
i needed to communicate the issue and see what solution could be achieved.

when i treated the problem, the symptoms disappeared pretty quickly. ignoring the issue and pretending that i was not effected would not have returned my emotions to a calm, peaceful state. even if i was unable to completely resolve the problem, i am in control of my reactions and can avert negative consequences. i can’t control others but i can control myself and maintain my own well-being.

check your emotional temperature…your emotional well-being may be at risk…if it is…take action…today.

i hope to see you again soon,

what’s all the fighting about?

Posted on July 10, 2013 by Dee Clark

do you need to shift just a little?

the road to the happiness you are looking for is easily found

Posted on July 10, 2013 by Dee Clark

your weary heart may wish it would…

but happiness will not fall out of the sky upon your head.

happiness is within your grasp

it’s the ability to take action.

the key is in your hands.

the seduction of foolishness

Posted on July 9, 2013 by Dee Clark

alone (Photo credit: dragonflaiii)

sometimes i get lost in the terminology when i read proverbs. today, as i meditated on the last part of proverbs 6 and chapter 7, i smiled.

sex gets our attention. don’t worry, i’m not going to be crude. however, marketers use sex to sell products all the time and people take notice. i heard a lovely lady once say that the Bible is quite racy.

well, Solomon wasn’t silly was he? he is attributed with being the wisest man who lived. i guess, he understood that if he really wanted to get the point across…we might just take notice if he compared foolishness to seduction. interesting.

i used to pretty much skip over the references cautioning the naive, young man about the flirtatious, seductive woman. don’t get me wrong, it is incredibly accurate wisdom. even in a very literal sense, this advice is highly valuable.

then i noticed an interesting pattern. an emphasis was presented on wisdom and the benefits of gathering it, searching for it and holding it close within the heart. following this emphasis came the cautions about the seductive woman and how destructive being enticed was to life. my conclusion is that wisdom is taught and calls out to us to make wise choices. in contrast, foolishness is seductive, sly and cunning – enticing us to make unwise choices.

when i think about it, this makes perfect sense. let me show you what i mean. as you read, remember these decriptions are literally wisdom concerning the path one will find if they decided to cheat on their spouse, or with a friend’s spouse. it’s not a pretty picture. however, the metaphor is there and fits for making unwise or foolish choices.

(Photo credit:Seductive woman with luscious red lips on bed. Flickr.com)
the scene is set as an empty-headed and empty-hearted young man saunters down the street in the darkness of night (proverbs 7). he comes upon a woman who cunningly speaks with flattery; offering adventure.

the darkest hours of your life is when you consider and entertain the idea of cunning, sly, and deceptive choices.
the amplified version describes this young man as empty-headed and empty-hearted. wisdom keeps advising you to fill your heart and mind with wise principles so that they are close at hand when they are needed. obviously, when the heart and mind are empty, you don’t make your best decisions.
the woman entices the young man with flattering words and adventurous ideas. sorry, guys, but a woman knows how to empty a man’s heart and she knows how to fill it, as well. when the heart is empty-(you can fill in the blanks because deep in your heart you know the extent you have been willing to go attempting to fill it).
learning, gathering and applying wisdom takes purposeful action. non-action leads you to a state of mind that is void of good sense.

the woman reasons, comforts, and appeals to the young man’s senses. she justifies the offer with reassurance that everything is in place for no consequences to be suffered. she persuades him to overcome his conscience and fears. she allures him visually and sensually to give in to his inflamed passion for relief.

your natural instincts for comfort and escape are powerful.

reluctant at first, the young man yields as if he were being forced because his loins and passions have been set aflame.

there is always a point of no return. you may know that a choice is not wise but if you entertain it long enough-weighing the risk against escape, you yield to a moment as if you have no choice in the matter. this occurs when we are not equipped.

what he did not realize was that he was not her first victim. she had led a host of men down a deadly path. a path that would cost him his life.

the cost is described earlier in the metaphor:

he becomes tortured by the consequences.
he is not innocent and there is punishment that is eventually paid.
he gets wounded and disgraced.
the reproach sticks.
no amount of begging, bribing or attempting to buy his way out of the situation will reverse the consequences.
the situation cost him his life. before he knows what hit him – he is overtaken with anguish. he will be sitting with his head in his hands wondering what in the world brought him to such a dark place in his life.

i have never walked this pain as a result of being unfaithful to my husband. however, i have walked this path as a result of being unfaithful to wisdom. i can’t even describe to you the panic, torment and pain that my heart experienced. i might not need to because you might be able to relate. when facing the consequences of a foolish choice, i have done my share of bargaining with God and others – if i could just be rescued from my foolishness i would learn my lesson and do things differently…”please, just give me a second chance!”

the moral to this story? yes, there is one. you and i have choices to make. there are wise choices. they require effort, preparation and determination. there are unwise choices, as well. they come to you cunningly, in the dark and appear to be a more pleasurable, alluring, easier choice…but they bite hard.

