How to Show Mature Love

20130923-213002.jpghow mature are you when it comes to love?

the last characteristic in my little series of posts on love is…

love never a fails…never stops, never fades, doesn’t become obsolete…it does not end.

in the midst of an argument? you are thinking, “I don’t know what to do.” love…never fails! ego will build defences, anger will inflame the situation, sarcasm will invite a bloody nose 😉, standing your rightful ground will end communication…love never fails.

actually, when i look closely at this wisdom found in the letter to the Corinthians, it is pretty clear to me that love would probably put a lot of relationship issues to rest.

let’s do a quick test. read the list below. choose which of the two words evoke a positive response in you:

1. Patience vs impatience
2. Kindness vs unkindness
3. Trust vs jealousy
4. Humble vs prideful
5. Mannerly vs rude
6. Selfless vs selfish
7. Irritable vs easy going
8. Forgiving vs holds a grudge
9. Supportive vs throwing you under the bus
10. Justice vs injustice
11. Believes the best in you vs accusatory
12. Never gives up vs quits easily

how many of the second of the two words do you wish more people would use more when dealing with you?

none? me, too!

in fact, i have spent a lot of time in my life asking people NOT to deal with me according to the second words of the list. i feel quite passionate about not being dealt with in those ways.

ah-ha moment…then i shouldn’t deal with people that way, right? because i know how it feels…and i DON’T like it. then why act that way myself. should be common sense, eh?

nothing we do, think, or believe is of any importance if used as an excuse for not loving or behaving in a loving way. not what you believe. not what you hope for…although both are awesome…they should not be used in place of love.

that doesn’t include accountability. love IS NoT blind!!!! love acts justly…so if accountability is necessary…love holds us accountable.

i have been posting about what love looks like, how love behaves and the wisest ways to apply love. love requires maturity. at the end of the letter in Corinthians, Paul makes the statement that when he was a child he acted liked a child and when he was old he put away childish things…Paul has not stopped giving wisdom about love.

the second word in my little test are childish behaviors.

watch any 2 year old…you will see them.

have you ever said to someone acting out those second words, “don’t be so juvenile!”? or “grow up,”?

we recognize them as juvenile, behaviors in others… we should be objective enough to call it as we see it in ourselves…if we do…we are applying maturity.

i truly believe that our day to day relationships and our own peace of mind would be so much more successful if we would stop being childish; throwing tantrums, calling names, quitting when we don’t get our own way, being vengeful, irritable or irritating…

and love with a real, mature level of love.

mature, real love is….

Patient
Kind
Trusting
Selfless
Humble
Easy going
Mannerly
Forgiving
Supportive
Just
Believes the best
Keeps going!!!

mature, real love never fails…

the move is going well…although a big job, i love that i get a chance to do a major “spring clean”…I’ll be sorted for summer fun this way, eh?

thank you for your patience while i have not had internet and was not able to post…feels good to get back into the swing of things.

D

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maturity is like a harness

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Maturity is many things. It is the ability to base a judgment on the big picture, the long haul.

It means being able to resist the urge for immediate gratification and opt for the course of action that will pay off later.

One of the characteristics of the young is “I want it now.”

Grown-up people can wait.

Maturity is perseverance–the ability to sweat out a project or a situation, in spite of heavy opposition and discouraging setbacks, and stick with it until it is finished.

The adult who is constantly changing friends and changing mates is immature. He/she cannot stick it out because he/she has not grown up.

Maturity is the ability to control anger and settle differences without violence or destruction. The mature person can face unpleasantness, frustration, discomfort and defeat without collapsing or complaining. He/she knows he cannot have everything his/her own way every time. He/she is able to defer to circumstances, to other people-and to time. He/she knows when to compromise and is not too proud to do so.

Maturity is humility. It is being big enough to say, “I was wrong.” And, when he/she is right, the mature person need not experience the satisfaction of saying, “I told you so.”

Maturity is the ability to live up to your responsibilities, and this means being dependable. It means keeping your word. Dependability is the hallmark of integrity. Do you mean what you say-and do you say what you mean? Unfortunately, the world is filled with people who cannot be counted on. When you need them most, they are among the missing. They never seem to come through in the clutches. They break promises and substitute alibis for performance. They show up late or not at all. They are confused and disorganized. Their lives are a chaotic maze of broken promises, former friends, unfinished business and good intentions that somehow never materialize. They are always a day late and a dollar short.

Maturity is the ability to make a decision and stand by it. Immature people spend their lives exploring endless possibilities and then doing nothing. Action requires courage. Without courage, little is accomplished.

Maturity is the ability to harness your abilities and your energies and do more than is expected. The mature person refuses to settle for mediocrity. He/she would rather aim high and miss the mark than low-and make it.

Maturity is the art of living in peace with that which cannot be changed, the courage to change that which should be changed, no matter what it takes, and the wisdom to know the difference.
-Ann Landers, columnist

The 7 exercises we discussed yesterday will help develop this type of maturity.

Happy exercising,
D