inquisitive minds…have to know

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as i venture along this journey of mine, i find it helpful to learn what other women have done that relate to what i might be going through at any given moment.

this is not unusual, really. many of us reach out to others during trying times for advice, grab someone to share what we have accomplished and learn from the successes and failures of others.

today, i was taking a look at Eve. you know, the first woman mentioned in the Bible. some of you may not believe she existed. you may think of her as a mythical character. even with that train of thought, many people look at fairy tales, myths, novels, etc. to find expressions and similarities of their own personalities, hopes dreams and creativity.

i tend to believe she was real. i believe in creation.

therefore, i like to think that i can discover important truths about myself and the way i was created by looking at her life.

she was first named ishah meaning woman. Adam named her. it was the job he was given…name the creatures within the garden. he chose this name because she was formed from a part of his being.

as i looked at her activity within the garden, these words stood out in my mind: explores, interrogates, decisive, independent, curious, tricked, victimized, felt victimized, trusting, tests boundaries, willingness to try something new, willingness to disobey, minimize consequences, desires the forbidden, and ability to effect major/impacting change.

i had to chuckle.

although, along my journey, my goal has been to discipline some of these attributes…i could relate!

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let me just say… to any gentleman who might be cheering at this moment and pointing even a jesting finger to say that he can relate because some female in his life shows many of these attributes and that Eve was the beginning of all of mankind’s problems…”settle down”! lol. i am well aware that we women can be troublesome at times but i’m not debating, confirming or addressing the “it’s all the woman’s fault” mind set here.

i am encouraging women to take an objective look at themselves…and you’re not helping. lol

Eden means to be fruitful or plentiful. A delightful place; a paradise. A state of innocence, bliss, or ultimate happiness.

i don’t know about you but i don’t live in Eden. however, there i something deep down in my heart that searches for Eden in my life.

therefore, i find myself on an exploration. do you?

i want to know the “keys” to plenty. i look for delight for my senses, my environment and experiences. i love the idea of paradise even  if it’s on a holiday or vacation. i want to be happy. i want to disconnect from the things that prevent happiness and pursue the ones that will provide it. i want bliss in my relationships.

so, i explore all of the possibilities. will more education help me attain plenty? will better work ethic help? how can i manage stress, conflict, difficulties and barriers? i read, i search the internet, i have deep and meaningfuls with my girlfriends.  i am exploring.

when i come across something that seems reasonable, i am not afraid to try something new. when i say reasonable, do you know how many things sound reasonable? i am pretty trusting (ok, if you insist on naïve, fine) and i really do not expect to be taken for a fool, tricked or victimized. so, when i get information that sounds reasonable…why not give it a try?

in fact, i can get an idea in my head and the process starts. i am curious. i wonder, i think it over, i dream about it. i look at it (from a few angles-don’t want to get too quirky about it because after all…i’m planning to give this idea a go and i don’t really want to be talked out of it).

i find that at that point desire tends to take over. kind of weird when i think about it. but it does. i’m not really talking about passionate desire here. just desire… the “i want” place in my mind. once i’m at this place…it may not happen right away, but seriously, i’m going to give it my best effort to make it happen.

that is when i interrogate. shhh! don’t tell my husband i am saying this because he tells me all the time that i ask so many question about things that it can begin to feel like an interrogation. lol…funny but maybe NOT.

i want to know, “well, what if we…” and the reply comes. no, not good enough…”how about…” the reply…ummm, “you are not getting it, i think that if….” and when i have really got something stuck in my brain, if i don’t get co-operation, i have been known to decide to just go ahead and do it myself! (remember the words that i said came to mind earlier? decisive, independent, willingness to test the boundaries?)

whew! sometimes i get lucky and it works out. other times, well, let’s just say i have learned that i don’t exactly like the taste of crow.

some of those decisions have brought a myriad of change to my life. again, some good…some not so much.

while these attributes can at times get us women into trouble, they are strengths as well.

it is because we are creative, curious and desire that we can produce lovely homes, nurturing atmospheres and organized, well functioning lives.

we just have to be able to apply the appropriate wisdom.

there are things that my family have to trust me on. when they are staring at food they have never eaten before or that is more healthy than other choices. i have researched and put in the time to prepare a lovely meal. when i insist that they put things away in their proper place (which i have prepared) so that when they need them next they are where they can be found. when i am cautioning them about safety/wisdom/common sense because i do not want them to experience pain.

