We all have that someone. Let me be honest, I have been that voice before. In my brokenness, I was guilty of being a voice with the wrong message. Here’s the horrifying thing about that message: it echoes on long after I forgot what I said, long after I have moved on and longer than I ever imagined.

How do I know?
Because, someone once spoke a similar message to me. That message shows up every time I need to be courageous and brave.
It’s designed to make me doubt myself.
Silence the “You are not enough” message. 
Don’t doubt yourself. Be courageous. Be compassionate (to yourself). Be brave.

Advertisements

Give Yourself What Other Can’t

  
There is nothing more heartbreaking than the disappointment we feel when a person in our life can not give us what we deserve.

But people can not give us what they do not have.
Sometimes, you have to give yourself what they can’t. And it’s important that you do this without resenting them. 
Resentment clogs the heart. Keep your heart open.

How To Give Up Your Hope For A Better Past

  
Forgiveness gives us an opportunity. When we forgive, we let go of the hope for a better past. 

We can not make the past better than it was or change what it is.
We can do the intentional, purposeful work of healing from our past.
And we will find the opportunity and freedom to create a better present and future.
Journey on,

Dee

A Valuable Key To Whole-Hearted Living

  
According to researcher and author, Brene Brown, people who live whole-heartedly and experience more joy cultivate an atmosphere of gratitude in their lives.

The most valuable way I have found to do this is to pay attention and celebrate the small stuff. 

We can all get excited over the dream vacation, huge holiday celebrations or our favorite team’s landslide win.

But the purest joy comes from the things that ordinary days are made of celebrated each moment of the day. You know, the things we sometimes take for granted.

It’s the small things that give life it’s interesting flavour like the sprinkled cinnamon that tops my chai latte. 

If you are looking for fuller joy and the ability to engaged more whole-heartedly, the most valuable key is to celebrate the small stuff and cultivate greater levels of gratitude in your everyday life.

Journey on,

Dee

Connection Is Why We Are Here

deeclarknz.comNeuro-biologically, we are hard-wired for connection. Connection is why we are here. Connection gives purpose and meaning to our lives. The feeling of being connected is the ability to link or associate with something, to belong; like what holds the pedals of this flower together.deeclarknz.com

Ask your closest friends and family about connection and they will tell you their most excruciating stories of heartbreak and feeling excluded. That place where we see at a distance what we long to grab hold of and feeling like it is too far away or attainable.

deeclarknz.com

That place that screams from the deepest part of our heart and says, “I feel alone and it doesn’t feel right”. I have been there. I have been holding the hand of someone whom I desperately desired to connect with and feel the distance is too great a span for meaningful connection to occur. I have felt that no matter what I do, there is no kindness or gentleness or acceptance. It makes my heart weep and scream and whirl.

deeclarknz.com

In the midst of the screaming and feeling alone, we begin to gather shame. Shame is the fear of disconnection. It is the belief that there is something about me that if other people know or see, that thing will make me unworthy of connection and I will remain alone.

deeclarknz.com

Universally, we all feel shame unless we have no capacity for human empathy. It looks like: “I’m not _____ enough.”

  • I’m not smart enough.
  • I’m not thin enough.
  • I’m not rich enough.
  • I’m not beautiful enough.
  • I’m not successful enough.

deeclarknz.com

Shame unravels connection.

deeclarknz.com

In order to connect, we must find the courage to tell the story of who we are with our whole heart. We must be willing to be imperfect and fully who we are, letting go of who we think we should be to be considered worthy of connection. We need to be brave enough to see that we are different from those standing right next to us and that truth makes us beautiful and unique.

