Stop breathing Carbon Monoxide…”Encouragement is the oxygen of the soul”

Posted on June 20, 2013 by Dee Clark

is your soul showing high levels of toxicity?

disappointment

anger

frustration

negativity

lack of confidence

encouragement really is the oxygen of the soul.

detox your soul.

“confidence – the state of feeling certain about the truth of something” -make sure what you are breathing into your soul is truth.

encourage yourself. your voice is the most important voice you listen to. make sure you are breathing “oxygen” into your soul instead of carbon monoxide (which can be deadly).

detox your relationships.

the people around you are looking for significance just as you are. encourage them. you will be cultivating healthier relationships.

there is a lot of hype right now concerning detoxing the body. there are simple steps you can take to create more balanced health.

in the same way, you can detoxify your emotional health and get rid of the toxic elements of your emotional well-being.

encouragement is a great place to start.

you possess this ability. it’s up to you to believe in yourself, first.

then, you can sow the kindness of encouraging others…and you will reap encouragement.

I am significant.

I matter.

I am important.

and this is also true for you!

see you soon,

there is always a way when problems feel too big

Posted on June 18, 2013 by Dee Clark

i had never known such terror as i felt that day standing in front of the Red Sea. my body physically trembled and i could not prevent it.

i loved this man of mine but at that moment i wondered if he had lost his mind. everything in me wanted to scream ,”what are we going to do? they’re coming. there’s no place to go!” the words wouldn’t come because every part of my being felt paralysed. the army was closing in. so many horses and chariots. slaughter was certain. no weapons and no way of escape. only the expanse of the sea before me and the longing of my heart for home.

it wasn’t home exactly but it was where my husband’s heart longed to be. there he was sure he could make his dream come true -freedom. even the cruelty of the masters seemed more comforting than standing here waiting for my family and our people to be destroyed. my heart had not even fully finished celebrating the freedom we had longed for…begged for…prayed for. now this.

he just stood there calmly, as if he couldn’t hear the screams of terror from the crowd. he had been so sure in his heart that “this” was his reason for existence. he had never been so sure of anything in all of his life. i simply followed because my heart so completely trusted that magnificent man. it may cost me my life, this burning love of mine, it may now cost me my life.

he stood for so long. silent. his face turned to heaven. peaceful. i just did not understand. the closer the enemy got…the thicker the cloud of dust, the less I could breath as if the fear where choking me.

i whispered, “what are we going to do?”

he simply replied, “deliverance is promised. He will make a way.”

how? how would there be way. there was no way out…only the sea ahead, certain death behind…how would he make a way?

he stepped behind me and stood upon the slippery rocks. I couldn’t hear his words but i’m certain he was praying.
then he lifted his staff. strange things happened when he took that stick in his hand. he raised it high and as the waves crashed against the rock, he lowered it.

i heard the pace of the army slow…astonishment filled the air. i closed my eyes and slowly opened them just in case i was dreaming. I wasn’t.

the way to safety was before us. i wouldn’t have believed it had i not been standing right there. where there was no way just moments before…though fear had almost consumed me…when my future was all but ended…

he climbed down from that rock, came- took my hand, and smiled as he said, “I told you, deliverance was promised. there had to be a way.” together we stepped out onto to the pathway…we were free.

…when your heart is sure there is no way out…believe me,help is always near!

there is a safe place…in the cleft of the Rock

Posted on June 17, 2013 by Dee Clark

Rock of Ages,
cleft for me,
let me hide myself in Thee.
(Augustus Toplady)

happy father’s day

Posted on June 17, 2013 by Dee Clark

His steps are slower, laboured

No desire for using a cane

His hair is white as snow

A crown of wisdom gained

His heart is filled with memories

Love, he longs to share

Cherishing the moments

His eyes oft fill with tears

He lived & loved & worked to build

Foundations strong and clear

alive within his children’s heart

Beyond his journey here.

I love you, Daddy!