the attributes that can get me into trouble, when used properly can make life easier, more balanced or effect a change that is vital.

that’s a good thing.

the results are then a more harmonious life. i think that was Eve’s purpose. to bring a harmony that didn’t exist.

for me, in my quest for Eden, that would be my greatest desire…to use the gifts that i have been created for to bring harmony to my life.

i have to tell you though, even when i am doing my best to apply wisdom…it sneaks up on me…

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this week, i got into my head that i needed a place for my dryer. in my new house, the washer attachments are in the bathroom and there is no place in there for my dryer. the garage has no electricity set up in it so that was out. there is a small room off the kitchen but i have it designated for an office where i can blog, do my admin duties for our business and well,…it’s my space. there was no other suitable place in the house for my dryer…but i eyed this little cupboard that housed the hot water heater. it was deep enough (well, i measured it in a woman-kind of way and it seemed to be a reasonable size and solution). i was just going to put it in there myself because it looked like a reasonable solution to my dilemma. excect, i had one problem. i’m short. the hot water heater sits in the bottom of that cupboard and where i needed the dryer to go was up high. ugh! i had to present this to my beloved. and well, let’s just say, he is not always easy to convince. i had explored my possibilities. i had made a decision. i had developed a strong (and i mean strong) desire for the dryer to be in that cupboard (i did not want it in the middle of the floor or in any of my well-put-together rooms…because it did not fit the décor). so, i started the interrogation, “dear, i have had an idea…”, “do you think, that possibly we could…”. to my amazement…he didn’t disagree. in fact, he said he would look at it. i have learned that that is a good thing…so, i dropped it until he got around to looking at it…after all, i could do that because not everything was finished with my unpacking, etc and i had a little time up my sleeve that i could slot patience into. lol when he did get around to it. he measured it first. like, really measured it…the way a man measures. you know what’s coming, right? in his estimation, it was not going to fit. excuse me? that did not work for me. not at all. nothing would do except that i see it up there! he had questions like: “how are you going to vent it? the door won’t close on the cupboard and do you really want that? if i get it up there, are you going to bug me to take it back down? couldn’t you put it on the front porch?” none of it mattered. i politely reminded him that it was just a simple, little, heart’s desire to see my dryer up in the cupboard. and much to my surprise, he did it…he lifted the dryer up into the cupboard.

and it didn’t fit!

what?

and of course, nothing then would do until he took the hideous thing down!

i’m typing this and i’m laughing at myself.

i’m also thinking that i am really glad that it wasn’t like taking an apple off of a forbidden tree or anything that would change the course of life!

it helps me to see my “woman-ness”…that there is a part of me that needs to be tamed, disciplined and guarded. that there is wisdom, real wisdom for other areas of my life and i can’t allow these attributes to cloud my decision making ability, my purpose, or ability to stand on truth.

what? the dryer? oh yeah, well, it is sitting in the kitchen…but, i came to terms with the fact that, hey, at least i am in a proper house and not the old smoko room anymore…that one little inconvenience was not going to turn my world upside down and….

i would explore with my readers…got any reasonable ideas i could use? any creative storage ideas for a large appliance that i want to make disappear but still keep handy enough to use it when i need it? can you help a girl out here? 😉

have a great weekend!

D

 

it was something the Lorax said

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i know, you can tell i had never seen the Pixar movie, The Lorax, until yesterday.

i have a confession to make: i think that when my children were little, i loved the Disney movies every bit as much as they did. i we owned every Disney movie made up to the point the kids seemed too old for them (about the time Shrek came out). i was gutted when we would go to the store for a special treat and i was told “no” a Disney movie was not on the list. sigh!

so, yesterday, when the grand babies were fast asleep, i was enthralled in this little cartoon movie that i had not yet seen. i might be 50-something but the little girl in my heart is alive and well.

and please, no lectures on wasting time…it was a guilty pleasure, yes it was…and i am not afraid to have one…and you shouldn’t either.

plus, i’m using it tonight to help write my blog…i know how to put a guilty pleasure to work…lol 😉

so, here goes…

there are so many things that we hold that seem, feel or look small and insignificant. the temptation to compare our small beginning with someone else’s full-grown result can just deflate the heart.

