do you want to live a life full miracles?
motivate every action by love.
you will find amazing results.
you will find your is heart fuller, happier, and brighter.
D
Monthly Archives: August 2013
Together is My Favorite Place
i spent some one on one time at work this week with my stepson.
i listened a lot.
i spoke less.
i didn’t challenge his opinions.
i heard his heart.
i appreciated his uniqueness.
i accepted him for who he is.
i received his gift.
it blessed my heart.
together is one of my favorite places in the world.
D
listen to your heart
5 things children can teach us about succeeding
children are amazing creatures and we can learn some important lessons from them about succeeding in our lives and reaching complete well-being.
do you realise that children possess the key elements required for success within them from the very beginning of life? they do…instinctively. which means, you possess within you exactly what you need to succeed, overcome difficulty and live a whole-healthy life. i believe it’s not there by chance. it was by design! in fact, i’m sure of it. after all, if we look at nature, every creature and part of nature was designed to perform in every way exactly what it needs to for existence…perfectly.
and aren’t we the crowning glory of creation? the most amazing creature of all that was created in nature and life? why, yes, WE ARE!
this sends my mind down a reasoning path like this: why then, could i ever imagine that i am unable to live my life to it’s fullest? i watch little creatures like birds flutter about making nests, gathering worms, chirping songs, learning to fly, migrating, and everything they instinctively do in their little lives…without failure…and i (and you) sometimes question whether or not i can “do this”.
why?
as we grow, we become conditioned whether conscientiously or not by negative experiences and others around us. often, it starts when we are children because “conditioned” adults do not realise that these essential, designed elements need encouragement and nurturing.
there are 5 things children can teach us about living successfully and fully:
1. excitement. just stand in the midst of a group of children and ask, “who wants ice cream?” the group will erupt with excitement. let a child learn a new skill or draw a picture and they can barely contain themselves as they share it.
excitement is an instinctive element that acts like fuel. too many adults exchange their excitement for a more logical requirement of security. we don’t want to be disappointed therefore we stifle excitement until we are more “certain”. however, we still get hurt, disappointed and have disadvantages. excitement fuels our hope. we need to be excited about our lives. not allowing ourselves to “get our hopes up” does not prevent the disappointment…it stifles our creativity, willingness to try and keeps an under lying current of sadness flowing in our lives.
we can attempt to lead safe, secure lives expecting and waiting for guarantees but we will miss the opportunities excitement with lead us to.
2. persistence. everything we undertake in life requires persistence: losing weight, lasting relationships, financial freedom…and more. often, we give up before we reach the goal because it feels too difficult.
my granddaughter was here last night for my birthday. this is her approach:
Ella: “DD, can I have a milo? (NZ hot chocolate)
Me: “sure, give me a minute and let me finish this then I’ll make you one”.
(seconds go by)
Ella: “milo please”
i repeat my first reply which she accepts.
(seconds go by again)
Ella: “aren’t you going to make my milo?”
if I managed to get through 1complete minute to finish the task…she will have asked for the milo a minimum of 10-20 times in the minute. persistent! until she has the milo in her little hands…BTW, then we were immediately onto, “can I put on your make up”…and she asks persistently until she gets what she wants.
now, as adults, we want them to learn patience, to not be so demanding and stop annoying us. the problem is, we are training them to set aside a vital key to succeeding if we don’t handle it properly. they learn that persistence equals annoyance and it is not acceptable.
i think instead, we should learn from them how to reactivate this key in our pursuit of successful living.
3. adventure. risks are vital to success. children have amazingly adventurous spirits. if someone says they can jump off the roof with fake wings strapped to their arms…they are willing to try. boys will eat worms just to see what they taste like. at 12 years old, i jumped off a diving board because the other kids said i would float. i took the risk and because i couldn’t swim, i nearly drowned. that fear paralysed my risk taking for the rest of my life. children don’t stop to analyse the possible pain that could result, they jump right in.
if you have a big dream, you will have to be willing to take risks in order to see it eventuate. you might experience pain but you might not…you might actually make that dream come true!
4. shake-it-off. watch a toddler learning to walk. he falls down, maybe a bit stunned, but he keeps getting up and attempting until one day…he is walking.
a child learning to ride a bike might fall off but they shake it off and learn to accomplish the goal.
as adults, when we fall or fail, we think, “how could I have been so stupid. i’ll never do that again”. we stop. many times we are told of inventors who failed many times before they found the “one” invention that worked and was a huge success. the key is to shake-it-off…get up (don’t stay down)…and keep trying! success, healing and wholeness will come.
