the danger of living in future hope

Posted on October 15, 2013 by Dee Clark

i feel asleep early last night and was awaken early, 1:30 am to be exact, by my husband who was unable to sleep. the weather is wild and blowing outside and i am wide awake. i decided to use the time to look at some women who over came unbelievable circumstances and brought change for others in amazing ways.

i was reminded as i read of an amazing woman, Harriet Tubman.

it becomes so easy in my day to day life to want to feel overwhelmed by circumstances. i am sure you can find it the same. i like to arrest those feelings by bringing a balance to my thoughts by reminding myself of women that i have known and women i have never met but can read about who displayed great courage in the face of trying times.

life seems pretty smooth for me at the moment, which is a welcome retrieve. i think it is in the really good times, when i feel strong, that it is good to add wisdom, look at how i address, process and work through difficulties. by doing this, i prepare, guard and fortify my heart for when life is trying.

as i read about Harriet this morning, my heart resounds with gratitude for the many blessings i have experienced in my life. i am reminded that there are women who have faced what i deem such injustice and yet emerged with triumphant spirits and hearts that reached out from their pain to make someone else’s life better.

this amazing women survived incorrigible abuses from a very young age. at the age of 5 years old she was hired out to care for a slave owners young child. if the child woke and cried, she was beaten. what in the world could a 5 year old child do to prevent what most infants do so naturally…cry.

early in her life she suffered a head injury inflicted my an overseer attempting to restrain a slave who had left the field without permission. he threw a heavy metal object intending to hit the slave, missed and she was struck in the head. the injury caused her disabling seizures, narcoleptic attacks, headaches, and powerful visionary experiences throughout her life. rather than feel sorry for herself, she attributed the visions as powerful revelations from God and allowed them to inspire her.

that in itself is amazing to me. it’s far too easy to accept a victim mentality and feel regret, disillusionment and accept incidents like this as a reason to become inactive, bitter and sullen.
not Harriet, she allowed it to make her more determined to put an end to this way of life for herself and if not all, as many as possible, of those who were suffering similar experiences.

she did escape. she freed herself from the torture. once she was free, she returned and helped 300 more slaves to escape to Canada where slavery had been abolished.

sitting in the year 2013, in my warm home safe from the blowing gale outside, i could think, “oh, that’s so nice. good on her! well done Harriet.” it wasn’t that simple. her escape in itself was miraculous. many slaves were caught before getting away and severely beaten-sometimes even to death. not only did she escape, but she went back for one. when that one was freed, she went back for another…and another…and another.

i wonder if as a woman living in 2013, if i might have escaped and headed for a warm fire, a hot bath and looked after myself? it causes me to wonder what deep of strength i possess and if sufficient strength does not exists…i must grow…because i desire to live beyond myself in service to others.

i remember asking God this week why and how people are born into the life they live. basically, my reasoning was this: i love helping people. i am empathetic to the suffering of others and want to do more than i feel i am currently empowered to do. why was i not born with more resources that would enable me to help more?

this morning, the question was posed back to me…maybe God is reversing the question on me: why was i not born into worse circumstances? ones that would create such a fire with in my heart to act despite my resources?

how many times do we hear the Bible, quotes or motivational speakers tell us that the way we think limits what we do?

by reading about this little slave girl this morning, i learned something about my thought patterns. this story helped expose something in my heart. don’t get me wrong. i do what i can, i reach out, i help, i encourage…but i was finding a discontentment setting in and a longing for the “one day”, the “if i won lotto, I could…” or “when business is better…” mentality.

the reality is that i have at this moment what i need to do my purpose. i must be faithful with what is within my power now. live aware. see with eyes that are open. listen carefully for the places that i am needed and can offer benefit.

i can’t do everything but i can do something.

the danger of living in the future hope of being able to do more than now is that we miss the opportunity that exists in today. big or small…the part i play is important to the one life or the many that i am able to effect.

