a good use for the bad things in life

Posted on May 14, 2014 by Dee Clark

Not one of us is exempt from difficult times. There are days and events that take our breath away and cause us to think that we might not make it to the next breath. We gasp for air and wonder how in the world we will make it through the situation.

We have all been there.

Yet, here we are. We made it through…stronger, wiser and better.

Questions can plague us as to “why” and “how”. However, if we can take those events, those experiences and make something beautiful out of them…those events become the opportunities that cause us to shine and bring value to the journey we are on.

Don’t allow this difficult moment define your future. Don’t allow it to define how you view the world. Don’t allow it to cause you to give up and look at your journey in a hopeless way.

Be hopeful…that there is a way through…and no matter how difficult it is today…that you will take the bad things in life and make something beautiful.

This video encouraged and inspired my heart today. I hope it will do the same for your heart.

Kind Words Echo Endlessly

Posted on April 29, 2014 by Dee Clark

Have you ever had to bite your tongue in order to prevent yourself saying something that just didn’t need to be said?

Or do you believe that it’s important to say everything you think?

Kind words?

Or harsh?

Which do you want echoing endlessly in the hearts of the people you meet?

If you choose kind words (and might I add actions because I believe actions ripple), the choice is not about the other person, the circumstance or situation.

I understand that sometimes we must confront difficult situations. I’m not saying remain silent. However, the outcome is effected by how you go about the confrontation. You can be firm without being destructive.

Mother Teresa’s words often echo in my heart. Her words help me see how she kept her focus on her purpose, her life’s work and what she valued. They are speaking to me (and millions of others) long after the years she spent on earth.

Sadly, I am aware that I have echoes that I wish I had not sent out.

We can’t change the past but we can be more mindful of our future.

Words do matter…to others

But more importantly…to you and your journey.

Happy journeying,
D

the value of being kind when others aren’t

Posted on April 29, 2014 by Dee Clark

My cousin spent today helping an infuriating, older neighbour tear down a fence. It was something her neighbour probably would not have reciprocated. She also had to wade through plants that were not good for her allergies. When completed, her young daughter noticed and commented about her labour of love.

My cousin stated: “My hives are calming down, Ill be fine and Sarah’s response makes it worth it. She said, “Mommy, why we’re you helping her when she doesn’t even like us?” I explained it’s the neighborly thing to do. She replied, “But Mom I heard her talking to you in a nice voice. Is she going to be nice now? Will she be a friend?” Good life lesson to learn when I told her that wasn’t why I did it and she probably will not be a friend. Some people are just the way they are.”

Is it really worth being nice to someone who isn’t easy to be nice to?

I think the answer is definitely, “yes.”

People are all different, have differing value systems and differing historical stories that cause them to be who they are.

Reacting like someone acts causes me to be disloyal to myself and who I really am. I most enjoy being kind, generous, loving and giving. That’s when I’m happiest within.

I find myself frustrated having to live on “their” playing field. So, I came to the realisation that revenge is not sweet for me. Being “me” is…therefore, I live fully out of my heart and appreciate that they are different than me.

I don’t expect them to be me (even when it’s hard) or give more than they are capable of giving.

It’s taken many years to reach this place…

I really despise my “mean Dee” more than I despise actions coming my way.

I also believe love never fails (even if I can’t see the good effects).

The question is, “who do I want to be and what type of journey do I want to travel?”

Answering that question for myself helps me set my standard of behaviour. It is not an easy journey and it takes maturity.

Which do you prefer?

One perpetuates drama and the other brings inner satisfaction.

If you haven’t reached the goal of not allowing circumstances to turn your world upside down, keep going. Keep applying purposeful actions to bring you to the place in your journey that you most desire.

Have a great day!
D

Who we are with each other…how we show up…matters!

Posted on April 26, 2014 by Dee Clark

I was standing in the check out line the other day. I was in my little “Dee” world. You know the one, I was in a hurry; places to be, things to do. I was doing the mental checklist of what I had been able to accomplish and what I had to rush off to get completed before the time I had allotted got away from me. The check-out girl was chatting away and I was smiling and nodding but really, I wasn’t there. I was away with my thoughts.

An elderly lady walk up behind me in the line. Suddenly, I heard, “Put her groceries on your bill.”

It snapped me back to the moment and I said, “what?” The two women gave me dumb-founded looks. They had not spoken. The elderly lady walked away to grab another item and I looked at the check-out girl and said, “ok, let’s do it, put her groceries on my bill. I will pay for them.”

Needless to say, both women were overwhelmed. The elderly lady teared up and when she got over the shock of what happened, she was elated. She couldn’t believe her good fortune and began to say, “No one has ever done anything like this for me in all my life. This made my day.”