it’s not so much about what it is…it’s about what it can become.

an acorn…grows into a great oak tree.

the mustard seed (the smallest of all seeds)…grows to be the largest of herbs.

the tiniest amount of faith can do the miraculous.

growth is the key. taking hold of what you do possess…planting it (so to speak) -putting it to use…applying wisdom, knowledge and understanding…so that what you have can reach it’s full potential.

to see potential like this, you have to see with more than your eyes. it takes faith.

you don’t see the great oak tree by looking at the acorn; however, everything necessary to produce the tree dwells deep within that little seed…it’s all there. plant it, feed it and give it plenty of time…and all that it is meant to be develops and manifests.

do you know what is even more amazing? everything that you have the potential to become is deep inside of you…already within your very being.

so, give yourself a break…it’s not so much about what your are now…it’s what you can become.

that is marvellous in my book!

D

there is no change unless someone like you cares

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my grand babies are staying at my house for a few days while their momma is at school and stepdad is working. it’s the school holidays for them and well, let me just say it’s joy for my heart.

today, we colored, painted, went for a walk to the park and sat on the beach in the sunshine. i am always amazed at how content children are just knowing an adult is focused on them a least for a few minutes at a time.

when we were exhausted, we headed home for a few moments of rest. the kids wanted to watch a movie called the Lorax. it’s a Dr Suess creation.

have you seen it? I hadn’t.

greed drove an entrepreneur to deplete the forest of trees for the sake of profit. this changed the world for future generations. years passed with no trees and the benefits they offer; beauty, wildlife and oxygen.

at the end of the movie, the entrepreneur provides a young boy a seed so he can plant a tree and make a change for his community.

cute story.

at the end of the movie, the quote above was listed.

i began to think about all the potential changes facing the world today and the many reasons, both good and bad, presented for why they should be made.

both sides of the argument feel strongly that their proposed change has merit, purpose and meaning. and, they fear the opposite argument for change.

some changes will occur for all the wrong reasons and have a great impact for generations to come.

but rather than fear…care. care enough to seek out what contribution you can make…because there is one. whining, becoming the victim or allowing a bad attitude to set up residence in your heart are not the answer.

maybe you can’t change the entire world.

yet, the change you can effect will make an impact.

start by guarding your heart.

gathering hatred, resentment, bitterness, offences and judgement is like collecting garbage. as we know, the longer we hang on to it, the more it stinks!

carrying around the hurt is like carrying around a bag of stinking, rotting trash! and it stinks. just ask a trusted friend, everyone gets a good whif…you can’t hide it.

it won’t produce the success you are longing for.

no matter how difficult your circumstances, that of your community or country, you can do something. anything is better than wallowing in a pile of rubbish.

i have read heartbreaking stories of women in third world countries who continue to strive to do all they can with far less resources than many of you and i flippantly dispose of with very little thought.

even our worst day is a day many people in the world are praying to have the opportunity to have.

accept the challenge. just look for the impact you can make. care deeply. grab opportunities- even small ones.

because

unless someone like you cares an awful lot, nothing is going to change. it’s not.

one thing you can do is to encourage those around you who are having a difficult time. share your resources and encourage and support each other. build community and make it through the hard times together.

help each other keep the stinky trash where it belongs…in the can and not in your heart!

D

the art of being a lady

20131006-163705.jpgthis week I have been thinking about the term “lady”.

as a little girl, i dreamed of being a princess as little girls do. i fantasized about being treated regally, gently, respectfully. treated with a sense of value…

a little girl who couldn’t wait to dress up in high heels, don a gorgeous dress and be a lady.

i would parade around the house and attend pretend tea parties -pinky finger gently lifted.

as pain and cruelty, that sometimes occurs in the world, became a reality to my heart, i began to desire to become a woman…strong, bold and in control. the type of woman that would never again be walked over, dismissed or ignored. i built a hard shell of independence and scoffed at the weakness portrayed of submissive ladies, mindlessly doting over a stove with her apron hanging over her puddle skirt.

a princess, i would never be! i was not born into a royal family and the likelihood of capturing the attention of a prince was pretty slim.

as a young woman, my friends and i would visit the local “tea room” and for an hour or so pretend, again, to be ladies. when my daughter came along…i would take her and her friends to the tea room for an afternoon experience- high tea and lady-like behavior.