we are not called to hopes of grandeur. we are to live and help the one. if possible, go back for the second. then back for the third…and when what we are able to do is completed, whether for one, 300 or many more, we move on to the next task.

it’s interesting to me, the things that we can find within our own heart. it happens to us all. we get caught up in the doing and sometimes forget…the why.

thank Goodness that we can be reminded by meditating on what is good and right and wise to draw our heart and thoughts back to their intended purposes.

think of some moments in your own life when you have risen to some extraordinary occasion, some emergency that called for you to behave in a way you would normally find difficult. meditate on this experience for a few moments. what qualities did you find that you did not realize you had?

those qualities are part of the resources you currently possess to do good in your life, to help others lives become better and to produce positive change in the world.

well, i might try to head back to sleep for a little while. i hope you have a great Monday or Tuesday- depending on where you live in the world.

thank you for sharing this part of your day with my heart,
D

inquisitive minds…have to know

Posted on October 12, 2013 by Dee Clark

as i venture along this journey of mine, i find it helpful to learn what other women have done that relate to what i might be going through at any given moment.

this is not unusual, really. many of us reach out to others during trying times for advice, grab someone to share what we have accomplished and learn from the successes and failures of others.

today, i was taking a look at Eve. you know, the first woman mentioned in the Bible. some of you may not believe she existed. you may think of her as a mythical character. even with that train of thought, many people look at fairy tales, myths, novels, etc. to find expressions and similarities of their own personalities, hopes dreams and creativity.

i tend to believe she was real. i believe in creation.

therefore, i like to think that i can discover important truths about myself and the way i was created by looking at her life.

she was first named ishah meaning woman. Adam named her. it was the job he was given…name the creatures within the garden. he chose this name because she was formed from a part of his being.

as i looked at her activity within the garden, these words stood out in my mind: explores, interrogates, decisive, independent, curious, tricked, victimized, felt victimized, trusting, tests boundaries, willingness to try something new, willingness to disobey, minimize consequences, desires the forbidden, and ability to effect major/impacting change.

i had to chuckle.

although, along my journey, my goal has been to discipline some of these attributes…i could relate!

let me just say… to any gentleman who might be cheering at this moment and pointing even a jesting finger to say that he can relate because some female in his life shows many of these attributes and that Eve was the beginning of all of mankind’s problems…”settle down”! lol. i am well aware that we women can be troublesome at times but i’m not debating, confirming or addressing the “it’s all the woman’s fault” mind set here.

i am encouraging women to take an objective look at themselves…and you’re not helping. lol

Eden means to be fruitful or plentiful. A delightful place; a paradise. A state of innocence, bliss, or ultimate happiness.

i don’t know about you but i don’t live in Eden. however, there i something deep down in my heart that searches for Eden in my life.

therefore, i find myself on an exploration. do you?

i want to know the “keys” to plenty. i look for delight for my senses, my environment and experiences. i love the idea of paradise even if it’s on a holiday or vacation. i want to be happy. i want to disconnect from the things that prevent happiness and pursue the ones that will provide it. i want bliss in my relationships.

so, i explore all of the possibilities. will more education help me attain plenty? will better work ethic help? how can i manage stress, conflict, difficulties and barriers? i read, i search the internet, i have deep and meaningfuls with my girlfriends. i am exploring.

when i come across something that seems reasonable, i am not afraid to try something new. when i say reasonable, do you know how many things sound reasonable? i am pretty trusting (ok, if you insist on naïve, fine) and i really do not expect to be taken for a fool, tricked or victimized. so, when i get information that sounds reasonable…why not give it a try?

in fact, i can get an idea in my head and the process starts. i am curious. i wonder, i think it over, i dream about it. i look at it (from a few angles-don’t want to get too quirky about it because after all…i’m planning to give this idea a go and i don’t really want to be talked out of it).

i find that at that point desire tends to take over. kind of weird when i think about it. but it does. i’m not really talking about passionate desire here. just desire… the “i want” place in my mind. once i’m at this place…it may not happen right away, but seriously, i’m going to give it my best effort to make it happen.