Reflections of the heart

Posted on June 17, 2013 by Dee Clark

As the water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart. -Proverbs

a little salute to those inspiring my blogging journey

Posted on June 16, 2013 by Dee Clark

Cover of Pay it Forward

i blogged yesterday about focusing the mind. one of the elements on my list to focus on was- “whatever is worthy of deep respect”. i am blessed to have many things both great an small that are worthy of respect in my life.

i re-watched the movie, Pay It Forward, today. the story is about a 7th grade boy who is asked to do a social studies assignment. the teacher asks the students to “backflip” the world into something better. the children are young so the teacher’s expectation is not high. however, Trevor (who has every reason to believe the world to be completely harsh and unchangeable), decides to help three people in need. instead of allowing them to “repay” his kindness, he asks them to “pay it forward” by doing something kind for three people and asking them to do the same. Trevor is convinced that his assignment was a major “fail” even though his teacher grades him on his effort and he gets an “A”. as the movie continues, it becomes apparent to Trevor, his mom and his teacher that the impact of this assignment reached further than any of them imagined it could. Trevor says in the movie that he thinks it’s because people are afraid that what they have to give will not matter so they allow fear to shut them down.

i am an infant in the blogging world. i have no idea how to even get up on my feet as yet. at the moment, my eyes are consuming the world around me in fascination. i am intrigued. i am challenged. i am curious.

Mayi Carles has inspired me. her warm, enthusiastic approach brightens my heart. although extremely different from my approach, she has set me on an exploration within my heart for enthusiasm. you should check out her blog on voicing- powerful, fun, encouraging. she has no idea the level of inspiration she has sparked in the heart of a woman at the bottom of the world. lol. i provide my thanks, click “like” and share a comment yet the depth of her impact (and the paths it will take me down) can not be conveyed. she will live in my thoughts for years to come. could she have imagined that when she began? probably not.

Kim (KBT) inspired me to grab hold of my love for photography as a creative expression. i realized after reading her blog on “faking it” that although i am not a professional, allowing this interest to flow through my daily life allows me to express my heart creatively. my creativity has sky rocketed. through the lens of my camera, i experience the world around me in a whole new light. i have always loved photography. it makes my heart happy. i have had many days of great pleasure as a result of crossing paths with this woman who is sharing her gift. she reminded me in her blog on “10 easy steps to become a miserable artist” that comparing my expression with others is not wisdom. will she fully understand the impact my life will receive? probably not.

meanwhile,melody’s musings and Penny from the why about this have caused me to reach for maturity and seasoning in my writing. both of these woman demonstrate depth and excellence in their writing. they inspire me to strive for excellence in what i want to share, to develop more passion and grow. this inspiration is bleeding to all aspects of my life. did they hope their voice would find significance? i’m sure they did. i doubt they will ever truly see the full impact to the thousands of lives they reach. none the less, it is a reality even if they never fully see it.

i’ve met so many people who under estimate their supply. i think we have all been there. i once shared something simple with a group of friends. i gave it very little thought until one day i realized,” wait a minute. this has spread quite a bit further than i ever imagined!” i had no idea. i was a bit amazed. it opened my eyes to the fact that my circle of influence is real and the relationships within it pay attention.

the movie, “Pay It Forward” reminds me that i don’t always get to tangibly see, hold or feel the impact i am having. reminding me to make sure i don’t allow myself to stop being me because there is no immediate gratification.

i hope that you won’t either.

today, i celebrate and give well deserved honor to the bloggers who have inspired me. there are many more than i have mentioned today. i ask for your patience because i have not always pressed the “like” button or commented as often as i should have. i am still learning. i am still an infant blogger. i will find my feet. however, i want you all to know that nonetheless, the impact is there. i appreciate your contribution to my journey.

i also want my readers to know that i appreciate your contribution as well. the impact of you stopping in your day to read my blog means so much to my heart.

i encourage you to celebrate and honor the people who are encouraging you on your journey. smile at a stranger. reach out. express. impact. even if you never see the result. it may very well help change the world.