once i left the “experience”, i became “woman” once again.

i have a long time running admiration for women like Dame Julie Andrews; her pose, elegance, courteousness, and sense of respect toward herself and others. her world seemed generally a more pleasant place.

i realize that i had dreamed and fantasized of being a lady but had given the concept a bum-wrap in the way i was thinking:
Lady-like behavior is unattainable in the real, modern world.
A lady has to know all the rules of etiquette.
A lady is boring, she doesn’t say what she really thinks.
A lady can’t be fashionable. She has to wear conservative looking clothes from the victorian ages.
Being a lady means you’re old-fashioned and boring. Only grannies care about being ladies.
A lady is so feminine, she doesn’t like sports.
A lady is elegant but not sexy. She is not carefree and free-spirited.

as i thought in my heart…i was. thoughts really do govern our behavior.

is being a lady only for grannies? since i am one…you might think it true.

but, i think not…for a lady personified is a kind heart and a conqueror.

being a lady is simply having extended manners such as always looking for a way to be kind and generous, as well as being a conqueror in life (meaning overcoming struggles and rising above difficulties).

a lady has usually given thought and more or less developed an organized way to go about life.

because of my fascination with Dame Julie Andrews, i have watched her do a few interviews. i notice that people speak differently to her (kinder, gentler) and act more respectful around her…because she truly is a lady. she is treated royally wherever she goes.

have you known the woman who complains about how people are rude to her all the time? what she can’t see is that people are rude and mean to her because she was to them in the first place.

i think being a lady is an art.

whether by conscious effort or instinct, being a lady helps you be decisive and assured – of knowing how to go about your day, get around in life, what to do in every situation.

being a lady is about being kind. it is also about choosing to believe the best in others and yourself.

the more you act like a lady, the more you bring out the gentlemanly side of the boys and men in your life. when you ask nicely and gently, you’ll be surprised about the reaction it evokes in others. your husband or son might initially think there may be something wrong with you. perhaps they become suspicious, but you do not need to explain, just keep at it.

people will be relaxed around you.

when you feel like a lady, you’ll feel more beautiful.

this behavior can be developed.

often women feel fake, unnatural when they try to develop ladylike behaviour.

when change happens, you’ll often feel like everything is thrown off balance. you feel uncertain, may feel nervous and wobbly. that is simply the process of finding a new balance. tweak it, adjust and you’ll find the right balance.

eventually, you’ll stop feeling like a fake, because you’ve become a lady and you might even develop the courage to graciously stand up for something you believe in, or for someone who has no voice.

you will gain a relaxed sense of confidence, an ease about yourself. you will feel secure in yourself. you won’t feel the need to impress or respond to bad manners. YOu are gracious.

the key to learning is this: learn through reading, understanding, imitation, and practice.

with art comes value appreciation.

being a lady, is an art. i’m sure of it. elegance, poise, courteousness, kindness, gentleness, and graciousness.

it is a discipline.

a kind of order that sets us free to fly

let’s not let it become a lost art.

tea, anyone?
D

what does family consist of to you?

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i do a lot of talking most of the time…in person and here on my blog.

tonight…i’m asking a question. what do you think a family consists of? how does your family, culture or country perceive family?

i have to say, “i’m gob-smacked tonight.”

i could not conceive in my mind that there might be a difference in interpretation when one speaks of family. yet tonight i called my step son’s maternal uncle his family and i was corrected and told he wasn’t family. really?

in my family, we ARE all family…aunts, uncles, cuzzies, in-laws, as well as my immediate family.

how does family work in your life? is it different than mine?

is your immediate family all that you count as family?

can you help me out here?

mystified,
D

8 household tips and tricks

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my American friend, Phil shared a few helpful kitchen hints today on Facebook.

i enjoy any help that makes kitchen work a little bit easier to deal with. like, my new dwelling has a fan bake oven. it’s quick and we are really enjoying the taste of the meat that i have cooked in it. Now, you may know all about fan-baking. bare in mind, that i have not had an oven at all in ages and had to fry everything. so, having a healthier options but the added benefit of quick, delist meals has delighted my heart. ok, simple pleasures but nonetheless, i’m thrilled.

as well, having had my personal items in storage for the past three years, i can not sing enough praises for the way baking soda cleaned…well everything…it did not let me down plus it’s cheap, environmentally friendly and well, everything is sparkling!

i don’t have appropriate credits for this info but would willing provide it if someone knows of it’s origin. the original list was longer but i am sharing the great eight:

1. for less mess and perfectly shaped pancakes, use a meat baster. i thought this was great. it’s like using a giant eye dropper…more control, less mess.