that is when i interrogate. shhh! don’t tell my husband i am saying this because he tells me all the time that i ask so many question about things that it can begin to feel like an interrogation. lol…funny but maybe NOT.

i want to know, “well, what if we…” and the reply comes. no, not good enough…”how about…” the reply…ummm, “you are not getting it, i think that if….” and when i have really got something stuck in my brain, if i don’t get co-operation, i have been known to decide to just go ahead and do it myself! (remember the words that i said came to mind earlier? decisive, independent, willingness to test the boundaries?)

whew! sometimes i get lucky and it works out. other times, well, let’s just say i have learned that i don’t exactly like the taste of crow.

some of those decisions have brought a myriad of change to my life. again, some good…some not so much.

while these attributes can at times get us women into trouble, they are strengths as well.

it is because we are creative, curious and desire that we can produce lovely homes, nurturing atmospheres and organized, well functioning lives.

we just have to be able to apply the appropriate wisdom.

there are things that my family have to trust me on. when they are staring at food they have never eaten before or that is more healthy than other choices. i have researched and put in the time to prepare a lovely meal. when i insist that they put things away in their proper place (which i have prepared) so that when they need them next they are where they can be found. when i am cautioning them about safety/wisdom/common sense because i do not want them to experience pain.

the attributes that can get me into trouble, when used properly can make life easier, more balanced or effect a change that is vital.

that’s a good thing.

the results are then a more harmonious life. i think that was Eve’s purpose. to bring a harmony that didn’t exist.

for me, in my quest for Eden, that would be my greatest desire…to use the gifts that i have been created for to bring harmony to my life.

i have to tell you though, even when i am doing my best to apply wisdom…it sneaks up on me…

this week, i got into my head that i needed a place for my dryer. in my new house, the washer attachments are in the bathroom and there is no place in there for my dryer. the garage has no electricity set up in it so that was out. there is a small room off the kitchen but i have it designated for an office where i can blog, do my admin duties for our business and well,…it’s my space. there was no other suitable place in the house for my dryer…but i eyed this little cupboard that housed the hot water heater. it was deep enough (well, i measured it in a woman-kind of way and it seemed to be a reasonable size and solution). i was just going to put it in there myself because it looked like a reasonable solution to my dilemma. excect, i had one problem. i’m short. the hot water heater sits in the bottom of that cupboard and where i needed the dryer to go was up high. ugh! i had to present this to my beloved. and well, let’s just say, he is not always easy to convince. i had explored my possibilities. i had made a decision. i had developed a strong (and i mean strong) desire for the dryer to be in that cupboard (i did not want it in the middle of the floor or in any of my well-put-together rooms…because it did not fit the décor). so, i started the interrogation, “dear, i have had an idea…”, “do you think, that possibly we could…”. to my amazement…he didn’t disagree. in fact, he said he would look at it. i have learned that that is a good thing…so, i dropped it until he got around to looking at it…after all, i could do that because not everything was finished with my unpacking, etc and i had a little time up my sleeve that i could slot patience into. lol when he did get around to it. he measured it first. like, really measured it…the way a man measures. you know what’s coming, right? in his estimation, it was not going to fit. excuse me? that did not work for me. not at all. nothing would do except that i see it up there! he had questions like: “how are you going to vent it? the door won’t close on the cupboard and do you really want that? if i get it up there, are you going to bug me to take it back down? couldn’t you put it on the front porch?” none of it mattered. i politely reminded him that it was just a simple, little, heart’s desire to see my dryer up in the cupboard. and much to my surprise, he did it…he lifted the dryer up into the cupboard.

and it didn’t fit!

what?

and of course, nothing then would do until he took the hideous thing down!

i’m typing this and i’m laughing at myself.

i’m also thinking that i am really glad that it wasn’t like taking an apple off of a forbidden tree or anything that would change the course of life!