2 tips guaranteed to improve peace of mind

Posted on June 15, 2013 by Dee Clark

rock time. that’s the term my bff and I coined for quiet, reflective moments on a rock in a peaceful environment. essential elements: the rock, two open hearts, nature, our book of values and wisdom (Bible), a journal and sunshine (sunshine…beautiful sunshine…we all know how refreshing turning your face toward the warmth of the sun can be). man, would i love a little rock time with my bff…i miss you, lori!

nature will teach valuable lessons about peaceful existence…just watch. the bird in the photo above has stopped for a few moments of quiet reflection. he’ll be hurrying off soon enough but for this moment…just quiet, peaceful, rest.

it is very easy to find the heart and mind troubled, disturbed, and dis-quieted. goodness, the entire world around us uses our heart and minds to press us to dissatisfaction, longing, and desire. marketers count on the fact that the heart and mind will long for more and present us every message possible to convince us that we aren’t enough, don’t have enough, we aren’t smart enough, and that we lack “something”. think about he story of the garden of eden…that is exactly what the serpent used on eve. basically, “yeah, you have it pretty good. the garden is ok but it’s really not all that great because you don’t have….” boom! dissatisfaction hit her heart and thirst and longing for more filled it. it worked then…it works now. i need more money. i need more education. i need a better job or boss. i need a better husband. i need more blog readers. THEN i can be happier. what a lie. talk about throwing your heart and mind into a frenzy…

i have 2 tips that are guaranteed to improve your peace of mind. remember, i don’t believe in magic wands. i believe in wisdom and good ole elbow grease. rolling your sleeves up, looking at the pain and applying deliberate (on purpose) and purposeful (truly beneficial) action. would you like to hear what they are?

what are they?

so glad you asked!

Tip #1 : fix (focus) your mind on these things. yip (i love NZ slang), discipline. de-clutter your mind. out with the old-in with the new.

whatever is true (real~ genuine~ actual)
whatever is worthy of reverence (deep respect)
whatever is honourable (respectable ~ reputable ~ honest)
whatever is just (quality of being fair and reasonable)
whatever is pure (clean ~ clear~ absolute)
whatever is lovely and lovable (exquisitely beautiful ~ fair ~ inspiring ~deserving of admiration)
whatever is kind (nice~ good~ gentle)
whatever is winsome (engaging~ attractive)
whatever is gracious (courteous~ merciful~ benevolent~ benign)
virtue (merit~ goodness)
excellence (outstanding quality)

-paul to the Philippians

step one: fix (focus) your mind on this list of things by thinking about them, weighing your thoughts against them, and consider them.

step two: practice. any new skill requires practice. so -you practice. practice. practice until these things fill your mind and thoughts more naturally than worry, frustration, anger and whatever else keeps your mind agitated. while you are practicing, take notice of how your body, soul and spirit react to each type of thoughts. try this: think of a situation that really got you angry. rehearse it for a minute in your mind. did you feel all the reactions? pretty bad…negative. now think of the happiest moment you can remember in your life: rehearse it in your mind. did you feel all the good reactions? if i think about holding my daughter or one of my grand babies for the first time…i involuntarily smile. i can’t help it. those moments were so joyous to me. both sets of thoughts cause a reaction in my heart and mind. i don’t enjoy the negative reactions but i am uplifted by the good, positive ones.

result: peace(untroubled, undisturbed well-being)- will be with you. tip #1…can immediately improve your peace of mind for the moment. with practice it will improve your peace of mind consistently.

