unity – body, soul and spirit…the three working together for wholeness

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i have passed the 100 post goalpost for my blog. celebrate. celebrate. ok, i’m not throwing a party exactly. i am using it as part of my daily gratitude attitude. therefore, i am celebrating. if you have enjoyed any part of this journey with me…i would adore the fact that you smile at my celebration.

let’s review for a minute. in my posts 9 warnings that your emotional well-being might be at risk and what sea glass taught me about emotional healing, i have discussed how to recognize who needs emotional healing. basically, we all need healing for wounded emotions just like we all need physical healing from time to time.

today, let’s look at the function of our emotions in relation to our entire being.

when we use the word “I” to describe ourselves, most often we are referring to our body. i am 5’2″, i weigh (??…no, way am i telling you that…i’m not being that transparent today…forget it..lol), i have brown eyes, and brown hair. we are describing the solid, visible part of who we are.

DeezIphone 303

however, we are made up of three parts in our being. we sort of recognize it but most of our focus is based on the part we can actually see and touch. we have a soul/heart/emotional part and we have a spirit part to our being (both invisible). the physical part is easiest to relate to, therefore, receives most of our attention. although, a healthy, well balanced body is vital for the other two parts of our being to even exist, we must realize that without the three parts working independently in a healthy way – the unity of the whole can not achieve successful living.

the body functions so that we are mobile, can process information, and take action. in order for it to operate, the components must remain in a purified state. that is why it is so important not to put junk into it. my diesel van will not tolerate regular gas without shutting down. the body, we know, is the same. put rubbish in…problems occur in it’s ability to function properly. end of story. the body has a system that warns it of harm and danger. the system is called our senses; taste, sight, smell, hearing and touch. we utilize this system to alert the body of potential danger.

the spirit functions so that we can process moral right and wrong – so that our being can make choices that move us in the direction of success and a safe environment. it’s the foundation of our value system. keeping a purified spirit is also vital for it to function properly. now, i can hear some of you saying…well, if you are going to talk to me about GOD…i don’t want to hear it. that’s ok. i understand that there are people who don’t believe that God even exists. if they do believe in a god, it might not be what i believe. got it! please, no hateful comments. i will be happy to respect where you are. please respect mine. however, it does not change the fact that we have a spirit. that spirit is the part of our being that keeps us making choices between right and wrong. the spirit also has a system; faith, hope, reverence, worship, and prayer. this system works like our senses do. they are key indicators and provide warning signs of potential danger. example: don’t steal that, don’t cheat on your wife, don’t over spend or you will find yourself in financial trouble. it also is the part of our being that drives us toward worship, admiration and reverence. we all have seen the negative effects of setting our values aside in order to attain gratifying goal. i ignored my conscience many times so that i could eat rubbish that added many unwanted pounds of weight to my body. been there. done that.

the soul/heart/emotional part of our being is intended to keep us alert, growing, creative and enjoying our lives. the system the soul has for functioning involves our feelings. they are a gauge, as you have heard me say before, intended to help protect our heart/soul from damage. our emotions store information and play back messages that warn us that something is not as it should be.

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the unity of the three functioning independently but together is a confusing concept. however, we have to get our heads around it, somehow, in order to be whole and live the best life possible. any functioning body – human, relationship, marriage, business or team – operating outside of unity will not remain in a healthy state for a prolonged amount of time. it’s wisdom. period. we have all seen things fall apart as soon as unity does. have you ever felt like “i’m falling apart?” maybe…just maybe there is some truth in that.

when any part of the whole acts solely, independently and in its own best interest, the other parts suffer. this act is called rebellion. the action or process of resisting authority, control, or convention. the evidence is easy to see in light of visible things; society, governments, friendships, children/family and so on. we are all amazed when we see blatant rebellion. it’s a bit disturbing even when we can understand a part of the viewpoint behind it. the end result is usually devastation even when the point has been made.

my point today is that in order for emotional well-being to be maintained, we must unify the parts. each part of the person must function in a healthy way. when one or more of the parts are not functioning as they were designed to, we must take intentional, purposeful action to restore and heal the wounded part for the betterment of the whole.

therefore, emotional healing requires that we work on these functions:

  • cognitive – our thought processes and how we interpret information both past and present
  • spirit work – understand our value system and truth
  • emotional – what, why and how we feel
  • behavioural – our habits, actions and reactions

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when i was battling with bulimia, here is how the breakdown occurred. emotional trauma lead to my mind thinking that i was pretty much worthless. this message reverberated over and over in my life -usually because i kept telling myself i was worthless. a negative event would reinforce this “lie” as truth. faith (what we believe) comes by hearing. well, i heard the message loud and clear until all of me believed it to my core. this caused my heart to ache. none of us want to be worthless. we, i, wanted to have value. i wanted to feel accepted and significant. however, the message that my thinking was confirming to me was that every negative event in my life confirmed…no worth. it was very painful. by not adjusting the message to one of truth, i could not receive proper relief. therefore, my emotions were screaming at me that something was WRONG…”i should not feel this way”. when the pain continued, my behaviour and habits moved into destructive patterns that put my body at risk. i was attempting to quiet the screaming emotions. bulimia = painful event + wrong thinking (cognitive) + wrong belief (spirit) + painful emotions (feelings) + addictive or destructive habits (behaviour). it became a terribly painful cycle. a cycle that i desperately wanted help to get out of.