it helps me to see my “woman-ness”…that there is a part of me that needs to be tamed, disciplined and guarded. that there is wisdom, real wisdom for other areas of my life and i can’t allow these attributes to cloud my decision making ability, my purpose, or ability to stand on truth.

what? the dryer? oh yeah, well, it is sitting in the kitchen…but, i came to terms with the fact that, hey, at least i am in a proper house and not the old smoko room anymore…that one little inconvenience was not going to turn my world upside down and….

i would explore with my readers…got any reasonable ideas i could use? any creative storage ideas for a large appliance that i want to make disappear but still keep handy enough to use it when i need it? can you help a girl out here? 😉

have a great weekend!

the art of being a lady

Posted on October 6, 2013 by Dee Clark

this week I have been thinking about the term “lady”.

as a little girl, i dreamed of being a princess as little girls do. i fantasized about being treated regally, gently, respectfully. treated with a sense of value…

a little girl who couldn’t wait to dress up in high heels, don a gorgeous dress and be a lady.

i would parade around the house and attend pretend tea parties -pinky finger gently lifted.

as pain and cruelty, that sometimes occurs in the world, became a reality to my heart, i began to desire to become a woman…strong, bold and in control. the type of woman that would never again be walked over, dismissed or ignored. i built a hard shell of independence and scoffed at the weakness portrayed of submissive ladies, mindlessly doting over a stove with her apron hanging over her puddle skirt.

a princess, i would never be! i was not born into a royal family and the likelihood of capturing the attention of a prince was pretty slim.

as a young woman, my friends and i would visit the local “tea room” and for an hour or so pretend, again, to be ladies. when my daughter came along…i would take her and her friends to the tea room for an afternoon experience- high tea and lady-like behavior.

once i left the “experience”, i became “woman” once again.

i have a long time running admiration for women like Dame Julie Andrews; her pose, elegance, courteousness, and sense of respect toward herself and others. her world seemed generally a more pleasant place.

i realize that i had dreamed and fantasized of being a lady but had given the concept a bum-wrap in the way i was thinking:
Lady-like behavior is unattainable in the real, modern world.
A lady has to know all the rules of etiquette.
A lady is boring, she doesn’t say what she really thinks.
A lady can’t be fashionable. She has to wear conservative looking clothes from the victorian ages.
Being a lady means you’re old-fashioned and boring. Only grannies care about being ladies.
A lady is so feminine, she doesn’t like sports.
A lady is elegant but not sexy. She is not carefree and free-spirited.

as i thought in my heart…i was. thoughts really do govern our behavior.

is being a lady only for grannies? since i am one…you might think it true.

but, i think not…for a lady personified is a kind heart and a conqueror.

being a lady is simply having extended manners such as always looking for a way to be kind and generous, as well as being a conqueror in life (meaning overcoming struggles and rising above difficulties).

a lady has usually given thought and more or less developed an organized way to go about life.

because of my fascination with Dame Julie Andrews, i have watched her do a few interviews. i notice that people speak differently to her (kinder, gentler) and act more respectful around her…because she truly is a lady. she is treated royally wherever she goes.

have you known the woman who complains about how people are rude to her all the time? what she can’t see is that people are rude and mean to her because she was to them in the first place.

i think being a lady is an art.

whether by conscious effort or instinct, being a lady helps you be decisive and assured – of knowing how to go about your day, get around in life, what to do in every situation.

being a lady is about being kind. it is also about choosing to believe the best in others and yourself.

the more you act like a lady, the more you bring out the gentlemanly side of the boys and men in your life. when you ask nicely and gently, you’ll be surprised about the reaction it evokes in others. your husband or son might initially think there may be something wrong with you. perhaps they become suspicious, but you do not need to explain, just keep at it.

people will be relaxed around you.

when you feel like a lady, you’ll feel more beautiful.

this behavior can be developed.

often women feel fake, unnatural when they try to develop ladylike behaviour.

when change happens, you’ll often feel like everything is thrown off balance. you feel uncertain, may feel nervous and wobbly. that is simply the process of finding a new balance. tweak it, adjust and you’ll find the right balance.