Tip #2: be content. be satisfied to the point of where i am not disturbed, troubled, anxious, or uneasy. two sets of circumstances present themselves in our lives…lack and abundance.

lack – living humbly in straitened (narrow, lean) circumstances. this one makes our skin crawl. no one wants to go without. in fact, having the basic needs of food, shelter and clothing are imperative to survival. when faced with this circumstance our instinct for self preservation kicks in and moves us toward ways to survive.
plenty-living well-fed, having sufficient supply with enough to spare. this one makes life so much easier. we enjoy and revel in this circumstance. it is not hard to have peace of mind in this circumstance. it does not guarantee peace of mind though. there are many examples of wealthy, miserable people.

the key is to find the undisturbed place for your heart and mind through contentment. i was amazed how content my heart was following the corporate take -over of our company a few years ago. yes, yes…there was anger and grieving and crying. i am human. lol. i told you in my overcoming addiction blog that i have had many negative situations to face in my lifetime. i sat with the emotion and shock when we discovered there was no way out…this situation was inevitable. once i had taken the time i needed to get my head around what i could not change, felt the pain and released it (crying, praying, screaming…there was a wide range of emotion)-i had to settle my heart. my heart was disquieted and disturbed. i did not want to live my life long term in this state. i enjoy peace of mind. i crave peace of mind. i began to go through the list above…

what is true? my life is not over. i can get up and start again. true!
what is worthy of reverence? the God-given blessings that i had enjoyed while i had that business…living in plenty…and that now i did not want to be a “brat” about difficult circumstances. respect!
what is lovely and kind? mercy. let me tell you right now…i had to grab hold of my heart and mind and inform them both that i fully intended to show mercy. non-negotiable…non-negotiable. revenge is an ugly, ugly trap. eats at you like cancer, too.
and on and on down the list i went.

it was a painful time. however, in the end we were debt-free. we didn’t have anything. we didn’t owe anything, either. i found myself very content without financial pressure. in the midst of that trauma, both my husband and i determined that we would never walk under the bondage of debt again. we were able to find contentment for what we had, when we had it ,in order to preserve that peace of mind. we began to practice lots of positive behaviours to maintain contentment and the resulting peace of mind.

contentment is a very difficult. practice. practice looking at and seeing what you are, what you have and where you are at the moment with respect and honor. decide that there is a right time for everything in life (under heaven). learn the lessons. lack teaches us to be resourceful and frugal; to appreciate and develop better stewardship. it helps us be empathetic to the needs of others and addresses arrogance. it’s not fun but it can be powerful.

take your “well-being” pulse right now? are you disturbed and disquieted? consider my two tips for improving your peace of mind.

please, share a comment with me if you find these tips helpful. Come back after you have practiced them. i would love to hear about your results.

peace,

a great way to fill your heart with joy…kindness

Posted on June 15, 2013 by Dee Clark

We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindness there is at last one which makes the heart run over.

Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

i might bend beneath the wind but i won’t break

Posted on June 14, 2013 by Dee Clark

when you have had to press in…

like pushing back against the wind-

pressure

uncertainty

schedules

new goals

expectations

improvements

say to your heart…

“I’ve got this!”

i might bend beneath the wind but –

i won’t break!

overcoming my addiction may have contributed to the hostess factory shut down…Part 1