I walked out feeling like I was on top of the world. The cost for me was so minimal -much less than I would like to do.

I have a dream. I want to make a difference in the world. I have this idea of how that will come to be. The idea is so big that sometimes getting to that idea seems too far away from what my heart would like to do today.

That day, I realized that although I do make attempts when I can to emulate that dream…Most of the time, I am waiting for the “one day” when I can fully put that dream into motion.

I think I look longing to the future and forget that this moment is the one I have been given to live.

In this day, this moment, before me, are differing opportunities in the form of relationships. Some, I do not know personally- like the lady in the grocery store.

Others have included reconnecting to friends from years past. Catching up. Sharing. Lending a listening ear. Sometimes sharing an experience that may benefit their situation.

I have work relationships.

I have family.

There is a full world of opportunity right in my own back yard.

Those relationships are important; who we are with each other, what we say…how we show up! It matters.

The other day in the grocery store, I did not “show up” in a way that would lend true value to the people right in front of me…at least not until I heard within my heart to reach out and help.

It would seem easy to get on a plane and go to the other side of the world to a need-filled country and lend a hand. This feels like an important way to make a difference. Easier, in fact, than working in my own back yard.

My own backyard (my world) is full of hearts that are broken where difficult conversations need to be had and prickly issues need to be addressed.

Having those difficult conversations may not be as easy as acts of kindness to a stranger or feel as grandiose as feeding the hungry in a foreign country.

But by having those difficult conversations, dealing with those prickly issues, and clearing the air- miracles happen.

We all have difficulties in relationships from time to time. We offend someone because we wake up on the wrong side of the bed. We punish a work colleague because they were recognized for a job well done and we weren’t. The neighbour drives us crazy. Family relationships become strained. Someone needs an apology or an explanation to help their wounded heart move on. Or a stranger is longing to know that their existence means something to someone but no one speaks up with confirmation.

Those relationships are the very ones that have been placed in our world and if we recognize the opportunity -we can make a difference.

Why wait for a future time to do something more important?

Why not look at what is right in front of us today and make miracles happen.

Maybe those miracles will seem insignificant to you and me but for the person for whom the miracle occurs…it could be life changing.

Don’t wait!

Show up to the relationships in your life in a meaningful way.

Clear the air, if it is necessary, so that you and the that significant person can journey together with joy in your hearts instead of pain.

It matters!

Dee

the best way to share riches with someone

Posted on April 10, 2014 by Dee Clark

take the time to help someone understand their value.

there are riches within all of us!

kids say the funniest things: my day at school

Posted on April 1, 2014 by Dee Clark

i have two grand children: Jake almost 7 yrs old and Ella who just turned 6 yrs old.

i started volunteering today at my grand children’s school. apparently, it’s not common in NZ schools to have parent volunteers. the children were amazed to have a new face in their classrooms. it seemed even more intriguing to them since i was a grand parent.

i thought i would share some of the funny things the children said to me today.

i truly enjoyed myself and look forward to going back.

the cute things children said to me today:
1. Who are you and why are you here?

2. Teacher: Jake, would you like to tell the class who this is and why she is here? Jake: This is my great grandma. She’s here to help us do fun stuff. If she says to us to us to read a book, should we say yes or no?

3. Boy: That girl likes me! (Me:she does? How do you know?) boy: cause I’m hot.

4. (Girl swinging from the monkey bars): I’m having a break from school for a while…I’m too tired for school.

5. Are you sure you are jake’s great grandma? My great grandma is real old. I think she’s like 50 or something. How old are you? (Jake: in 1 more year she will be as old as my mom!) (I’m 53 and my daughter is 25!)

6. girl: I have a really big house. We need lots of room because my grandma lives with us and she takes up a lot of room. If she would move out we wouldn’t have to live in a big house anymore.

7. Me to a little boy with hair the color of Ella’s: it looks like you and Ella have been coloring out of the same crayon box. Little boy: yip! We have the best color. (They both have red hair).

8. I asked if someone could show me where the restroom was. My grandson volunteered to show me where to find it. A little girl said to me: it’s probably better if you use the girl one. (I assured her i would make sure he showed me to the right one).

9. Standing at the restroom door one little girl says to me: look, if there are wees on the seat, just wipe it off with your hand. No worries.

your life will not go unnoticed -i will notice it.

Posted on March 28, 2014 by Dee Clark

acts of kindness opportunity: one person can’t do everything but everyone can do something.

Posted on March 22, 2014 by Dee Clark

I’d like to introduce you to my friend from college Boone Bureenok.

I met Boone when I was in Bible College.