eventually, you’ll stop feeling like a fake, because you’ve become a lady and you might even develop the courage to graciously stand up for something you believe in, or for someone who has no voice.

you will gain a relaxed sense of confidence, an ease about yourself. you will feel secure in yourself. you won’t feel the need to impress or respond to bad manners. YOu are gracious.

the key to learning is this: learn through reading, understanding, imitation, and practice.

with art comes value appreciation.

being a lady, is an art. i’m sure of it. elegance, poise, courteousness, kindness, gentleness, and graciousness.

it is a discipline.

a kind of order that sets us free to fly

let’s not let it become a lost art.

tea, anyone?
D

8 household tips and tricks

Posted on October 4, 2013 by Dee Clark

my American friend, Phil shared a few helpful kitchen hints today on Facebook.

i enjoy any help that makes kitchen work a little bit easier to deal with. like, my new dwelling has a fan bake oven. it’s quick and we are really enjoying the taste of the meat that i have cooked in it. Now, you may know all about fan-baking. bare in mind, that i have not had an oven at all in ages and had to fry everything. so, having a healthier options but the added benefit of quick, delist meals has delighted my heart. ok, simple pleasures but nonetheless, i’m thrilled.

as well, having had my personal items in storage for the past three years, i can not sing enough praises for the way baking soda cleaned…well everything…it did not let me down plus it’s cheap, environmentally friendly and well, everything is sparkling!

i don’t have appropriate credits for this info but would willing provide it if someone knows of it’s origin. the original list was longer but i am sharing the great eight:

1. for less mess and perfectly shaped pancakes, use a meat baster. i thought this was great. it’s like using a giant eye dropper…more control, less mess.

2. when you are baking and the recipe calls for flouring the pan, use some of the dry cake mix instead as you won’t have the white mess on the outside of the cake after baking.

3. when you accidentally over salt a dish -adding a peeled potato will absorb the excess salt.

4. add a pinch of sugar to the water when boiling corn on the cob to bring out it’s natural sweetness.

5. headache cure: cut a lime in half and rub it on your forehead. bye-bye throbbing.

6. use a latex glove to open difficult jars. i love this one because i have small hands and i always struggle with jars.

7. have ants? personally, i don’t see them here like i did in the states. my last house in the states had huge fire ant nests in the yard. anyway, i digress-it has been said that ants won’t cross a chalk line. “put a line in the sand” so to speak and draw a chalk line where the ants are marching.

8. to clean the toilet, drop in two tablets of alka seltzer, leave for it for twenty minutes, brush and flush! the citric acid and effervescent action in alka seltzer will also clean the bottom of a vase, thermos bottle and it will polish jewelery. wait, one more…unclog your sink with alka seltzer. drop three tablets down the drain followed by one cup of vinegar. wait a few minutes and then run the hot water.

does it make you want to go clean or cook something? nawh, me either…it’s Friday night and housework can wait…..but….next time we do need these tips…we will be prepared, eh?

for now, go have a fun weekend!
D

how success is connected to stewardship

Posted on October 3, 2013 by Dee Clark

“the one who is faithful with little is also faithful with much, and the one who is dishonest with little is also dishonest with much…if you haven’t been faithful with someone else’s property, who will give you your own?”

Jesus told a story about a manager who was wasting a rich man’s estate. he was about to get fired. he didn’t want to do a labouring job and was too proud to beg for a living. he decided to be clever. he brought the people who owed the rich man money and made a deal with them so that they would take pity on him (and owe him a favor) when he got fired. he was hoping they would take him in. he asked them to rewrite their contracts for less than what was owed. kind of sounds like some dealings that go on in the world today. there really is nothing new under the sun.

at the end of the story…we are told this fact…anyone who is faithful with a little- will be faithful with a lot. anyone who is dishonest with even a little, will be dishonest in larger dealings as well.