2. when you are baking and the recipe calls for flouring the pan, use some of the dry cake mix instead as you won’t have the white mess on the outside of the cake after baking.

3. when you accidentally over salt a dish -adding a peeled potato will absorb the excess salt.

4. add a pinch of sugar to the water when boiling corn on the cob to bring out it’s natural sweetness.

5. headache cure: cut a lime in half and rub it on your forehead. bye-bye throbbing.

6. use a latex glove to open difficult jars. i love this one because i have small hands and i always struggle with jars.

7. have ants? personally, i don’t see them here like i did in the states. my last house in the states had huge fire ant nests in the yard. anyway, i digress-it has been said that ants won’t cross a chalk line. “put a line in the sand” so to speak and draw a chalk line where the ants are marching.

8. to clean the toilet, drop in two tablets of alka seltzer, leave for it for twenty minutes, brush and flush! the citric acid and effervescent action in alka seltzer will also clean the bottom of a vase, thermos bottle and it will polish jewelery. wait, one more…unclog your sink with alka seltzer. drop three tablets down the drain followed by one cup of vinegar. wait a few minutes and then run the hot water.

does it make you want to go clean or cook something? nawh, me either…it’s Friday night and housework can wait…..but….next time we do need these tips…we will be prepared, eh?

for now, go have a fun weekend!
D

how success is connected to stewardship

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“the one who is faithful with little is also faithful with much, and the one who is dishonest with little is also dishonest with much…if you haven’t been faithful with someone else’s property, who will give you your own?”

Jesus told a story about a manager who was wasting a rich man’s estate. he was about to get fired. he didn’t want to do a labouring job and was too proud to beg for a living. he decided to be clever. he brought the people who owed the rich man money and made a deal with them so that they would take pity on him (and owe him a favor) when he got fired. he was hoping they would take him in. he asked them to rewrite their contracts for less than what was owed. kind of sounds like some dealings that go on in the world today. there really is nothing new under the sun.

at the end of the story…we are told this fact…anyone who is faithful with a little- will be faithful with a lot. anyone who is dishonest with even a little, will be dishonest in larger dealings as well.

it is very easy to become disgruntled in the work place. be very careful…because as we know, where our thoughts go…actions follow. actions like discontentment, gossip, bad attitudes and if left unchecked…clever thinking…taking advantage in ways that cause us to be dishonest.

a person begins to feel untitled to waste time, make adjustments here and there…and some have been led to fraud of varying degrees. it’s dangerous to become so familiar and allow an attitude of entitlement to take hold.

the life key here is: if you can’t be trusted with what belongs to someone else…your success, goals and desire for your own property is at risk.

kind of a what goes around comes around kind of thing again…a reaping what you sow…another of those laws like natural laws that are at work bringing results good or not so good.

i am thinking about this today because i have been working all week on the house we are renting. this home is not my own. however, the person who bought it with their hard earned money, have honored me with the opportunity to use it. it is not mine…yet, the life skill i have just mentioned requires me to honor this property as if it were my own. my parents also taught me that if i use, rent or borrow something, to leave it better than when i found it. that way, there will be no conflict, when i have a need in the future or make a future request, i can be trusted again..

i want to build another home in the future…but for now, i must be faithful and show good stewardship over something that belongs to someone else. i show respect for what i have been given to manage. my success depends on it.

if you are entrusted with another person’s property…be faithful with it. practice good stewardship and you will see benefits in other areas of your life. you really will. it will cost you but the person who owns the property whether a car, tool, business, home, etc. paid a price, as well, and their willingness to share is a great privilege. as you practice good stewardship, you learn to care for what you desire to own in the future…which is good economics.

what better way to say thank you. what a great way to turn things around for yourself so that you might just become the lender in your future.

life really is about relationships and there is a wealth of wisdom that can improve them and your life over all.

your success truly is connected to your stewardship.

D