5. faith. the final thing we can learn from children is faith. we all have it designed into our very being.
have you ever tried to argue a point that a child has but their faith into? my granddaughter’s teacher told her that butter was not healthy. since that time, she has refused to eat butter. my daughter told me that the other day she was trying to convince her it was ok to eat butter. ella finally dipped her little finger in the butter and put a tiny dab of butter on her bread. however, her faith in the message that it was not healthy has her convinced and she is not going to eat it. Lol.
faith is also the reason most children believe that on Christmas Eve there will be a visitor who comes down the chimney and leaves them surprises if they have been especially good. there is no need for evidence or proof of the possibility…just blind belief that it must be so…so much so that it alters their behaviour to ensure success…gifts under the tree!
you and i were designed with the excitement, persistence, adventure, ability to shake-it-off, and ability to have faith in order to succeed at forgiving, in our relationships, accomplish our dreams and whatever else we set out to accomplish.
our Creator knew what we would need to produce successful, heathy well-being in the same way He knew what the birds or dolphins and all other living creatures needed to thrive. He knew and He designed us with those elements knit into our being…
just watch little children…it’s there…even without having to be taught!
i think we could watch and learn. if do, we would discover some amazing keys to making our lives the success we long for.
isn’t that “exciting” news?
i think so.
D
getting from one happy snapshot to the next
hard days will come
hold on
never run
you’ll make it through
you always do
head hung low in dark of night
but tomorrow brings a shining light
the sun returns
perspectives new
you’ll smile again
with hope renewed
The Key To Being Special
the #1 way to drive out the fear rejection
does that feel like i’ve suggested that you cut your arm off?
to be honest, sometimes it does. fear is such a paralysing force. our head says, “yes, i agree. that is an amazing principle to live by. i’m inspired. yes, i will give acceptance. I will then reap what i sow.”
Then, maybe even before you finish reading this post, “bam” someone is all rude, annoying and another inspiration comes to mind…something about letting someone have it, right in the face.
we have good intentions. we do.
it’s not about trying to be good. it’s not about ignoring poor behaviours. it’s not about trusting the other person not to ever hurt you.
why do we fear rejection and withhold acceptance?
I can hear someone saying, “because i keep getting rejected! And…(no) AND…i accept others and they just do not respond.”
i’m not talking about sowing acceptance until the next difficult person comes along…i’m talking about commitment to a value with a determined heart not to back down or compromise.
making a commitment that leaves no wiggle room for backing out.
i can feel the squirms. how? because i’m looking in my heart and i feel them there, too, sometimes. “yes, but what if…?” that’s the fear of rejection. “And if it doesn’t work…?” fear.
the law of sowing and reaping (an equivalent result for your action; what goes around comes around) works. period. it’s a law the produces every time. whether we believe it or not.
again, i can hear, “yeah, well, it hasn’t worked for me!”
look at how i’ve worded it concerning actions…an equivalent result for what you do.
if you or i decide to put acceptance and love into action:
1. it takes courage
2. it takes faith (to even attempt what
doesn’t feel natural or logical).
3. it takes action…consistent
action…not one time or only when it’s
convenient…(this is how sowing is
done).
4. it takes a lifetime commitment (not a
season, or once in a while…the
“time” component is all the time,
every time, always, forever, never
stop)
5. it takes harvesting/reaping…even this
is an action word. when the subject
is love and acceptance…i think the
first harvest has to come from our
own heart. otherwise, we give up at
the first sign of rejection, difficulty or
pain.
the squirms, wiggles and non-commitment come because we like to have a back up plan…in case, plan A doesn’t work or doesn’t work quickly enough.
therefore, acceptance with wiggle room looks like this:
“i sow acceptance…
as long as…
you are mostly just like me. i’m most comfortable with my thoughts, belief, opinions, way of doing things, & choices. are we clear?
good then i can accept you…
…if not, we have a problem.”
most of the population will reach for the easiest options.
people who are determined not to live mediocre lives and want success, are not afraid of tough choices, risks and the hard work required to achieve their goals…in this case, “getting rid of the fear of rejection by giving acceptance”…and making the law of sowing and reaping acceptance a non-negotiable part of their emotional well-being life plan.
so, what exactly are we accepting so unconditionally? certainly not every action.
we are accepting each other’s undeniable value and their right to respect for the person -they, we, you, I-were designed to be. allowing them to walk their own path, make their own changes and grow at their own pace.
truly, the quickest way to no longer fear rejection is to give acceptance.
it’s worth pondering.