it is very easy to become disgruntled in the work place. be very careful…because as we know, where our thoughts go…actions follow. actions like discontentment, gossip, bad attitudes and if left unchecked…clever thinking…taking advantage in ways that cause us to be dishonest.

a person begins to feel untitled to waste time, make adjustments here and there…and some have been led to fraud of varying degrees. it’s dangerous to become so familiar and allow an attitude of entitlement to take hold.

the life key here is: if you can’t be trusted with what belongs to someone else…your success, goals and desire for your own property is at risk.

kind of a what goes around comes around kind of thing again…a reaping what you sow…another of those laws like natural laws that are at work bringing results good or not so good.

i am thinking about this today because i have been working all week on the house we are renting. this home is not my own. however, the person who bought it with their hard earned money, have honored me with the opportunity to use it. it is not mine…yet, the life skill i have just mentioned requires me to honor this property as if it were my own. my parents also taught me that if i use, rent or borrow something, to leave it better than when i found it. that way, there will be no conflict, when i have a need in the future or make a future request, i can be trusted again..

i want to build another home in the future…but for now, i must be faithful and show good stewardship over something that belongs to someone else. i show respect for what i have been given to manage. my success depends on it.

if you are entrusted with another person’s property…be faithful with it. practice good stewardship and you will see benefits in other areas of your life. you really will. it will cost you but the person who owns the property whether a car, tool, business, home, etc. paid a price, as well, and their willingness to share is a great privilege. as you practice good stewardship, you learn to care for what you desire to own in the future…which is good economics.

what better way to say thank you. what a great way to turn things around for yourself so that you might just become the lender in your future.

life really is about relationships and there is a wealth of wisdom that can improve them and your life over all.

your success truly is connected to your stewardship.

my pathway always leads home

Posted on October 3, 2013 by Dee Clark

this is my morning project.

the sun is shining so it’s a great day to be outdoors.

there was a big mud hole we had to walk through every time we can through so I used some pallets to make a walk way.

i lined the path with my river stones…remember, the ones I collected while on holiday last December? i used them to remind me (as a memorial) of all i’ve been through since i came to NZ and how everytime, God made a way through.

now, they line my pathway…reminding me my journey is not complete and there is always a pathway home!

have an awesome day, everyone!

i hope the sun is shining in your heart!
D

take a responsible step

Posted on October 1, 2013 by Dee Clark

the practical language of love

Posted on September 28, 2013 by Dee Clark

The True Story of a Seven Year Marriage

Posted on September 28, 2013 by Dee Clark

This is a gorgeous look at the walk of love…it’s struggles and triumphs. Hope you enjoy!

Fly Softly My Love

I used to scoff at those who simply made it work, couples who lived long and tedious years together even if the fire had died. Life is too short I thought, to spend it with someone who doesn’t kindle your passion.

That was before I knew that passion isn’t something that floats around and lands on you like a lucky butterfly (at least not all the time). It needs to be tended, like a fire in your heart, by breathing life into a spark over and over. You choose where you build your fire, and your heart listens to your choice.

When our turn came to meet and marry, I wondered how we might avoid the boring fate of the uninspired; the settlers who had aimed high and fallen short.

What made us special, more right for each other than the others? We fooled ourselves and listed off the reasons.

View original post 1,142 more words

The Law of Love

Posted on September 25, 2013 by Dee Clark

i would like to thank my readers for their kind responses to my blogs on love.

i wanted to share this comment from Will at Diffuse The Muse

Hi Dee. Congratulations on this original and inspiring blog. I admire the objectivity of this series of posts. Dealing with intrinsically abstract concepts is very hard to do objectively and in a way that everyone can relate to on some level. I think you’ve done a splendid job! The pivotal issue, in my opinion, is your point No. 6: Selfishness, or as I see it, egocentricity. It is pivotal because it is at the very core of our instinctive nature—so much so that most of the other points could be said to derive from this one. If we are honest about it, and were to eliminate the “I”, the “me” and the “my” out of our contextual frame of reference for love, it becomes distorted, when it should become more symmetrical. Elevating one’s ego above oneself, and to the exclusion of itself, is an awesome goal for any thinking person. Then again, I look into the eyes of child in need and it seem almost right there for the taking.