…Bind them continually upon your heart …

When you go, they shall lead you; when you sleep, they shall keep you; and when you waken, they shall talk with you.

For the commandment is a lamp, and the whole teaching [of the law] is light, and reproofs of discipline are the way of life, -Proverbs

sometimes life is difficult and can become dark. it doesn’t have to be. the choice is mine to make…and it is yours to make as well.

this is the follow-up post from Monday’s post on proverbs 6 concerning preparation. i do hope you have enjoyed them both.

thanks for reading,

arm yourself with preparation.

Posted on July 7, 2013 by Dee Clark

sometimes you get yourself into unwise situations. if that is the case, all is not lost. harder but not lost. proverbs 6 begins by siting the example of co-signing a loan or becoming a guarantor.

realise that you have trapped yourself with your own mouth (ouch!)
realise you have given some of the power of your life over to the person you helped (ouch!)
humble yourself (no need to get mean…you did this to yourself- i have done this a few times. what i thought was a heart of compassion turned out to bite hard).
beg…(not demand) the person to pay off the bill so you can be released.

most decisions can be reversed. the key is preparation prior to making decisions that will impact your life. sounds like my “trauma plan” philosophy. be prepared.

proverbs 6 goes on to talk about preparation. have a look at the ant. the way of an ant is a wise way to live.

there is no one over the ant giving it step by step directions of what to do to live well. instinct is a fabulous tool.
the ant prepares…gathers it’s supplies well before they are needed.

the key is not to waste your time when things are good. that is the crucial time for preparing and gathering knowledge, insight and wisdom…not sleeping and playing in the sun. we all know that all work and no play is not wise; however, all play and no preparation is worse. the result of the latter is you could end up with your life being stolen from you..slowly but surely leaving you helpless. calamity is a crushing weight that leaves the heart broken. i don’t know about you but i can name a few situations in my life that fit this description perfectly.

being clever, side stepping the issues, and attempting to get around doing things the right way my seem cunning at the time but those tactics deceive the heart into thinking success can be achieved when only destruction is ahead. the end result is a crushed heart.

7 of those practices look like this

a proud approach-overestimate yourself and underestimate others. this is such a vital key for bulllies and control freaks. do not fall into this trap. ummm…it doesn’t work. it might for a while but once the person you are attempting to control gains their right state of mind…you loose out.
lying. we all know the web that gets created when you decide to present half truths, lies or leave out critical facts as a protective measure. it gets messy real fast.
thinking and planning ways to get around the situation instead of hitting the issue head on. we can think up some rubbish, can’t we? does it ever work…i can’t think of any examples.
trying to pin the mess on someone else…blaming…shucking responsiblity. trying to deflect the spotlight from your responsiblity is an age old tactic. the fact of the matter is that truth seems to have a way of surfacing. truth rarely stays in the dark.
pitting one against the other. playing the middleman and getting two parties at each other’s throat shifts the focus but is a dispicable tactic. don’t…just don’t do it.

the heart is the key storage unit for wisdom. the heart must be capable of using wisdom or maybe it’s a God-given instinct that it possesses (like the ant). grab hold of wisdom, insight and the knowledge (of how to do things the right way) and refuse…reFUSE…REFUSE to be tricked into thinking any other way is acceptable.

Foolishness seduces you. fools you. tricks you.

i think we’ll look at that in my next post…this one has gone long.

to summerize, making wise decisions that keep your heart and life safe are easy to make if you are prepared with the right tools.

here’s my practical example. i’ve suffered many abuses along my journey (& maybe-probably-you have, too). one of the things i attributed it to was that i didn’t protect myself by speaking up- having a voice. therefore, i conceived a plan in my heart that i would speak up for myself no matter what. fair enough, right? what I didn’t expect was that in doing so i often spoke out of disrespect (especially when men were involved). did you know that the number one need of women is love? i knew it because i am a woman. did you know the number one need of a man is respect? i obviously didn’t. ☺ so, i had my voice spouting its venom to my husband coated in disrespect and man, did it back fire! when i adjusted my approach (not my goal of having a voice) to a respectful way of dealing with issues…i have been amazed at how many of the issues, i deemed vital to resolve, have been. I might add, they have been resolved without confrontation. dah! what do the Pinterest pinners say? “why didn’t I think of that?” because foolishness is seductive…and preparing for life with understanding is wise!

well, i lost this post yesterday because of a dumb mistake but rethinking it..i’m glad…😍

i hope you find this helpful! let me know if it was. i do enjoy hearing your kind feedback!