Sometimes it feels like my life is always under construction. When I come face to face with my flaws, I can be pretty hard on myself. Are you? Hard on yourself? Shame says that because I am flawed I am unacceptable.
Along my journey it has been necessary for me to learn to hold myself to a standard of grace rather that perfection. One of my biggest flaws is that I have perfectionist tendencies. Now, this in its self is frustrating. Because I am not a perfectionist. I only have perfectionist tendencies. That means that I want perfection but often miss the mark of perfection which can drive me completely bonkers some days. I have had to reconstruct this part of my foundation so that I aim for excellence (the very best I can possibly do) instead of perfection and give myself grace when I have given a task the full benefit of my current knowledge, skill and ability.
Not only can I drive myself bonkers at times, when I am too hard on myself it becomes more difficult to extend grace and mercy to others. And we need each other’s support and strength. We are a sisterhood. Each one of us is a work in progress. We must be proud of our efforts to learn and grow and be more. No one has it all together all of the time.
If you are a work in progress, here are a few tips to keep in mind while your life is under construction:
Your journey through personal growth will be rough and often unpredictable so expect pitfalls, sharp turns, and unexpected stops along the way.
With any new construction you always want to ensure that the foundation of what you’re building is strong. With your personal growth, your main focus initially will be on your values, self-perception, authenticity and beliefs. Once these are rooted you will build from there.
Construction never goes as planned. There are always unexpected setbacks that delay progress. Anything worth doing is not easy so be prepared to feel like your going backward at times.
Be sure to find a space in your life that gives you a reprieve. You will become depleted and exhausted easily through this process so take care of yourself and use self-compassion liberally. You should not be expected to live exclusively among the mess so take some breaks and get out of the construction for periods of time.
Be realistic about your process and what you can expect of yourself. There are certain things that will shift easily and other aspects of yourself that will be ingrained and part of your character. The goal is not to be different, but to actually become more you.
Focus on what you can control, and what will offer you the best possible version of you.
And as always, if you need professional help with this process, please ask for help. Outside sources of wisdom and expertise will ensure that you build yourself in the best way possible.
On this journey of life, we never stop learning. We never stop growing. And as frustrating as the fact may be, we never truly arrive! We keep working to be more and better and more truly who we are meant to be.
Do you need support and strength like I do? How do you support yourself and your friends? Please leave a comment in the comment section below.