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want to know something cool? we all get wounded…yes! body, soul and spirit…we all have had wounds to these parts of our being! AND we all can heal. there is a way for healing to occur for all three parts of our being. there is a way to restore each part to proper, free function so that they can work in a united way called wholeness.

i hope you will keep following my heart as i share how this is possible.

tomorrow, we will look at what emotional wounds look like and how they interrelate throughout our being.

i look forward to meeting again. thanks for stopping by,

D

overcoming my addiction may have contributed to the hostess factory shut down…Part 1

well, maybe not…

closet/insgiht from a woman's heart

follow me into my closet (watch your step)…

the closet was dark. it was a sanctuary of sorts. the place my heart could indulge without shame. shame constantly screamed at my mind. however, for a few short moments, i silenced the torment in that dark closet. i would make a plan before i emerged from this temporary sanctuary; there would be questions to answer. i’d think of something. for now, all i wanted was that sweet sensation of filling my mouth with twinkies, ho-ho’s and snickers. satisfaction would only come if my mouth was so full that there was hardly even room left for breath. yeah, sometimes there wasn’t room for breathing…i’d choke. i couldn’t let that happen though because solitude was vital to success…i did not want that door to be opened. no one could know. i felt the calm come over me. i would sigh. breath deep as if i was inhaling life itself. my eyes would closed to allow my senses to acknowledge every possible sensation. i was so grateful to be alone with this pleasure. 1….2…6…10…12 twinkies demolished. 1…3…6 snickers bars gone. wait, where are the ho-ho’s…what…where…where ARE THEY? they can’t be gone. it can’t be over yet. i’m not ready. i sifted through the empty wrappers. i shook the boxes. it can’t be the end. it can’t be the end. desperation was ascending. not one morsel left. nothing but the rubbish laying at my feet. panic struck my heart. those calm moments of gratitude were being washed away by waves of panic. i knew exactly what was coming next. forget the plan. the pleasure of the past 10 minutes vanished. the replacement tore my heart to shreds…i failed again. i’m an idiot. a worth-while person would be able to get her weight under control. i’m pathetic. why am i so weak? i get stern with myself. this is not acceptable! you did not deserve all those treats! you’ll have to explain where the groceries went (i’ll claim ignorance…after all, i’m on a diet. i won’t be suspected). where did you disappear to (just in my room…didn’t you see me?). idiot! what is your problem? my mind is racing in a hundred directions and not one helpful answer is to be found. there’s one solution. purge. get rid of it. i’d start by vomiting, and then make sure nothing at all passed my lips for the rest of the week. maybe, just maybe, it will prevent any further weight gain. most importantly…i will punish this horrid body of mine for being so weak. an acceptable atonement. punishing myself should make the shame stop. i won’t feel so guilty.

twinkie/insight from a woman's heart

bulimia consumed my high school years and drifted like a ghost through my early adulthood. my physical solution to my internal problem of low self-esteem and self loathing. temporary and tormenting. a dysfunctional solution that became a way of life and my picture of normal life. a vicious cycle that wounded my heart further.

my parents become my accountability. reduced to guarding the bathroom door was not on their top 10 list of parenting duties. yet, they did. they were the beginning support and bless their hearts…i’m sure the day i was born… they never imagined the terror of those years.

addiction (according to Wikipedia):

mood altering substance or behaviour despite adverse consequences.

classic symptoms:

  • impaired control over substances or behavior,
  • preoccupation with substance or behavior,
  • continued use despite consequences, and
  • denial

weeds in my garden/insight from a woman's heart

not to mention all resulting little things (weeds) that were growing in the garden of my heart. when you plant a seed, roots develop, a feeding system is produced and “stuff” grows. in this case, the seed was self loathing. a huge root system of low self esteem developed. then any negative re-enforcement fed the root; disapproving looks, teasing, comparisons to a higher standard, and on and on. the weed produced…the “stuff” that grew…anger, resentment, shyness, conflict, jealousy, hiding/secrets, over spending on clothes, wounding beautiful women, wounding women in my condition (they needed punishment, too…i could cry thinking about this one), self-hatred (and that is the short list)…non of which were bringing the beauty i hoped for in my life.

i worked for years applying techniques, recycling back to bulimic like symptoms, trying something new, recycling back to bulimic type symptoms…around and around. the solution seemed to move further and further away. nothing worked and hopelessness flooded my heart. i was thirsty and every time i reached for the bottle of vinegar.

i don’t even think i recognized why i couldn’t get to the bottom line.

mybody/insight from a woman's heart

my awareness was limited to: body size = acceptance, value and love. (i really felt like i should be able to fix the body size issue. the lie was that fixing my body would fix my heart).

my problem = low self-esteem. to fix the problem i had to get to the root. discovering and facing the problem, honestly, gave me the freedom and ability to find skills and a lasting solution. dealing with the root gave me real power to kill the weeds (the visible stuff).

i wanted a “get fixed quick plan”. after all, in our society there are many messages that convey “quick” is possible…overnight success, miracle diet plans, get rich quick schemes, and on and on…so, hey, i wanted a quick fix, too. it didn’t exist. i just got thirstier.

it took deliberate action. it took patience. it took endurance….it took time.

time/insight from a woman's heart

i had cycled in this addiction for years. i needed time to unlearn poor behaviours and readjust my dysfunctional “norm” to a healthy “norm”.

there was a plan…..

come on…

we’re leaving the closet and hitting the track next…

join me…

hit the trail/insight from a woman's heart

check out my next post…and i’ll show you how my journey to emotional healing and release from the trap of addiction began.

please be sure to stop by the comments section and let me hear from your heart on this post. As well, if you have not signed up to share my journey…click the follow my heart button and you will be notified when new insight’s from my heart are available.

i look forward to seeing you next time,

D