Typically, the focus in February is romantic love. However, this month I am concentrating my focus on all of my relationships.
I envisioned fun ways to strengthen my relationship with those I care about (I’m certain I will get that opportunity over the next few weeks) but two thoughts keep rolling over in my heart:
1. Trying to love from an empty place, whether in my spirit, mind, body or heart, is like trying to fill a swimming pool with a bucket full of holes.
2. My weakest relationships, the ones that stretch everything in me, the ones that expose my lack of love and cause me to react badly, are the ones I need to make peace with in my heart and mind.
Because here is the thing I know to be true: hatred, bitterness and unforgiveness spread like cancer. They are not easily contained.
I used to think that I could put those feelings in a nice little box and tuck them away in a dark corner of my heart. I wanted to hold onto them so that I could use them when necessary. Because after all, don’t we all know someone worthy of the contents of this box?
The problem with my little box is that even though I had it tucked away and hidden, it always seemed to creep into relationships where I desperately wanted to “love deeply”.
So, in the first 3 days of February, I am allowing myself to be more aware of my weakest relationships. I’m challenging myself to bravely adjust my own heart. Line my behaviours and words to the standard of loving deeply.
There are people who no longer have the privilege of closeness but I am still in relationship with them for reasons beyond my control. My goal is that I am true to my value of love. And love is kind, love is gentle, love is not rude…
Sometimes loves isn’t fluffy. There are times when love is tough and accountable and truth-telling. But it will always be kind and gentle and polite.
That’s where I will be starting in February…and I think it will strengthen all of my relationships. Who knows, it might even build a bridge or two!
(Please note: Anyone in an abusive relationship should not take this as advice to endure the abuse. You have a right to be safe and feel secure. Seek help. Loving ourselves enough to find help is loving deeply!)