Posted on June 13, 2013 by Dee Clark

well, maybe not…

follow me into my closet (watch your step)…

the closet was dark. it was a sanctuary of sorts. the place my heart could indulge without shame. shame constantly screamed at my mind. however, for a few short moments, i silenced the torment in that dark closet. i would make a plan before i emerged from this temporary sanctuary; there would be questions to answer. i’d think of something. for now, all i wanted was that sweet sensation of filling my mouth with twinkies, ho-ho’s and snickers. satisfaction would only come if my mouth was so full that there was hardly even room left for breath. yeah, sometimes there wasn’t room for breathing…i’d choke. i couldn’t let that happen though because solitude was vital to success…i did not want that door to be opened. no one could know. i felt the calm come over me. i would sigh. breath deep as if i was inhaling life itself. my eyes would closed to allow my senses to acknowledge every possible sensation. i was so grateful to be alone with this pleasure. 1….2…6…10…12 twinkies demolished. 1…3…6 snickers bars gone. wait, where are the ho-ho’s…what…where…where ARE THEY? they can’t be gone. it can’t be over yet. i’m not ready. i sifted through the empty wrappers. i shook the boxes. it can’t be the end. it can’t be the end. desperation was ascending. not one morsel left. nothing but the rubbish laying at my feet. panic struck my heart. those calm moments of gratitude were being washed away by waves of panic. i knew exactly what was coming next. forget the plan. the pleasure of the past 10 minutes vanished. the replacement tore my heart to shreds…i failed again. i’m an idiot. a worth-while person would be able to get her weight under control. i’m pathetic. why am i so weak? i get stern with myself. this is not acceptable! you did not deserve all those treats! you’ll have to explain where the groceries went (i’ll claim ignorance…after all, i’m on a diet. i won’t be suspected). where did you disappear to (just in my room…didn’t you see me?). idiot! what is your problem? my mind is racing in a hundred directions and not one helpful answer is to be found. there’s one solution. purge. get rid of it. i’d start by vomiting, and then make sure nothing at all passed my lips for the rest of the week. maybe, just maybe, it will prevent any further weight gain. most importantly…i will punish this horrid body of mine for being so weak. an acceptable atonement. punishing myself should make the shame stop. i won’t feel so guilty.

bulimia consumed my high school years and drifted like a ghost through my early adulthood. my physical solution to my internal problem of low self-esteem and self loathing. temporary and tormenting. a dysfunctional solution that became a way of life and my picture of normal life. a vicious cycle that wounded my heart further.

my parents become my accountability. reduced to guarding the bathroom door was not on their top 10 list of parenting duties. yet, they did. they were the beginning support and bless their hearts…i’m sure the day i was born… they never imagined the terror of those years.

addiction (according to Wikipedia):

mood altering substance or behaviour despite adverse consequences.

classic symptoms:

impaired control over substances or behavior,
preoccupation with substance or behavior,
continued use despite consequences, and
denial

not to mention all resulting little things (weeds) that were growing in the garden of my heart. when you plant a seed, roots develop, a feeding system is produced and “stuff” grows. in this case, the seed was self loathing. a huge root system of low self esteem developed. then any negative re-enforcement fed the root; disapproving looks, teasing, comparisons to a higher standard, and on and on. the weed produced…the “stuff” that grew…anger, resentment, shyness, conflict, jealousy, hiding/secrets, over spending on clothes, wounding beautiful women, wounding women in my condition (they needed punishment, too…i could cry thinking about this one), self-hatred (and that is the short list)…non of which were bringing the beauty i hoped for in my life.

i worked for years applying techniques, recycling back to bulimic like symptoms, trying something new, recycling back to bulimic type symptoms…around and around. the solution seemed to move further and further away. nothing worked and hopelessness flooded my heart. i was thirsty and every time i reached for the bottle of vinegar.

i don’t even think i recognized why i couldn’t get to the bottom line.

my awareness was limited to: body size = acceptance, value and love. (i really felt like i should be able to fix the body size issue. the lie was that fixing my body would fix my heart).

my problem = low self-esteem. to fix the problem i had to get to the root. discovering and facing the problem, honestly, gave me the freedom and ability to find skills and a lasting solution. dealing with the root gave me real power to kill the weeds (the visible stuff).

i wanted a “get fixed quick plan”. after all, in our society there are many messages that convey “quick” is possible…overnight success, miracle diet plans, get rich quick schemes, and on and on…so, hey, i wanted a quick fix, too. it didn’t exist. i just got thirstier.

it took deliberate action. it took patience. it took endurance….it took time.

i had cycled in this addiction for years. i needed time to unlearn poor behaviours and readjust my dysfunctional “norm” to a healthy “norm”.

there was a plan…..

come on…

we’re leaving the closet and hitting the track next…

join me…

check out my next post…and i’ll show you how my journey to emotional healing and release from the trap of addiction began.

please be sure to stop by the comments section and let me hear from your heart on this post. As well, if you have not signed up to share my journey…click the follow my heart button and you will be notified when new insight’s from my heart are available.

i look forward to seeing you next time,