deeclarknz.com

We must fully embrace vulnerability. We must allow ourselves to be seen, really seen. On my walk to the beach this morning, I met this gentleman who was walking his pet lamb (isn’t it cool that he has a pet lamb and is taking it for a walk?). I stopped to say hello and make a connection. He told me, “She does not like the lead. She is a bit stubborn.” I rubbed her ears and said, “We girls can all be a bit stubborn at times, can’t we?” As I walked away, I was flushed with a sense of shame that I had just told a complete stranger that as a woman, I have a stubborn streak. Yet, after thinking about it, I felt brave as well. I looked at an imperfection and declared it openly with vulnerability.

deeclarknz.com

Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and joy and creativity and of belonging and love. When we find that vulnerability and tenderness are important, we will surrender and kind of walk into it. When we do, we find a willingness to take risks that bring us closer to each other; let our hair down, ask for help, initiate an embrace, love without guarantees and more.

According to Brene Brown, true, meaningful connections can be made if we will follow these 4 simple steps:

  • We allow ourselves to be deeply and vulnerably seen.
  • We love with our whole heart even if there are no guarantees.
  • We practice gratitude and lean into joy during moments of terror when we wonder, “Can I love you this much?”; “Can I believe in this as passionately?”; “Can I be this fiercely brave about this?”
  • We believe that “We Are Enough”. Because when we believe that we are enough, we stop screaming and we start listening. We are kinder and gentler to ourselves. And we are kinder and gentler to those around us.

To feel vulnerability means that I am alive. That you are alive. Being vulnerable opens the door to being connected which gives fulfilment to the purpose of our lives.

We live in a vulnerable world. What makes you feel vulnerable?

Embrace your vulnerability and get connected!

D

Garlic Salt Recipe

 deeclarknz.com 

I have a handy little recipe to share with you today. 

I use garlic salt almost as much as I use water. I love it! However, this little 200g jar normally costs me over $8NZD. Not thrifty enough for this girl.

After reading several recipes, I quickly found out that there are only two ingredients needed to make my favourite spice mixture: garlic and salt. Duh, Dee? Right? 

The “how to” was as embarrassingly easy. Although it was easy peasy to put together, there are a couple of ways to go about it. 

1. Garlic granules and salt.

2. Fresh garlic finely crushed mixed with salt and then dried until all of the moisture is gone from the garlic.

Today, I opted for using the granules but I will definitely attempt using fresh garlic the next time.

So, here’s how easy it was to make (I opted to experiment and make my own version of the recipes I read):

1 cup sea salt (iodised salt was not recommended. Sea salt is heartier and tastes best)

1 – 45g packet of garlic granules

That’s it! Mix and store in an airtight container. It should stay fresh for 3-4 months (mine won’t last that long!)

Because I like Herbed garlic salt, I also added:

1Tbls dried dill

1 Tbls dried parsley

1 Tbls dried chives

The total cost for this recipe was $3 and I have plenty of ingredients to make more. It only took a couple of minutes to mix together as well. Plus, I felt quite accomplished! (Simple pleasures!)

BTW, herbed garlic salt is what I use for my homemade ranch dressing. Perfect every time! So, this will work a treat!

If you love using garlic salt as much as I do, give this recipe a try…you will love it!

Morning Frost on the Ground

  

I woke to very cold temperatures this morning, frost, icicles hanging on the house and sunshine. I couldn’t resist getting down and having a closer look at the frost on the ground.

Summer, why did you leave me? Don’t you love me anymore? 

My family arrives in 6 days and I feel so sad that they are leaving summertime weather for a winter vacation. 

Wouldn’t you know it’s the coldest winter we’ve had in a while.

Brrrrrrrrrrr

Cee’s Black and White Photo Challenge: Animals

  

deeclarknz.com

NZ opossums have fur!

 
deeclarknz.com

serious meercat cuteness

  

deeclarknz.com

brand new baby lamb

  

deeclarknz.cm

ignore the cute humans…the elephant is the star today!

  

deeclarknz.com

hungry giraffe

  

Vivid

 To my young friends out there: Life can be great, but not when you can’t see it. So, open your eyes to life: to see it in the vivid colors that God gave us as a precious gift to His … Continue reading