let me just say before i go on that although this skill is difficult to develop at the start…it is probably one of the most effective skills to have under your life tool belt.
as a woman, we are emotional to the core. it can be far too easy to just go with it. yet, this one back fires on us continually if we don’t get it under control. not being touchy is only going to be successful if self-control is applied.
so, no more blaming PMS or guys, whatever you blame.
the topics i have been covering concerning love require a sensitive heart. however, being touchy is the polar opposite.
a touchy person makes you feel like you must walk around on egg shells. believe me, this makes the relationship extremely difficult.
a touchy person is never happy unless things go according to their wishes.
a touchy person indirectly intimidates others, causes a lot of drama, and often has meltdowns unless their needs are met.
a touchy person will use manipulation although they appear passive and compliant.
a touchy person often pouts and emotionally punishes those around them.
do you know this person? have you been this person?
remember, i often say, “hurting people hurt people”. if you are dealing with a person like this or are this person -it’s a pretty good indication that there are deeper underlying personal problems that the person (or you) are dealing with.
it’s like reaching out and touching a fresh wound. have you ever had a bruise, sun burn or wound that someone innocently smacks. you scream out. the person who smacked you may have been giving you a friendly pat and is shocked at the reaction. you, on the other hand, are reeling with pain all over again.
touchiness is like that. previous pain to the heart causes a person to be hyper-sensitive to what may not have been intended to wound.
since we have all been wounded before, it is possible that we face some touchy moments.
1. you can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge. if the wound is deeper than you know how to fix…there is help! don’t isolate yourself and remain in a painful state.
2. forgive. whether you need to distance yourself from an offender or not, forgiveness is necessary for the wound to heal, for real love to operate in your heart toward others, for peace of mind to return, and for touchiness to subside.
3. find the trigger that sets you off. if you can begin to objectively look at what causes you to feel touchy, it becomes easier to identify where self-control needs to applied.
following my abusive relationship, one of my triggers was rudeness and disrespect. there were times that i interpreted things as rude when it wasn’t meant that way. i had to look honestly at what really was rude and what i was perceiving that way. i also had to convince myself that NOT everyone was like my abuser just waiting for the opportunity to hurt me. it took time but with purposeful action, one step at a time, i was able to free my heart…and you can, too.
resentment will have similar affects. resentment addresses the injustice of the pain, i think. it is difficult to let go…but tying yourself to injustice only puts you in a prison to the offence.
moving forward and attempting to love others becomes almost impossible. i see it like a cancer. you think you can contain it to one area (the offender) but it slowly, stealthily spreads out even onto people you would never dream of wanting to hurt -children, spouses, family and friends.
are you sweating this one? i know! it’s a tough one.
and love takes no account of a wrong suffered.
there was a day that this made me gasp for breath. seriously. again, let me make it VERY clear…this DOES NOT mean you must endure abuse! you have a right to be treated fairly, appropriately and safely! i endured abuse thinking that i was required to just wipe the slate clean and go back for more. this is not what this means.
however, once i was no longer being abused and was healed (yes, i had to heal before i reached this step)…there was a day that my heart could move past the pain and live as if there had been no “wrong suffered”.
this is where we get the saying, love like you have never been hurt. what an amazing thing when we are able to forgive, release and heal enough to allow love to fill our hearts like we have never been hurt…at that point -resentment fades, touchiness ceases and we are truly living and loving the way we have hoped deep within the heart.
now, i’m touchy but it’s in a positive way…i can’t help reaching out and touching others in a compassionate way…and what a lovely reaction that brings. the world is searching for love…a love that is a safe place for their hearts. a refuge.
love has a cost. but aren’t we used to paying the cost for a worthwhile product…love is definitely good value!
i can’t tell you how happy i am that you have stopped by to read my blog. thank you!