D
6 potential risks to maintaining acceptance
hi, everyone. i have been a busy girl over the past week or so and have missed writing. i hope you have enjoyed the encouraging quotes in the meantime.
when last i wrote, my topic was acceptance. i had planned to do a bit of fictional writing to help me demonstrate the point but like life often does…things didn’t work out that way.
i’ve been thinking about women in the Bible because, after all, the point of sharing a person’s story is so that someone might be able to grab a few helpful tips- which i believe is why we have the examples found there.
we give poor Eve a bad rap. i’ve heard people talk about wanting to give her “what for” because of all the trouble she caused us women. poor girl. lol
the truth is that often we make similar mistakes (that have not been indelibly written down in history for all generations to judge).
we are not given a lot of information and details of her life, just a few key points.
therefore, i like to try to put myself in her shoes based on how things sometimes go in my life…and see if i can learn from both.
1. curiosity. i’m a curious creature. many of my women friends are, too. just try to keep a secret from us. curiosity eats me up. i talked to my daughter tonight who was so proud of the birthday gift she’s bought for me. guess what…her husband would not let her tell me what it was. 😉 I could tell she was excited and although, I controlled my curiosity (I WANT TO KNOW-even though I only have to wait until tomorrow).
in the same way, just tell a woman “no” with no explanation.
our curiosity if uncontrolled can set us on dangerous paths.
like…
2. desire. desire in itself is not wrong. in fact, it is part of our design but like anything else, if we misuse it, it’s not good. curiosity that turns into a driving desire requires attention. this is the driving force behind buying shoes that we can’t afford (anyway!), spreading gossip, and attempting to beat the odds by breaking “the rules” without regard for the consequences.
3. questioning authority. entertaining desire long enough can cause us to question authority…including our own. i’ve talked a lot about life values. allowing desire for instant gratification, things we have been told we can not have or things we have determined are not a part of our core values can drive us to ignore authority (or boundaries) irregardless of results. we become willing to compromise agreements, structure and discipline for temporary satisfaction.
this is usually the point where we reason with “someone” -not for wisdom but agreement -that maybe doing what we want to in spite of wisdom won’t be so bad. after all, how bad could it be? for Eve, surely dying was not really the result of something simple like eating a piece of fruit. what did it mean to “die” anyway? it couldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
4. lack of responsibility and respect. following compromise and subsequent consequences, we really begin to point our finger placing blame anywhere else but the rightful place…our responsibility. justifying our actions with blame seems to be logical to us for some reason.
and respect? well, “pity the fool” (did you hear my Mr T voice?) who attempts to hold us responsible for our actions.
5. pain. consequences cause us pain. we don’t like pain. rightfully so. this pain, as we’ve discussed before, can cause us to interpret many things differently than they are meant to be. we begin to feel distance, shame, and rejection.
6. fear. fear then attempts to set up residence within our hearts. at this point fear of rejection, as an example, can direct our behaviour toward rejecting before we have the opportunity to be rejected.
these 6 elements describe the process of events in Eve’s disastrous decision. although few of my decisions have effected generations of people, i can relate completely to similar circumstances in my life. I dare say, you can as well.
the key to maintaining acceptance of myself and then others, truly is to accept responsibility.
1. understand i am accepted. i am uniquely designed for love and by Love. maintaining a sense if acceptance begins here. then i must accept myself and know that i will make mistakes, be humble enough to say the words “i’m sorry” and move forward.
2. understand the boundaries and expectations. everything exists within appropriate, healthy boundaries. crossing the boundaries can be painful and sometimes fatal. just try to make a fish live out if water. it won’t happen. we live in societies, communities and within relationships that require boundaries, agreements, laws and structure for well-being. we may not like them but irregardless, they are necessary and for our own good.
3. i am responsible to guard my heart in regard to acceptance. not everyone is going to accept everything about me. however, i can produce acceptance in others in a few ways. i do not have to be dependant upon others accepting me. i do not have to interpret actions as rejection (even when it feels like it is). i can sow (give) acceptance and i know “what goes around comes around” or “what i sow, i reap”.
4. when necessary, accept responsibility for poor choices and the resulting consequences without blaming, distancing or rejecting. the consequences usually pass if behaviour is tempered through it. usually, there is at least a second chance offered. learning to humbly make restitution goes a long way toward restoration.
a friend of mine in the states lost her son because a drunken driver hit his car. the driver accepted responsibility & the resulting punishment. my friend and her family have embraced the driver and accepted her although the drinking and driving devastated their lives. they have committed to accept her mistake and help her through the difficulties ahead. rejection did not have to be one of the results.
we are amazing creatures. our very design makes us adventurous, curious and desire more. that’s a good thing most of the time. when we blow it -when pain comes- of our own making or not- our sense of acceptance does not have to be destroyed. we can keep it in tact and fully functioning. we can take action, guard our heart and protect our acceptance as a precious gift.
it’s good to be sharing my heart with you again. thank you for reading!
D
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