He returned home after school and is now pastoring a church in his homeland which runs an orphanage.

They provide a home for children whose families are unable to care for them for a variety of reasons.

Boone’s heart is heavy.

He needs help to save their church, property & orphanage.

There is much going on Thailand at the moment as we can see from a distance via the news.

Firstly, he has asked for prayer. The dream he has to provide a home to orphan children is under threat.

The weight of responsibility in itself will be great.

Secondly, the bank has required that he meet a $3800 payment by 21 March 2014.

To many this does not seem like an overwhelming amount but for a small orphanage in Thailand in might as well be millions.

To date they have raised $2000 and they still need $1200.

Another college friend, Dora Walker, has put together a plea for help from fellow Tomlinson College Alumni.

Dora and I talked the other day and we concluded that maybe we as individuals can’t do everything but everyone can do something.

It is this simple. To raise the remaining $1200 by the deadline it would take:

100 people who could give $12 each.

In NZ, that is less than the cost of a meal out.

Boone has a pay pal account set up and everyone can use his email address if they are able to give.

Many of us around the world are blessed to be able to hold our children close and feed them their favourite meal today.

I think we could honour that blessing by taking advantage of this act of kindness opportunity and sharing with children who do not have what we have today.

I have been blogging now for almost a year. My heart’s desire was to be able to reach out to the hurting hearts of this world.

Although, I am not known to ask for money, I am asking today that you once again…

look inside your heart…

does this situation speak to your heart and can you help?

if you can please give generously.

you can contact Boone via email to donate directly at boone180001955@gmail.com.

Remember, no act of kindness, no matter the size, goes unnoticeable or unrewarded.

God Bless!

A Secret About “That Woman” in Your Life

Posted on March 21, 2014 by Dee Clark

i love this photo. this is my maternal grandmother driving a tractor on the family farm.

i don’t think i could drive a tractor to save my life. i have excuses like i’m so short that i can’t see important things around me and i have been known to run over things in a big vehicle, let alone a big tractor.

but, i’m not afraid to roll my sleeves up and get my hands dirty. i mean, really dirty! eww, some if the jobs I have agreed to do for the sake of my family and family business makes my head spin sometimes.

want to know a secret about women?

a woman will give you everything she’s got to give!

she will!

she will get up early, work her fingers to the bone, give every last ounce of strength she can muster in her day and collapse only after everyone else is fully looked after knowing within a few hours (if she gets a few hours of uninterrupted sleep) she will start all over again.

she does it because of the deep well of love that resides in her heart.

i have been reading so many posts, blogs, notes, and tweets from exhausted women all over the world. these women are assisting hard working men, growing children, people who are unable to help themselves, elderly family members, charities and friends.

they give and give…

what would your world be like without “that women” who keeps it flowing so seemlessly?

the secret is that women will give to you beyond what you can imagine -you don’t have to manipulate or extract it from her! in return, her heart needs your respect, love and appreciation.

respect, love and appreciation will fuel her in ways that not even she understands.

celebrate her!

cherish her!

hug her!

and today (if not everyday!)..,

thank her.

because she is aiding your success, one tiny, exhausting task at a time!

and believe me…it’s no small thing…until those tiny tasks land in your lap and you need to fill her shoes.

i give honor to my grandmothers, my aunts, my cousins and MY MOTHER (whose shoes i’ll never properly fill), my friends, and readers who give and have given so selflessly to make life more successful.

you are awesome!
D

Weekly Photo Challenge: Inside

Posted on March 20, 2014 by Dee Clark

this flower is commonly called a red hot fire poker in New Zealand. stems shoot out from within draping green foliage.

it is one of my favourite NZ plants.

when we moved into our little cottage, i was pleased to see one in the gardens.

inside the foliage of this beautiful plant lives a colony of snails.

by now you have probably guessed that i am not a seasoned gardener.

as i found these tiny little creatures fascinating.

emerging from inside their portable homes, to enjoy the sunlight…

or so i thought!

even though they are considered a garden pest, i delighted in photographing their journeys inside my plant that day.

since many of my blogs deal with the things we find inside the heart, i compared how i looked at these creatures as adorable, harmless little beings. the truth is that they are not harmless if i want my plant to flourish and grow. in the same way, we can allow things to co-exist deep inside our hearts that seems harmless; have been there for a long time and we’ve grown used to their presence; or might even appear to be adorable at first glance but allowing them to remain there, inside of our hearts, will prevent growth. they might cause damage even if it is ever so slightly at first.

i suppose i will have to address the gardening issue but for today, these little creatures are a part of my submission for The Weekly Photo Challenge.

Enjoy.