Thank you for your kind comments, Will.

I agree that selfishness is “at the very core of our instinctive nature”. The reality is that in creation, animals have basic instincts they use as protective measures for survival. I think that humans have survival instincts as well. We do have to look out for ourselves in order to maintain healthy emotional well-being. The skill needed to do this is a healthy boundary system. This life skill is often not learned until after crisis. Therefore, we compensate the lack of skill for selfishness -believing that selfishness is what will protect us.

Quite the opposite is true.

Healthy boundaries are different than defensive walls like selfishness. Boundaries give us the opportunity to communicate our need for safe interaction. They should be based on your life values, wisdom, Truth, justice, and mine include the law. These boundaries are your safety zone, clearly defined so that another person is (or can become) aware of what lines not to cross.

When I was young and dating, one of my boundaries was that I wanted to be respected as a woman. Therefore, whistles, cat-calls and crudeness were not acceptable to me. I would not date a young man who crossed that line.

A few other boundaries that I have developed include:
1. I am a giving person but don’t expect to order me around or take advantage of my generosity.
2. Rudeness is just never appropriate. I understand firm authority but there is no need to be condescending or rude.
3. Love covers a multitude of sins…true…but don’t ask me to lie to cover up for your wrong. If you choose the action, I won’t expose you publicly but I won’t lie for you either. I won’t participate in anything illegal or against my life values.
4. We might disagree, feel angry and have conflict but that will not cause me to discard the friendship even if a little space is required for a time.

You don’t need to list the boundaries out, a gentle reminder is often enough to get things back on track, if explained lovingly.

Recently, I found myself in conflict with a friend over a business policy. My friend stated that they did not want the friendship to suffer as a result. I was able to simply reassure the person that disagreeing did not mean that we could not be friends and that I believed we could find an appropriate solution for both parties.

Boundaries are a way to protect the relationship so that the issues can be worked out. But first, you must understand yourself, what you believe and what you want.

That is why I have been sharing the wisdom given in Corinthians concerning what real love looks like. Because I believe that love has the attributes I have shared and I use this information as a boundary for my own actions.

Love is a law…like the Law of Gravity. The Law of Love works every time -without fail -in the same way that the Law of Gravity works everytime, without fail.

Working within it’s boundaries provides the best results…outside of those boundaries is pain.

I can say, “I don’t believe in the law of gravity” and continue to work against it, my end result will be catastrophic if I make the wrong choice.

Sometimes, in the above mentioned confusion (concerning instinct), we think there is an option or loop hole that frees us from right behavior. Unfortunately, if we really want success, there isn’t…love is the way to make things work appropriately.

I can learn to get my point across without being unkind. I can be firm, diplomatic, and kind and acheive a better result than starting a conflict. If the other person is uncoperative, there are appropriate-wise-lawful (depending on what is required) ways to handle the situation without being ruthless, mean, and hateful.

One of my favorite examples is that of my friend in Chattanooga who lost her son to a drunken driver. The driver was wrong. My friend was in terrible emotional pain. The loss was more than anyone deserves. She followed through with the legal accountability and the driver was sent to jail. The driver was a mother and jail was a difficult consequence. Yet, throughout the process, my friend was not mean to this person. She actually, told her she forgave her, helped her through the trial and once she has finished her sentence, will work with her to get her life back on track. This approach did not save my friend’s son from death…but it has helped her heart to begin the healing process, will help salvage the driver’s life and she started a non-profit organization to help bring awareness to the consequences of drinking and driving. The impact for good will be so much more beneficial than revenge.

“Love never fails” is not just a nice quote…it is truth. It is not whimpy. It is a life skill. It is a law of the spirit and it works so much better than the alternative!

You can count on it!

I do hope you have found these posts helpful. Thank you so much for sharing your time with me!